Saturday, May 14, 2011

CELEBRATE THE RETURN OF CHRIST WITH ZERO DEFEX!


As everyone knows by now, Jesus Christ will begin the Rapture in which all the faithful are taken up to Heaven on May 21st. In honor of His second coming Zero Defex will play a special show on that final day on Earth for all the faithful on May 21st at Annabelle's Lounge in Akron with Don Austin, Cheap Tragedies and Weird Penis. The show is free.

So, since this is the final day for Planet Earth as we know it, I recommend that all of you in far flung places spend your last savings to come see us rock out the Rapture. How better to spend your final hours if you're one of the faithful, or to prepare for seven years of torment and the coming reign of the Anti-Christ if you're not?

Here's a preview of what to expect that day:



For more on the second coming, check out this article from LA Weekly.

For those of you with pets who want to know what to do with Fido or Felix or Crackers the parrot after you are taken up to meet Jesus in the air, we recommend Eternal Earthbound Pets or After The Rapture Pet Care. These kindly atheists have set up organizations to lovingly care for the pets of the faithful after Jesus calls their owners home.

Filming on Shoplifting From American Apparel has been going nicely. Yesterday we shot a whole bunch of scenes on Hollywood Boulevard near Vine. Weird homeless-looking people kept trying to walk into the shots. We had two guys tell our director they would pray for him to go the Hell because he wouldn't give them some of the granola bars he'd bought for the actors and crew. We had a human beatbox try to beatbox his way into the production. Oh the fun of Hollywood!

I'd try and think of something Zen to say. But I gotta go now.

I'll see all of you on May 21st!

THIS JUST IN

Pics from the Shoplifting From American Apparel shoot:

http://shikow.blogspot.com/2011/05/hollywood-shoot-shoplifting-from.html

65 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hail to the king, baby!

Anonymous said...

A preview of our new host after the rapture.

Seems todo a lot of the stuff Jesus did... meteors, earthquakes.

Guess we fucked either way.

anonymous anonymous said...

Jesus looks like Chuck Norris in that cartoon.

Harry said...

I quite liked the He-Man take on that cheery little tale:

http://youtu.be/InQ2MT6s4XU

Harry said...

'Thunder Mormons' is a trip down memory lane too:

http://youtu.be/72bedTSzL00

john e mumbles said...

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

If the second time you don't succeed, you're probably Jesus.

BD said...

Wow, all I can say about that video, wow...

Mysterion said...

"This time around, however, Camping isn't hedging bets or adding question marks."

Thank (whatever) god(s) (may be) that a TRUE BIBLE BELIEVER® like Brother Camping® has stepped forward to reveal the TRUE® word of god(s).

We can all rest at night knowing the heavy lifting that Brother Camping has done resulted in his rupture and our hour of rapture.

Anyone who says otherwise is condemned to a month of Sundays in the local church (mind prison). Do not doubt it! Mother Nature is a Bitch and she's married to 'what's his name.'

Now go wipe off your shoes at the dung gate.

Mysterion said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

"There will come a time when everybody will disdain the truth, and when their ears itch for more information, they'll choose their herders according to their own predispositions"

Mysterion said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
john e mumbles said...

OK, I am totally covetous of your geetar glasses! Not enough to rise from the dead though, sorry...

Rick said...

The world will end on May 21, 2011 and then again on Dec 21, 2012? You have no idea how much havoc this is playing with my appointments.

Anonymous said...

So, one of the Norse Pantheon was bored with Valhalla and assumed a human form. He picked up a young tart, who happaned to have a lisp, at the local pub and she took him to her apartment for the weekend for a good marathon shagging.

Monday morning, he confessed: "I'm Thor.!

"You're THOR..." she said, bobbing her head.

an3drew said...

apocalypse message board : o )

i have this image of the commenters here sitting around a table at the end of time, gassing shall we say ?

Doorman said...

well, here we are.

Mayra said...

It seems that there is another group on the scene with a new perspective in disputing Camping's prophesies. They make a compelling statement that "Jesus is here now." Check out their billboard which I think will stir the pot a bit.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/62779138@N08/5708063636

Anonymous Bob said...

The world will end on May 15, 2011 at 10:48..

And then again at 10:49 in case you missed it.

CAPTCHA : graff : I kid you not

Uncle Willie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Robert said...

It IS about the $$$$$

http://sweepingzen.com/2011/05/07/making-buddhism-look-pretty-pathetic/

Anonymous said...

I just had a "new wisdom release" on the white porcelain throne.http://www.merkaba.org/

Pudellli said...

snuff a frat boy zen jaggoff for Jeebus too-day

Ray (come to chicago) said...

Jesus is anthropomorphized as the sun so yes he is going to come back to us on May 21st just like he does every morning

I Gotta said...

FART

After Harry said...

Just put it all back in my pants.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous Ray (come to chicago) said...
"Jesus is the anthropomorphized sun..."

or NOT

anonymous anonymous said...

Love the Elton John glasses, but if you start wearing a feather boa I'm out of here.

Anonymous said...

I will obviously avoid driving my VW over bridges on May 21.

Anonymous said...

"unbelievable" is correct.

wipe your behind...

Hollywood buys in - for CA$H.

an3drew said...

Doorman said...

"well, here we are."

----------------

zen

wankers

just

look

to

the

original

face

you

will

see

it

blind

bloody

from

the

dark

cessppool

of

suffering

you

zen

frauds !

Harry said...

reading

messages

like

this

reminds

me

of

William

Shat

ner's

delivery

of

lines

in

Star

Trek.

I

think

even

The

Shat

realises

that

calling

each

other

wankers

will

not

bring

us

closer

in

the

end.

Besides

we

do

it

here

all

the

time

and

it

has't

worked.

zen wank said...

I just caught a whiff of my breath and almost gagged.

an3drew said...

you never read it harry, it's just your claim

flies

buzz

around
in

eternity
it

doesn't

make

them

of

eternity !

an3drew said...

brad


warner


you


must


be

a


corpse


to


have


so


many


of

these


carrion
maters


around !

Bizarro Seagal said...

It's all about sincerity. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Harry said...

Scotty!

I

can't

reach

my

tricorder...

Must

stop

invaders

getting

aboard

the

enterprise!

Damn

those

Romulans,

Realisation

isn't

the

preserve

of

just

one

person

to

be

flashed

around

like

some

gaudy

bauble...

arrrgghhhh!

Ran K. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
R said...

- For ease of reading: -



Seems

to

me

the

appropriate

person

to

argue

with

an3

is

our

dear

Zombie.

Harry said...

Mr. Spock!

Do

you

think

that,

when

we

achieve

liberation,

we

will

require

approval...

or

an

audience?

+ said...

(to convert the text into a poem just add an exclamation mark at the end)

Harry said...

!

++ said...

[- as in “yeah, yeah!”]

Harry said...

... and for Gordon's sake don't neglect spaces!

e.g.

"The penis mightier than the sword."

Excalibur said...

Who said that?

+++ said...

Blim blim, gu, a chu wa, - eeeee!!!

- Yeah, yeah. Me never wrong.

Upsidedownzombie ba! Ba ba! - eeeee!!!


eeeee!!!


eeeee!!!

Harry said...

John Holmes?

E said...

W&LwgyN.

+++ said...

- Now prove me wrong. [!]

Spock said...

Buddha did.

anon #108 said...

"John Holmes..."

"Width and length will get you nowhere..."

I geddit.

Anonymous said...

Bet you do.

An4more said...

An3caneatme

W&LwgyN said...

"The comments of each past individual are wholly irrelevant to the original intention of the National Master, and they do not accord with the fundamental teaching of the Buddha-Dharma. It is pitiful that the old drills of the past have each blundered on in error.".

Eihei said...

Geddit?

Excalibur said...

Eihei who?

wtf said...

Just drill, Exca. Just drill.

an3drew said...

they


ape


the


form


but


the


content


they


can't


touch !

an3drew said...

i'm


not


enlightened


or


i


am


enlightened


or


i'm


not




:



o



)

an3drew said...

about 6-0 none of you have addressed a single thing i have said !

except to ramble on like sleazy old farts, the truth of which you know of course @!

DimWit said...

Say something worth commenting on, whoops, I just did!

R said...

They don't ape the form, they mock at it.

And the content doesn't seem to be worthy of serious attention.

Just buzz off, be so kind as to enable us to thoroughly delight in your absence.

Geddit?

+ said...

- I don't think you fully comprehended the last "eeeee!!!".

Try reading it aloud to yourself as to fully penetrate the entire depth of its meaning.

(- You could first try with one exclamation mark, and then gradually add the other two; - but do try and be considerate of the neighbors, as they might be unable to fully appreciate your "artistic" ;) efforts)

burma shave said...

I

have

more

content

in

my

colon

after

a

three

day

flush

excuse me but… said...

the cartoon, 144,000 JWs will rule 'what' with Jesus/Micheal? Sorry for being a dumb wit, but if the rest of us heathens are going down, and the worlds a shambles an all, what they going to rule? Nothing?

Hurricane Linda said...

Wow, thanks for linking to my article! I was looking for you, and found you, and found me in you.