Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Bliss


Well, I give up folks. They've now made a drink that does exactly what Zen practice is supposed to do. I'm just gonna buy that stuff from now on. Lots easier!

http://iambliss.net/

According to the website:

When your mind is both calm and clear and your body relaxed, you will experience that sacred state of being called BLISS. The reason why most of us are denied the experience of BLISS is directly related to our lack of one, two, or all three states necessary for BLISS: calmness, clarity and relaxation. The miracle of a 2.5 oz. shot of I AM BLISS® is that it naturally, safely, and effectively promotes all three states of being. The result is BLISS.

The BLISS Experience: Although everyone’s experience of BLISS is different there is a common theme. Almost immediately after drinking I AM BLISS® you feel a deep sense of relaxation, a letting go, as it were, of the problems and stressors that may have seemed overwhelming just minutes ago. Curiously, as you relax, your energy level noticeably increases. I AM BLISS® does not work like a typical relaxant that can make you drowsy.

Within ten to fifteen minutes the real miracle begins. The chatter, self talk and background noise that usually dominates your awareness subsides and you become more present. You may notice your surroundings more intensely. Colors, sounds, and shapes are more vivid, more interesting, more beautiful. You are now deeply rooted in the present moment. This may be the first time you have really experienced how it feels to be totally present.


Wow. Who knew? A one month's supply is only $120!

***

I'm working on my European jaunt. It starts this Sunday when I go winging off to Amsterdam. The full itinerary is at the following website:

http://web.me.com/doubtboy/Site/ZenTour2011.html

The date listed as Rotterdam on October 9 (John Lennon's birthday) has been moved to Amsterdam. And a date in Manchester, England has been added. I'll get the info up as soon as I can.

This is the last time I do one of these tours without some kind of secretary, assistant or jisha to help. Getting all the schedule right has just about made my head explode.

***

If I write about a medical procedure on this blog can I claim the procedure as a tax write-off? Cuz this shit I have coming up on Friday's gonna cost me two grand and probably won't amount to anything at all.

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

Does the same company that manufactures "IAMS Dog Food" make "I AM BLISS"?

If I give "I AM BLISS" to my dog will he have the Buddha nature?

Jeff said...

So it's basically opiates and hallucinogenics in a convenient drinkable form? Sweet! Count me in for 6 months worth. I'm sure the wife will understand the sudden $720 charge to our account once she ties this miracle product for the first time. Wait..., better order two 6 month supplies. Only $1440 then.

Anonymous said...

Caffeine, taurine and some B
vitamins = 20 cents. Sell it for
$2.00 or more.

Does taurine effect the parasympathetic system? If it does
Gudo might be able to get in on the
marketing.

Brad Warner holding up a can of
Bliss. " There's no such thing as
enlightenment or bliss, but if
there was, I'd get it from a can."

Fred

Anonymous said...

What, no Finland on the menu, even though your no. 1 fan lives there?

PS. Not me, I'm talking about the U-man.

Anonymous said...

oh yeah, again!

Anonymous said...

Oops, the wrong Bliss. I Am Bliss
has GABA an inhibitory neural
transmitter and some weeds.

Genpo could probably sell it.

Anonymous said...

What 'cost' are you stating here? It seems that the personal benefit is overwhelming, that is why you continue doing it. And you will always have my thanks for your actions and guidance.

Mumon said...

They've now made a drink that does exactly what Zen practice is supposed to do.

No it's not.

But here's some happy thoughts about Amsterdam from Jacques Brel:

Dans le port d’Amsterdam
Y a des marins qui boivent
Et qui boivent et reboivent
Et qui reboivent encore
Ils boivent à la santé
Des putains d’Amsterdam
De Hambourg ou d’ailleurs
Enfin ils boivent aux dames
Qui leur donnent leur joli corps
Qui leur donnent leur vertu
Pour une pièce en or
Et quand ils ont bien bu
Se plantent le nez au ciel
Se mouchent dans les étoiles
Et ils pissent comme je pleure
Sur les femmes infidèles
Dans le port d’Amsterdam
Dans le port d’Amsterdam.

Brad Warner said...

Mumon said:

They've now made a drink that does exactly what Zen practice is supposed to do.

No it's not.


I know. It's a joke.

Now I gotta learn French!

joshr said...

Sounds more like a lube than a drink.

Uku said...

Anonymous said...

What, no Finland on the menu

Unfortunately this time I was and am far too busy to arrange Brad's visit to Finland. It sucks, but that's how it is this time.

Jason said...

Hope your medical procedure goes well on Friday. Hang in there, dude!

Concerned Citizen said...

Jeez, Brad, first Mysterion, now YOU? What sort of "procedure" are you forking over 2K for?

Are you going for girth or length? or both??

Olivia said...

You need some admin help... I'm all over that.

BC Richardson said...

I'm feeling a bout of B.A.D. coming on, better know as Bliss Acquisition Disorder. Who would of thought just in a few years a enlightenment experience would go from 50k to just a 120 bucks for a months supply.

Hope all turns out well on your medical stuff Brad.

Korey said...

Brad, in your book Hardcore Zen you wrote about some dude you went on a retreat with who would constantly fart in your face and shit. How bad did they smell? lol

Mysterion said...

BLISS???

The goal of Zazen is no goal...

You know what they say:
"Ignorance is bliss."

To remain blissful, one must not leave one's own village - Lao Tsu said words to that effect.

the OPPOSITE of bliss is herein linked.

bliss?

bliss?

Ānanda example of rank commercialization.

Doug said...

Within ten to fifteen minutes the real miracle begins. The chatter, self talk and background noise that usually dominates your awareness subsides and you become more present. You may notice your surroundings more intensely. Colors, sounds, and shapes are more vivid, more interesting, more beautiful.

Is this FDA approved? :-p

Korey said...

Funny you posted this actually cause I wanted to ask you about this practice I invented. Brad, I've developed my own sort of pseudo-Zen lineage/ teaching style. The lineage is called Psychedelic Zen.

I've been practicing Psychedelic Zen for about a year now and want to teach it to other people and help them. It basically involves reclining back in a bean bag chair in the dark with some VERY trippy music playing. You also light a bunch of nifty candles and incense and you just lie there and you enter a very deep state of relaxation.

There's a little something you... "take" beforehand but I won't get into that. I'll just tell you that it's most likely a lot more potent than this silly "Bliss" nonsense.

Anyways Brad, what is your thoughts on Psychedelic Zen and do you think I should wait to recieve dharma transition before I start teaching it? Thanks

Anonymous said...

I just farted, but i am not the mysterious korean farter. However Korean eat lots of strange thing so much farting not surprising.

About this bliss drink, you can go get a mickey for cheaper and it's going todo something for you... even Trungpa knew this, too bad we can't ask him if it was bliss. I have a feeling bliss will fucking eat you alive.

Karen Mueller said...

Ingredients include: Ashwaganda, lavender, passionflower, chamomile and "l-theanine". Also Vit B3 and B12.

Mostly calming, drowsy-making stuff

http://www.iambliss.net/index.php/how-it-works

Anonymous said...

The placebo effect is highly under-rated.

This product is comically easy to detect as a lie. Go ahead and mock it, it deserves it. However think about this, what does it have todo with Zen?

What, you don't think that means anything for you and Zen. Does it? What sort of products has Brad Warner sold you. Look carefully, he probably wouldn't even have to make a plastic canister and fill it with tasty water.

Hold your applause.

Khru said...

This is probably the best comment thread I've ever seen on Bradley's blog...

an3drew said...

"bliss" is basically just GABA which would help with sleep and relaxing which would have a place given that america is a wired health nightmare !

however gaba itself and the formulation will feed gut bugs and give chronic digestive difficulties !

so it's doomed !

there are better ways to improve GABA and sleep !

an3drew said...

"This is the last time I do one of these tours without some kind of secretary, assistant or jisha to help."

the new paradigm appears to be you do everything yourself !

maybe you are already getting an inkling of the health issues of aging and the clock running out

i'd look for a good woman in europe with a bit of money

Nishijima is the exception !

Seagal Rinpoche said...

Not when truth is dirty, but when it is shallow, does the enlightened man dislike to wade into its waters.

donny said...

Hei Mumon love that song, my mate always plays it any chance he gets. Yeah pity you won't be in Finland this time Brad, I'll have to order some extra cans of Bliss to make up for it. Good luck with the op and have a great trip!

Anonymous said...

Brad Warner said...

Mumon said:

They've now made a drink that does exactly what Zen practice is supposed to do.

No it's not.


I know. It's a joke.


Brad, you should know better than to make jokes with western Buddhists around. You know two-thirds of them have no sense of humor at all.

Lone Wolf said...

Bonjour Brad! Cava? Je suis bon. Est-ce que tu va Paris, France?

Dangerous Zen said...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rev-zesho-susan-oconnell/zen-practice-is-difficult-and-dangerous_b_973769.html

Anonymous said...

So you're saying Brad can't tell jokes...

Mysterion said...

I'll vouch for that!

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