Thursday, September 04, 2008

ZEN WRAPPED IN KARMA progress report

Check out this work of genius I scrawled on a Starbucks bag yesterday. I don't know if this gag has been done before. Seems like Gary Larson would have to have thought of it. Or somebody. Maybe this is the most common one-panel dinosaur gag in the history of one-panel dinosaur gags. Anyway here you have my version.

I also have a joke I made up. Here it is:

Q: What do you call someone who has sex exclusively with homeless people?
A: A hobosexual!

Let's see how many people comment about that one.

Anyway, I'm busy at work on the final edit of Zen Wrapped In Karma Dipped In Chocolate, my third book, which comes out from New World Library in February. This is the critical edit, the one I cannot change any further after it's been submitted. So I'm paying careful attention.

Which brings me to another rant I've always wanted to post. People sometimes ask me to make a list of my favorite Buddhist books. Problem is I don't read many Buddhist books. Most of the stuff on the shelves at the Buddhism section of the local Books-R-Us bore me to tears. I have a lot of reference books that I check when I'm writing. But most of those I don't read for fun.

One of the things that irks me about a great number of the books sharing shelf space with mine is that so many of the "authors" there don't actually write anything. They lecture and their students make tapes, then the students transcribe the master's words of wisdom and make them into a book. In some cases this is OK. Like when a teacher dies and students want to commemorate what she said. I also still like all of Shunryu Suzuki's books, which were made in this way. A few good books put together in this manner do manage to slip out. In these cases it's usually stated in the introduction that the book is the transcription of lectures.

But when someone makes a career out of "writing" this way and makes no effort to let folks know he's never actually sat down and written anything in his holy life... Well, let's just say I'm not impressed. These "writers" exist on the same level as airhead starlets who "write" their tell-all autobiographies by sitting next to their swimming pools and babbling into a tape recorder then letting a real writer turn it into something that they can make a zillion dollars on. Feh, I say! Feh!

Maybe I'm just cranky cuz I've been slaving over this thing for so long. And because I've worked so hard at making myself look like a shit-head in this book.

Back to work!

89 comments:

michael bardan said...

what, no, i must be obsessed again, i don't even have RSS feed, how is THIS possible?

michael bardan said...

anyhoo, woof-woof, z-dawg says:

LOLOLOLOLOLOROLFOOLOOLOLOOLOLLLLOL.

good drawing and good joke.

and you do have staying power, i mean first i ran into your stupid blog was roughly 2oo2.5 or so and YOU WERE SAYING THE SAME GODDAM THING:Z!

PhilBob-SquareHead said...

I've got a shelf of those books, including Brad's two, that were mainly purchased and read five years ago when I first became interested in zen. Anyone interested in my little collection? Would gladly trade them for books on science, skeptical inquiry, rock star biographies, comic strip collections. Just think, you might get "ENLIGHTENED"!!!

michael bardan said...

you are funny tho, but ONLY for the brief moments you let go of your teacher status.

and you cannot let go of it, because it won't let go of you for a while.

i'm really praying you make a boatload of money and hopefully FAST.

we'll see what awesome teachings you will impart then.

anyhoo, here's a FACT about T-Rex, it was a stupid, lame, scavenger beast, NOTHING like portrayed in the movies.

a goddam dog like you portrayed barking there, IN REALITY, would scare the fucking T-Rex into the darkest corners of the cave and have it only come out at night again, when maybe it would feed on DEAD CATS and one or two rotten hyena:z!

this is the problem with using humor as a defense mechanism.

it's very effective in nice, mellow, civilized societies like the US has become, where nothing can be questioned anymore, everything has to be politically correct and acceptable by all races and creeds, pretty much if you call someone's action STUPID, that's in court SEXUAL HARASSMENT.

anyhoo, get my point?

no?

look at your second part of the post.

all you do is whine about others making it in this world, while you remain a poor fuck, unable to pay for rent for 2 people [i give you this much, you have been able to pay for yourself, but even that, barely] and it's starting to get to you.

which is as it should be.

stop the bullshit about i'm not interested in building a sangha following, i'm not interested in this and that.

you ARE interested in lots of things, mostly getting some love just about now, at a time and no one in your fucking life is left to provide it.

where you gonna get that from, man?

your next suicide girl?

you gonna tough it out on the cushion while all you can do is sport through a 7 days sesshin with good circulation in between sitting?

bro, you ain't crashed AT ALL yet and when you do it will be stellar.

but hey, i'm sure you've got the smoggyrobs to prop you up or that ole lady who when i told her we've met before all she could think to hook me with was that she has a doctor's memory, really short.

she also had the messianic superior doctor smile associated with that, i'm sure she'll be able to nurture you back to health, if she can play bell ringer for you, everything is possible.

anyhoo, blah, blah, i know, justin says don't i have better stuff to DO with my TIME?

no, bro.

and why?

because i do not do and there is no time.

i LIVE that. YOU, on the other hand, have maybe TASTED it.

i wouldn't fukken know, because i'd never dream of being in the business of validating people's answer to the simple question:

AM I SUFFERING?

if YES,

GET THE FUCK BACK ON THE CUSHION.

if NO,

GET THE FUCK BACK ON THE CUSHION.

what ELSE could there possibly be for you to DO?

Anonymous said...

mccain looks like the mummy, i take that back, IS the mummy.

now, step the fuck away from the alaska griZZly disguised into a long legged playboy spread and let romney show her how it's done!

THEN i will CHANGE my goddam vote back to ole elephantine party.

as it is, i'm stickin' it out with dr. dre!

asshole:z~~~~~~~~

ps: viet'kong's official statement: who the fuck wants to vote into a office a moron who can't fly a plane right and then uses that as a LOOKAT ME WHAT HEROIX I PULLED because i resisted TORTURE (which i hear he has NOT), man do i wanna vote for some guy who was reeducated by people born from Dragon fucking a Phoenix bird?

HAVE YER GUYS LOST ALL YER COOKIE:Z?

in bruges said...

you never watch what i tell you!

transpot this! said...

!

train wrecks said...

& tonka truck:z!

colin farrell said...

michael bardan is a real bad boy!

brian griffin on colin farrell said...

pull the wool cap down and cover your sideburn:z!

the counter said...

google it now! retard:z!

a fukken russian and a chinese running ALL YOUR SEARCHES.

you will remember when bill gates told you to use LIVE!

zen.tv said...

find it on TV!

jagger richards duet said...

rewriting lyrix is a nice pastime.

try redoing this one, you've gots "talent"

Anonymous said...

I'm 2/3 of the way through my first novel and it is lonely, agonizing work. I don't think I'll ever read a book with a ghost writer again. Sorry Pamela Anderson and Slash...

search for self called off after 38 years said...

thx for the inspiration phillymusestakesquarepant:z!

courtesy cutNpaste for ADHD blessed soul:z said...

CHICAGO—The longtime search for self conducted by area man Andrew Speth was called off this week, the 38-year-old said Monday.
Enlarge Image Search For Self Called Off After 38 Years

Speth sets out on a new life, moments after announcing the end of his search.

"I always thought that if I kept searching and exploring, I'd discover who I truly was," said Speth from his Wrigleyville efficiency. "Well, I looked deep into the innermost recesses of my soul, I plumbed the depths of my subconscious, and you know what I found? An empty, windowless room the size of an aircraft hangar. From now on, if anybody needs me, I'll be sprawled out on this couch drinking black-cherry soda and watching Law & Order like everybody else."

"Fuck it," he added.

Speth said he began his search for himself in the late '70s, when in junior high he "realized that there was more to life than what [he] could see from [his] parents' Dundee, IL home."

The search initially showed great promise, with Speth's early discovery of his uncle's old Doors records and a copy of The Catcher In The Rye. Over the next two decades, however, the "leads just petered out." Although Speth searched in a wide variety of places—including the I Ching, a tantric-sex manual, and a course in chakrology—he uncovered nothing.

"My family and friends kept telling me to give up," Speth said. "But I couldn't believe that my true self was forever lost."

Speth was dogged in his pursuit, sacrificing his higher education, bank account, social status, and personal esteem. Despite the rising costs and mounting adversity, he vowed he would never give up his search—until now.

"I can't believe how many creative-writing courses I've taken, how many expensive sessions with every conceivable type of therapist," Speth said. "All that time—a whole life—wasted on a wild-goose chase."

steady on, last page here, promise! said...

Since calling off the search, Speth has canceled his yoga classes, turned in his organic co-op membership card, and withdrawn plans to go on a sweat-lodge retreat in Saskatchewan. On Tuesday afternoon, he loaded books by such diverse authors as Ludwig Wittgenstein, Meister Eckhart, and George Gurdjieff into a box labeled "free shit," and left it outside of his apartment beside a trash can.
Enlarge Image Search For Self Called Off After 38 Years

Speth tours Prague in 1991 at the height of his search.

"The only books I'll be reading from now on are ones that happen to catch my eye in the supermarket checkout line on the few occasions I leave my apartment to buy more Fig Newtons," Speth said.

Speth said he will no longer lament his coding job at Eagle Client Services, but will rather "embrace the fact that I have a job that makes enough money to pay for cable." Additionally, Speth has vowed to marry "the first woman who will have me, whether I love her or not."

"Oh, and if I never throw another goddamn clay pot in my life, it'll be too soon," he added.

Though hardened and haggard from his long search, Speth expressed relief that it was over. Asked if he had any advice for those who are continuing on their own searches, Speth had two words of advice: "Give up."

"Trust me—there's nothing out there for you to find," Speth said. "You're wasting your life. The sooner you realize you have no self to discover, the sooner you can get on with what's truly important: celebrity magazines, snack foods, and Internet porn."

PageDown said...

they ate me zlog!

michael bardan said...

notice how Internet Porn was the last thing on Speth's newly realized agenda!

braddy-chan must be grinnin right about now, he truly is the New Porn Buddha of the Countless Chiliocosm:Z!

BLOG WRAPPED IN SHIT said...

i'm the only 1 who still loves you.

very bad wulad said...

... but you already knew that. Why? The reasons are many, but the specific thing that's got me flogging myself to sleep each night lately is the fact that several months ago, I humbly asked my readers to return to the golden shores of WULAD, while promising to resume regular posting of the sort of high-quality prose you've come to expect (in between long stretches of inactivity).

And for a few weeks, it worked--I was able to balance the requirements of my day job as a secret agent and freelance assassin with my other comedic commitments (such as this, this, this, and sometimes even this), while still saving up enough creative juice to crap out a WULAD-exclusive post about how awful California bagels are or why we should all vote for Lyndon LaRouche.

But maintaining this balance became more and more difficult as the days wore on, and posts here became more and more likely to consist of a short blurb, a handful of excuses, and links to all my other (occasionally paid) jokin'-nuggets from around the web. And eventually even those clip-show posts trickled down to nothing. For that, I do apologize, from the bottom of my black, black heart. (How black is it? Let's just say that the reason you're not reading a hilarious list of the funniest moments in Heath Ledger's corpse-wheeling video is that the poor guy was just too boring for me to come up with anything good.)

Anyway, the combination of the factors listed above, the fact that I'm about to take a 3-month sabbatical from "the Company" to focus on other pursuits, and my general sense of being burnt out on "writing about stupid shit" (as I told Glayne Stonewad), means that your friendly webnorhood WULAD will unfortunately be going back into creative deep-freeze until at least May. We'll see how I feel then--it's possible my satirical batteries will have been completely recharged, and I'll be raring to get my nose back to the blogging wheel. It's also possible I'll plant high-powered metaphorical explosives on said wheel and blow it to smithereens along with all the floppy vestiges of my blog "career." I honestly don't know.

michael bardan said...

me neither!

jay unfunny leno said...

my dad says when the writers were on strike, this fuck was as unfunny as a sicilian trying to scratch a yakuza monk on the back.

fiction, fact, you be THE judge.

proulx michel said...

I am cleaning the chip:z off my wool sweater!

Else the Mu-Dog will skin my stupid hairless cat!

dulcinea said...

~

dulcinea said...

Racism.

Anonymous said...

do you notice at the end of the clip at least if not throughout the way mc solaar can open and close his energy gate:z?

if not, go ask hippo master mikey_etsch to teach you how to open and close a joint, if you can't fucking buy a $20 DVD from energygates.com or you can't bring yourself to beg michael bardan to ftp you a bootlegged ripped version.

michael bardan said...

!!!! LUNCH BREAK EVERYBODY !!!!

take 1.5 hours, it's on teh termin8

OR

proulx michel said...

Feat. MC Solaar.

parasitic dharma transmission said...

will translate lyrix for you later this afternoon after i eat as part of "even the street has more wisdom than braddy|proulx transmitted nishijima:z!"

buddhanature in amsterdam said...

oh, hear master brad's HUGE SHPIEL against people thinkin' he's down with the drugged path to kensho.

yeh, man, you're really popular. people round the world over have heard your shit and you're really popular. did i say that before. you're way popular.

go fucking volunteer for red army for a day, let's see how great your sesshin sport practice lasts you then!

sit through this 1, then bitch/whine! said...

yah, man, that cushion and the internet troll:z are FUKKEN HUGE PROBLEMS, MAN, THEY NEED YOU TO FIX 'EM!

ultimate losers taking refuge in sitting is what 99.9% of youse are!

i pee in your begging bowl.

michael bardan said...

Be Ready!

(a bow down to rewriting lyrix, by translating from another language)

Democracy is Controlled Chaos
Get it thru yo Head
The Greenback rules the Ruling Party
You're controlled...

Freedom you can steal
in small moments of happiness
when you can afford to RELAX.

To die for your country,
Children stories,
Find something for which
it's worth living!

The fools die for ideas of the smart,
and there are no people 100% right.
The rich ignore the shoeless poor,
Learn to LISTEN!

Don't look down upon the poor but cultured.

If you succeed they'll look at you with admiration and hate,
Envied for your fuckable woman, Dulcinea.

Laws are only for the common man
and this won't change any time soon,
Try to believe my w0rd:

You can't force a person to like you,
If you're not welcome, leave (hint, hint),
Any "final" evil has to pass,
If people can be dogs when it comes to what's theirs,
Pay attention, don't get indebted to heirs.

You can be fucked over by the closest to you,
You can be betrayed by the whore you share your bed with, foo,
If you ask for support from those that are cowards,
It's the same as looking for fame in platinum records.

Be ready to make mistakes,
Be ready to hate,
But with mental detachment,
You can be strong.

{chorus x2}

Be prepared to insult,
Be prepared to lie,
Truth is subjective,
Like what you spit between clenched teeth.

Be ready to die,
Poor,
Then have,
Then fall,
To have nothing to take,
To give,
So they all like you,
Be ready to face mountains of hate,
Have the power to smile seeing your parents grow gray,

When nothing goes or all goes wrong,
Without words learn to walk ahead through.

Respect your close friend, or not,

BE YOU,

NOT SOMETHING OTHERS WANT YOU TO,

Respect the laws, or not,

Be ready to be surprised
Unexpectedly by life,
Your wife and your children,
Write 'em off to death too.

Your so called friends will judge you in your absence
and they'll turn their backs on you when you have your hand on the cunt.

Be ready to be hated and despised
When you have the power to do something truly right!

Don't let yourself be driven,
You have nothing to confess,
You have one chance in life,
Face it squarely and profit!

Pain you don't feel,
Love and appreciation you don't feel,
when everything in this world
can be reduced to financial wealth.

I await to be hit
I await smiling
For everything I've seen till now
Made me ready.

{repeat chorus x2}

be ready said...

for the retarded r0manian parasite!

michael bardan said...

FUCK! I AM IN LOVE WITH THE KILLA FROM WASILLA'S BRAIN:Z!

SHIT!

I'M LOOPIN:G!

michael bardan said...

i'm too short for her legs, realistically, or i'd be in love with her legs too and then i'd consider marrying her 17 year old pregnant daughter once election passes and the boyfriend takes a much needed permanent hike.

hey, do they have elections up in the SOTO party or whatever?

i'd love to see braddy-chan v jundo on UFC pay-per-view whatevah.

let's see their vice presidents, dulcinea?

oh wait, they have none anymore?

sorry for assuming what i don't know about jundo.leaf.

Anonymous said...

sorry, bran, but paul westerberg alter-ego "Grandpaboy" recorded "homeless sexual" on the first grandpaboy ep released in 1997.

"yeah, i'm making out with squirrels..."

dick cheney said...

i fucked this country over, not retarded george, so please accept my sincerest apologies (and bypassed heart offering), sarah palin will redeem my name and unfuck US all.

so help you polar bear!

bookmark said...

you ask if this is my blog?

no.

it's my fucking favorites.html mozilla.

trooly,
firefox

zen.ro said...

yeh man, you're so speshial with your fukken kanji and omg you know how to zorro yourself around dharma terms and sanskrit bullshit?

i'm impressed.

NOTHING STILL YOU CAN SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, EXCEPT QUOTE FUKKEN WORDS IN OTHER LANGUAGES, BECAUSE IT SOUNDS ALL SO SPECIAL.

everybody out there is angry for humbly pointing out what a big fucking loser you are for looking east for wisdom when you were born west and vice versa.

LOOK IN FRONT OF YOU, ASSHOLE.

open your eyes,
like vanilla sky

only he plagiarized that movie from abra les ojo:z, neh?

nuttin new in this sector, horza!

Lone Wolf said...

Go the creative jucies flowing ehh?

bad joke (straight up roninglish) said...

hip hop bizarre
sounds dirty and vulgar
100% exclusive
for whoever can perceive.

we can accentuate it all through english as well!

creative juices said...

I am a bona fide retard and we're all Borat where I'm from.

michael bardan @ 11 said...

...

qbitty said...

it's hard to unwind this ball of yarn sometime:z but he's done for today, keep your fingers crossed >:P

michael bardan wannabee said...

if you wanna be me be me
and all that harold and maude shit.

r0manian suicide girls said...

we give a shit about you, pornozilla!

whatchu gonna do, blow us in the lotus?

back in black (palin v ritalin) said...

so much for that love affair.

lasted all of 5.8 minute:z!

Alaska And Gov. Sarah Palin Sued Over Drugging Kids

A lawsuit was filed yesterday in an Alaska superior court seeking to stop the de facto forced medication of children under the state's care (foster kids, juvenile detainees) and children covered under state health programs with psychiatric medications. Named as defendants were the State of Alaska, Gov. Sarah Palin and a host of officials with various state agencies. The suit was filed by Psych Rights, the Alaska-based mental health law project, which has vigorously fought the forced drugging of adults in the state's psychiatric hospital. Jim Gottstein, the president of the group, was instrumental two years ago in ensuring that the leaked Zyprexa court documents reached the public. A press release from Psych Rights can be found here.

The lawsuit is sweeping and seeks to go after the age-old practice of giving psych meds to children and teens in the custody or care of various state programs, at times without the knowledge of the children's parents (if there are any) and without the informed consent of the child or teen. Gottstein argues in his filing (2.2 MB .pdf here) that such practices violate the constitutional rights of children. I'm not going to put on a law class here (to the degree that I could), but here are some snippets from the suit.

Gottstein wrote to Gov. Palin in February 2008:

"It is a huge betrayal of trust for the State to take custody of children and youth and then subject them to such harmful, often life-ruining, drugs. They have almost always already been subjected to abuse or otherwise had very difficult lives before the State assumes custody, and then saddles them with a mental illness diagnosis and drugs them. The extent of this State inflicted child abuse is an emergency and should be corrected immediately. Children and youth are virtually always forced to take these drugs because, with rare exception, it is not their choice. PsychRights believes the children and youth, themselves, have the legal right to not be subject to such harmful treatment at the hands of the State of Alaska. We are therefore evaluating what legal remedies might be available to them. However, instead of going down that route, it would be my great preference to be able to work together to solve this problem. It is for this reason that I am reaching out to you again on this issue."

Gottstein got a mealy-mouthed answer to this letter from an agency head, but there's no indication that Palin, who is Sen. John McCain's vice-presidential choice and quite the advocate for families, ever saw the letter. There was no response from her office. I'm not criticizing Palin, but am simply noting the irony that she's named in this lawsuit given her sudden emergence on the national political scene.

In his filing, Gottstein notes that over 4,500 Alaska children and teens were being given various psych meds under the state's Medicaid program.

Among other things, the suit cites problems with the FDA approval process, the influence of drug companies upon prescribing practices, the lack of safety and efficacy research on psych meds in children (the vast majority of trials are done in adults), and the troubles with anti-depressants, antipsychotics, stimulants and anti-seizure drugs used in children as part of the basis for the lawsuit. The lawsuit asks the court to a "declaratory judgment that Alaskan children and youth have the constitutional and statutory right not to be administered psychotropic drugs unless and
until":

"[E]vidence based psychosocial interventions have been exhausted, rationally anticipated benefits of psychotropic drug treatment outweigh the risks, the person or entity authorizing administration of the drug(s) is fully informed, and close monitoring of, and appropriate means of responding to, treatment emergent effects are in place."

This is a highly original and potentially landmark case. It will be interesting to see where it winds up.

I've written about Gottstein winning a landmark ruling regarding forced medication of adults here.

Jinzang said...

46 of 48 posts by Mikey B. Feeling a little manic these days?

Here's Hobo Humping Slobo Babe for all you hobosexuals out there.

grisom said...

Is anyone else hoping REALLY HARD that that bag photo becomes the cover of the new book? 'Cause I know I am.

Anonymous said...

loved the drawing--it's a keeper!

so glad you finally put that joke of yours out there, now I can tell it, since you're fully credited for it.

hope things are going well for you, (no young buddhists event to attend means more time for drawing?)

hope your trip to Japan is thoroughly enjoyable and that you get to catch up with people, places and things you've missed since your return to the good ol' u s of a.

Anonymous said...

jinzang, would you like me to fly to the east coast just to shake your Godly Diagnosing Hand?

since all big pharma is headquartered there, I bet I can make a stopover just for you.

then you can let all your arrogant all-knowing friends how manic maniac michael Bardan truly is, like your smoggyrob did when you so knowledgeably diagnosed me last time.

3rd time I say, it is because of holy arrogant judgmental cretins like you, that our kids get locked up, drugged out of their minds on cement floors.

fret not, your judgments are going to be reflected nicely right back, by the very non-defiled mirror you strive to aprehend.

as they say, the joke is of cosmic proportions and it's on you.

proulx michel said...

Just as I wrote previously:

When you've got a "Who is like God?" Burdock stuck into your sweater, there's no getting rid of it...

The Diagnosis said...

Get back on meds (change prescription?)
Stop being in denial about bipolarity
Stop deluding self about being 'enlightened'
Realise commenting obsession is unhealthy
Realise Zen obsession is unhealthy
Realise negative/hostile behaviour is unhealthy
Get life on track
Job security
Stable relationships
A pig in a cage on antibiotics

me said...

It's true Michael, for all your anti psych drug talk, you're not exactly a poster child for coping with mental illness successfully without drugs.

Anonymous said...

come now, what is successful, but what you deem it to be? mentality exists along a spectrum. My brother is 'undefined', or considered 'slow' or 'learning disabled'. But we talk totally on the level. The way he repeats things over and over sometimes bugs me, and I'm sure he is irked by some of my 'normal' mental habits, like my impatience with him. We just orbit different bandwiths of the spectrum of mental energy.

Still waiting for Bardan's book said...

I've noticed a pattern:

Brad mentions publishing => Bardan goes on a rampage.

When I was 12 I thought I was a great writer. It drove me nuts that people I thought were so less talented than me were publishing books. Then I turned 13 and got over it.

Anonymous said...

[Sunrise] => Bardan goes on a rampage.

[Sunset] => Bardan goes on a rampage.

[A-Non-Bardan-Post] => Bardan goes on a rampage.

[Brad Posts] => Bardan goes on a rampage.

Let's not over-complicate things.

David helfgott said...

Please watch the movie Shine. Thank you.

me said...

come now, what is successful, but what you deem it to be? mentality exists along a spectrum. My brother is 'undefined', or considered 'slow' or 'learning disabled'. But we talk totally on the level. The way he repeats things over and over sometimes bugs me, and I'm sure he is irked by some of my 'normal' mental habits, like my impatience with him. We just orbit different bandwiths of the spectrum of mental energy.



BEING STUPID AND BEING CRAZY ARE TOO VERY DIFFERENT THINGS

me said...

TWO

me said...

If Brad really isn't reading these comments then that adds a whole new level of sadness to Michael's bleatings.

Anonymous said...

oh me, that TOO/TWO slip rreally was a funny one :-)

michael bardan v alaska said...

entered into this Court of Blog, today, transsappiently uplinked via Cygnus-X1.

*begin hacked personal message from mbardan@yahoo.com / read LIFO:

>>>

JP, you should be hired as Sarah's debate / personal trainer. Like Madonna's story, you will then be able to father Neo.

I love Sarah like a mad Iditarod dog and want her to be President now, not 8 years in the future.

Nor 4, which will likely be the case. Took her another try to Governator too.

mB)

PS: Little known facts about me:

US sold California back to Mexico (for 1 AMERO) because I do not submit to autocracy, snakes climbing up staffs, and Time.

Einstein resigned when the Mayan calendar surrendered Humanity's flag and my daughter will be born FREE.

Not the free Americans define in their English dictionaries.


On Sep 5, 2008, at 12:00 AM @gci.net, @alaska.gov> wrote:

> Some little known Sarah Palin facts:
>
> Sarah Palin will give birth to the man who will lead humanity’s war against the machines.
>
> Sarah Palin knows how old the Chinese gymnasts are.
>
> Sarah Palin is allowed first dibs on Alaskan wolfpack kills.
>
> The Russians sold Alaska to America because Sarah Palin would not submit to autocracy.
>
> Sarah Palin became governor because five children left her with too much spare energy.
>
> Sarah Palin will send Biden a pre-debate cheat sheet. The sheet will have tips on defending against Kung Fu Death Grip.
>
> Me: Just thought these would help fill in some gaps.
> - Jonathan
>
> PS. Sorry, I know nothing about the "drugging kids" issue.
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Mike Bardan
> To: @alaska.gov
> Subject: everybody welcome dr. bardan into the republican fold
>
> we all may remember what an ardent democrat she was back in the day of no dollar to her name, don't we?
>
> and before my love affair with sarah ends abruptly, can anyone make her CLEARLY STATE HER POSITION on this issue?
>
> >>> re: http://www.adn.com/2839/story/151514.html
>
> Alaska And Gov. Sarah Palin Sued Over Drugging Kids

*end transsappient transmission

michael bardan said...

oh, wait, she WILL be President, because the fukken mummy will croak the minute they crown him.

funny shi7.

qbitty said...

yo, dawg:z,

they be diagnosin' mikey killa from wasilla bee now.

hoot-hoot

meeeeeeeeOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW (that's 8 inverted OM:z, assholes, if you STILL can't see 'em even as they be smackin' you str8 up in Teh Nose!-)

monson said...

I agree that the books that really are edited collections of talks should be clearly labeled that way. These books are just a different genre than ones that the author created after facing hundreds of blank pages.

Anonymous said...

A Zen student speaking of patterns.

Wow.

What's next?

A book "The Science of Zen" by Ven. Brad Warner?

michael bardan said...

Einstein defined "crazy" as repeating the same behavior and expecting different results.

The ardent Zen student keeps sitting on a cushion, somehow expecting they will end their suffering that way.

Therefore to practice Zen with expectations other than when you sit, you actually sit and that's it = CRAZY.

Q.E.D.

qbitty said...

The psychiatric establishment (the United States Pharmacracy), disconnected from Law and Religion, trying to establish themselves on top of both, has decreed:

The Axioms of Psychiatry:

1. When we say you are crazy, we will medicate you into submission.

2. We use date rape drugs to get your consent.

3. We use billions in marketing and PR to prove anyone who disagrees with us is crazy, therefore well deserving of 1.

Corollary: You, citizen of the Land of the Free, can do NOTHING about that, because we are above Law and above God and when we say you are crazy, you have no rights. Not even human rights. We can and will strip you of those too.

Q.E.D.

Try fighting folks your own size, such as Mikey Bee above.

michael bardan said...

My purpose [and hidden agenda] at this stage in my evolution is to get the above qbitty PSA printed as Introduction and Acknowledgments page to the DSM V when and if it gets published.

If that is not possible, then at least printed in every major newspaper and broadcast regularly in TV PSAs and, of course, the de riguer SuperBowl commercial.

Thank you for your support.

coup de grace said...

proulx, go ahead and put the correct accent on that spelling, please.

michael bardan said...

Dear Venerable Brad Warner:

Please get the above qbitty PSA on CNN.

I am emailing it to you.

Thank you,
Michael Bardan, AS, BA, MSBA
OS Analyst, UCO, SDSU - "Minds that Move Worlds"

translation said...

"MOve WOrld:Z"

backwards OM + inverted OM = fool CIRCLE

romanian english dictionary said...

OM = MAN

Anonymous said...

Be a Man!

Anonymous said...

I Am

Mark said...

There are some really messed up people posting in the comments section here. Lots of people off their medication and getting all up in Brad's business. Sheesh. No wonder Brad doesn't spend much time reading the comments. 90% of what's being posted is like reading Finnegan's Wake.

Mark

Skeptical Reader said...

I would be more impressed if Brad wrote a review of Joko Beck's books, but I suppose it is easier to just blog the usual ad hominem attack on another teacher.

Rich said...

Michael Bardan, AS, BA, MSBA
OS Analyst, UCO, SDSU - "Minds that Move Worlds = Not Moving Mind"

michael,bardan said...

Eine Kleine Mickey Maus, zog sich mal die Hose aus, zog sie wieder an und du bist dran...hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Nobody gets it! hahahahahahahahah

Zen Wrapped In Karma Dipped in Chocolate said...

Here's where the book title originated:

http://tinyurl.com/6hjwlv

Jinzang said...

This looks to be the results of the study of Zen meditation that Brad took part in. The not too surprising conclusion is the long term meditators (more than three years) have less mental chatter than ordinary folks. But they used a multi-million dollar machine to show it, so that makes it scientific.

Anonymous said...

I hope he got Yoplait's permission or his meager royalties and more will go into yogurt making.

Anonymous said...

Mikey Bardan, Scientologist?

proulx michel said...

michael,bardan said...

Eine Kleine Mickey Maus, zog sich mal die Hose aus, zog sie wieder an und du bist dran...
Nobody gets it!


Wie du wärst die einzige Persone hier, die könnte Deutsch verstehen...

J-pop vs. Metal said...

I think "Hobosexual" was a NOFX song.

pete davies said...

loving the cover on amazon
couldn't help myself and pre-ordered..on the basis of the cover alone
happy editing
pete

www.tabletpc-shop.info said...

So, I don't actually believe this will have effect.