Monday, May 11, 2009

NEW SG ARTICLE: SA+0RI PR0N

My newest Suicide Girls article is up. It's called SA+0RI PR0N". And that's what it's all about!

Enjoy!

53 comments:

Harry said...

STRUT!!!!

Jinzang said...

In Tibetan Buddhism talking about your experiences is very much discouraged. You're told that it hurts your practice and doesn't help others. I think one reason so many people ask about satori is that they want to treat Zen as a technology. You go through a process and out pops the result. The problem with this attitude is that it's too detached, not intimate enough. It's like a scientist holding a test tube over a bunsen burner, when really practice is like you sitting in the test tube getting cooked.

Alphonzen said...

Tony parsons, some nondual dude, says that awakening is the realization that you are not actually the doer.

So, anything you actually do to get enlightenment will be all in vain because there is no seperate self to get enlightened.

The self is basically a programmed machine (genes, environs) that is powered by the universe.

Alphonzen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Hmm, satori porn (Philip Kapleau)
is pretty much indistinguishable
from drug porn (Carlos Castaneda).
The words describing the orgasm
are interchangeable; the only
difference is that one requires
zazen (or really good luck) and
the other requires illegal drugs.

You can keep your satori. I'd
rather have a million bucks and
"see myself as a concrete
expression of the will of
the universe"
that way.

BTW, nice SG article. Thanks.
And that's what it's all about!

Anonymous said...

brad's good at selling books. first he says that satori is nothing and screw the guys who hint they had it, then he hints about seeing good and life's mysteries, then he says he won't talk about it. sales job.

Uku said...

Hey man, great article! Satori, enlightenment, blaah. Shit happens and life continues.

Luigi on acid said...

Loved this from the bottom of the S.G. article:

Brad is currently looking for women to help him “do research” for his upcoming book about sex and Zen. He can be contacted directly for an appointment through this website!Damn Brad, other folks just put an ad on Craig's List or Adult Friend Finder.

Brad's talk about not talking about satori is alot like his continually reacting to posts in this comment section while proclaiming he doesn't actually read them. And since a great many of the old patriarchs spoke openly about their own satori experiences I guess they are all just bragging, deluded porn writers...including the Buddha himself.

Really? said...

luigi on acid referred to "[Brad] continually reacting to posts".

Well, Brad doesn't continually react to posts. In fact he very rarely reacts to posts. So we may all have to accept the sad, sorry fact that our love and devotion remains unrequited.

On the satori thing, however and FWIW, I agree that writing about the satori that you and the zen masters got, but most of us didn't yet got and may never get, but that don't matter if we got it or not is perhaps disingenuous, and very likely to confuse us way-seekers.

My advice to you, Brad - coz I know you read MY posts - is to stop writing about if it don't matter.

Mysterion said...

Satori -
Satori is another difficult word to translate. It is somewhat akin to bodhi - become awake or come to the point of self-understanding (from which self actualization grows).

Certainly, the element of un-learning is a key (e.g. beginner's mind).

"And these few precepts in thy memory:
Look thou character. Give thy thoughts no tongue,
Nor any unproportion'd thought his act.
Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar:
Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them unto thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatch'd, unfledg'd comrade. Beware
Of entrance to a quarrel; but being in,
Bear't that th' opposed may beware of thee.
Give every man thine ear, but few thy voice;
Take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgment.
Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy;
For the apparel oft proclaims the man,
And they in France of the best rank and station
Are most select and generous, chief in that.
Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all- to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man." - Fr. Bacon (e.g. Shake Spear)

grisom said...

Brad, your writing style seems to have changed a lot in the past while. I think I like it. Even though you're probably not reading this. :)

Jinzang: In Tibetan Buddhism talking about your experiences is very much discouraged. You're told that it hurts your practice and doesn't help others.

Interesting. I was thinking that today, actually—nobody even knows what you're talking about unless they've already had the same experience, so what's the point? I'm usually reluctant to discuss my practice with non-Buddhists for similar reasons.

On the other hand, I suspect it has been somewhat helpful to me to be able to recognize some of the things that have happened to me as being run-of-the-mill stuff that everybody goes through. Some of it might've been a little scary otherwise.

Anonymous said...

Shunryu Suzuki claimed to have never experienced satori and he didn't seem too bothered by it - a sign of true 'enlightenment' perhaps?

Alphonzen said...

Anonymous: don't compare suzuki to brad. Because brad is brad and suzuki is suzuki.

I prefer brad as a teacher, myself, but thats just me.

ooooooo?!

floating_abu said...

The more I read Brad, the less credibility he has.

This article has to take the cake. Selling satori like a pie in the sky, claiming it has to be via a certain way, saying he has nothing but contempt for any followers - including his own - here is a man who may have had an experience or two, but who is far from the realisation/actualisation of the Masters.

Brad can probably fit into the Zen consumers' market but he is no real teacher IMO. I think unfortunately he may be far more interested in money and fame than in genuinely helping others.

It's a sad situation for our school, but nothing new I guess.

With all respect and best wishes to Brad and his kin.

floating_abu said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
floating_abu said...

As Jinzang has quoted his teacher before - and Jinzang, correct me if I'm wrong -- "If someone asks me if their experience was enlightenment, I can say it is not"

That is the problem with Buddhists nowadays - a few experiences, satori, kensho, bang and then what's next? That's not Zen Buddhism in its entirety, not yet the truth of the matter. Experiences are fine and OK as encouragements but that's about it - practice needs to continue, ego is subtle. Unfortunately our mindset is influenced today a lot by the Western commercialisation in our brains - "And that's what it's all about". OK as a marketing gimmick for those who want to stay at that level but not enough for sincere Zen students willing to plumb the depths of our practice.

floating_abu said...

Anonymous: Shunryu Suzuki claimed to have never experienced satori and he didn't seem too bothered by it - a sign of true 'enlightenment' perhaps?I recall him saying that such things were not needed to be emphasised. He guided students to what would help them - which is invariably: practice. Good teachers with students' interests truly at heart are a real boon to our world, if perhaps a bit rarer.

_/\_

floating_abu said...

Jinzang: In Tibetan Buddhism talking about your experiences is very much discouraged. You're told that it hurts your practice and doesn't help others.
I would say that applies for Zen Buddhists as well.

Never mind said...

Floating_abu -

So Brad is not your cup of tea. Very good. You certainly don't share his sense of humour, and humour is a good thing, I'm sure you'll agree.

"Selling satori like a pie in the sky, claiming it has to be via a certain way..."

Where on this good earth did you get that from? And this:

"...saying he has nothing but contempt for any followers - including his own..."

See, that's called irony. He's making a point using an amusing rhetorical device. IMO, you have grasped the wrong end of the stick, with a vengeance.

I agree that talking/writing about enlightenment (experiences) is problematic, and perhaps best not done, but there is no doubt that Brad has brought a lot of people to Buddhism and zazen. That makes him a good teacher, no? I find it difficult - though I accept many do not - to doubt his simple and direct honesty. I guess you're looking for something fancier. Like REAL enlightenment.

...Before I go - this, from one of your comments, is pretty much what Brad IS saying about enlightenment:

"That is the problem with Buddhists nowadays - a few experiences, satori, kensho, bang and then what's next? That's not Zen Buddhism in its entirety, not yet the truth of the matter. Experiences are fine and OK as encouragements but that's about it - practice needs to continue..."

Strange that you didn't see that.

Anonymous said...

floating abs said:

"That is the problem with Buddhists nowadays"

From reading what the old masters wrote, it seems that 'twas ever thus.

PA said...

In Albert Low's Zen and the Sutras, he says, Satori or Enlightenment is never an experience because it's not something that happens inside the mind. It's of the mind. Something like that. It made sense when I read it anyway...

Alphonzen said...

I love Brad, because he always goes against the grain. He was against discussion of Kensho when people were going gaga over it, and now he is openly discussing it with esangha-ists being up in arms!

ITS HILARIOUS!

There is no such thing as holy sin. All these rules are in your head. And only in your head

Alphonzen said...

There are 2 types of zen buddhists, it seems. The dualists and non-dualists.

The dualists believe very strongly in right and wrong. They believe in polarities. They believe very strongly that the self exists and that everything must be done to become a nice self. A humble self. A wise self.

The non-dualists realize that this very moment is reality and there is no right and wrong, except for conventional norms.
The universe, they say, is 1 not 2.

Anonymous said...

Alphonzen - All these classifications are in your head. And only in your head.

Anonymous said...

Alphonzen, your first type of Zen Buddhist is attached to form. Your second is attached to emptiness.

So let's posit a third type, then: one who's attached to neither form nor emptiness.

Alphonzen said...

"Alphonzen, your first type of Zen Buddhist is attached to form. Your second is attached to emptiness.

So let's posit a third type, then: one who's attached to neither form nor emptiness."

Want to know the absolute truth?

Reality is empty and nondual. Want to know why?

Because there is no free will.

What are you? Genes + Environment.
Although you might believe very strongly in a seperate self, the truth is that everything that we call ourself is basically a continuation of an evolving universe.
We are not seperate.

Anyone who says otherwise is full of shit.

Ad hominem said...

Alphonzen -

You're very young. You're very arrogant. You're very angry. You think you've got it all figured. I know because I've read what you've written, here and elsewhere.

I only have one piece of advice, which you won't heed: Don't be so sure of your cocky non-seperate self. Anyone who has the arrogance to lecture anyone else on "the absolute truth" in quite the way that you do just has to be full of shit.

Mysterion said...

Want to know the absolute truth?

There is no absolute truth.

Words like true and false each have no meaning. In relation to each other, true and false take on meaning only by the failure of our perception. What is taken as true or false in one culture at one time may neither be true or false in another culture at another time. The universe in in a state of flux and, one day, Alphonzen will flux off.

Mumon said...

Largely of answered part of my question.

No offense, but I didn't read much of your books, for obvious reasons if you read my blog &c.

Anyway, good post

Alphonzen said...

Mysterion, your idea of absolute truth, is that there is no absolute truth. Thats the same bullshit.

floating_abu said...

Anonymous said: "That is the problem with Buddhists nowadays"

From reading what the old masters wrote, it seems that 'twas ever thus.
OK Good point.

Sincerely,
Abs

floating_abu said...

<"That is the problem with Buddhists nowadays - a few experiences, satori, kensho, bang and then what's next? That's not Zen Buddhism in its entirety, not yet the truth of the matter. Experiences are fine and OK as encouragements but that's about it - practice needs to continue..."

Strange that you didn't see that.>

It's true - I do not really follow Brad, so I did only skim his article.

I don't mean to disparage Brad as a teacher, and if I was wrong on my understanding, or comprehension, I apologise. It is true he is not so much to my taste, but I am very happy if Brad helps other people, and encourages anyone down the path of freedom, responsibility and compassion. As a guy, I like Brad and I wish him and his family all the best.

Best wishes.

floating_abu said...

Brad - if you are reading, I should also apologise directly for any arrogance on my part. Sorry :) and best wishes _/\_

Anonymous said...

You are an idiot abu.

Never mind said...

Floating - I believe in apologies.

To admit that you didn't read Brad's article, but - I guess - assumed what you thought it would most likely be about; and that you then decided to inform the world of your ill-considered view, is a noble thing to do.

Unless, of course, you're apologising merely to appear noble...in which case, the apology might compound the original error.

Oh, what a tangled web we weave...

Jinzang said...

The universe, they say, is 1 not 2.

Everything returns to the one. To what does the one return?

Jinzang said...

Want to know the absolute truth? Reality is empty and nondual. Want to know why? Because there is no free will.

Words, words, words.

Anonymous said...

There are no absolutes!

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ZenGirl said...

Every so often I poke my head back in here on the off chance that I've missed some beneficial discussion. And I haven't. It's the same tired "I know the absolute truth and you don't" / "I'm more nondual than thou" pissing contest for Dude-ists. Do any of you people ever sit zazen?

Alphonzen said...

"Do any of you people ever sit zazen?"

Whats zazen?

ZenGirl said...

"Whats zazen?"

Oh, my bad. Since you guys know the absolute truth, I guess everything you do is zazen. That clearly explains the need to out-sutra and out-realize each other and be so zen you no longer sit zazen. I hear there's a prize for the guy who dishes out the ultimate, complete and perfect "burn" on here. Keep tryin. Maybe it will happen, suckas.

Alphonzen said...

zengirl, I actually did an hour of zazen today and it was pretty good.

I merged with the cosmos at least 4 times. How many times did you merge?

Oh wait, I forgot, you are a n00b.

n00b is not a word in my dictionary, as I am an expert in zen.

I am the zen student you wish you were.

ZenGirl said...

LOL! (Wait, was he serious?)

What does your Zen teacher say when you tell him/her about your multiple cosmic mergings? How do you count that anyway?

Ad hominem said...

Zengirl -

Sadly, it's quite possible that young Alphonse IS serious. Even more disturbing, perhaps, if he believes he's being amusingly ironic. Either way, he enjoys the attention too much, methinks. Best perhaps to deprive him of it - in which effort I have singularly failed. I promise to try harder from now on.

Alphonzen said...

Ad hominen, Ironically, you are throwing more attention onto me by talking about me. "That alphonzen, so young, yet so awesome and enlightened."

This will be my last post since I have found a little corner in my basement where I can meditate for years like Bodhidharma.

Just because I've been enlightened several times, doesn't mean practice should end!

Anonymous said...

ZenGirl - his last teacher booted him to the kerb cos of his attitude, so yeah, he was probably being serious.

Alphonzen said...

He wasn't my teacher btw. If anything, I was the one teaching him.

Hes still learning the basics, that geezer. Bless him.

princess cathy said...

So many comments about satori porn here. Alas, there are still only 2 comments on the SG site itself. Yawn.
We are so underappreciated by master bradley.
sigh

Anonymous said...

"If anything, I was the one teaching him."

Yeah, just keep telling yourself that one. The more you brag about your so-called enlightenment, the less we believe it. And the more you say you don't care if we believe, the less we believe that too or you wouldn't need to have the last word all the time.

If you haven't sat any multi-day sesshins and have never really worked with a teacher, it's because you secretly know that a legit zen teacher would laugh in your face if you told them this stuff.

(Can we say "delusions of grandeur?")

Alphonzen said...

Anonymous, that cut deep man. I hope you are happy.

Anonymous said...

Shunryu Suzuki never had Satori, and neither did Richard Baker, his ONLY named Dharma successor.

The San Francisco Zen Center is a grand and self-serving bureaucracy, but it is founded on a dead branch. That is why it continues to spawn new practice centers, but never has produced an enlightened master.

Read D. Chadwick's Crooked Cucumber on the invalid manner in which Suzuki's own roshi status was attained in Japan.

Essentially Suzuki and his followers are dispensing Fox slobber.

Anonymous said...

I have written a book of pure hardcore sappy spiritual porn. Having found such both an inspiration AND a terrible obstruction in the sense of having wasted many many moments in stupid comparison.

Part of me is sickened by my own book, yet I also know I would have loved to find it on the book shelf

Lord knows Im the ultimate sap