Friday, September 05, 2008

TREATING LIGHT THINGS AS IF THEY'RE HEAVY

Zazen tomorrow at Hill Street Center. Details are in the links to your left. Don't forget to bring a crisp new $5 bill with you. The rent I'm paying to host these things ain't gettin' paid in good vibes!

When I was at the Great Sky Sesshin last month, my friend Greg Fain, from the San Francisco Zen Center, and I got assigned a job during work period to plane off a 1/4 inch of the bottom of a door so it would shut easier. While the two of us were carrying the door down the hill to the workshop, Greg made a mocking show of it being really heavy, which it wasn't. Then he said, "Dogen said we should treat light things as if they're heavy!"

I'm not sure exactly where that quote comes from. But it means to treat everything like it has great value, no matter what it is. When you're carrying a bag of trash out to the dumpster you should treat it like it's full of precious antique china. Don't read the paper while you eat, it's insulting to your food. That attitude. This is Buddhist morality.

I'm working on my book now and I came across the following passage. I don't like quoting myself because that's insufferably pretentious. But since some of you have e-mailed and asked to see previews of the book, I'll offer it for what it's worth:

The Middle Way was not some kind of spiritual path designed to make us all holy with shiny pink haloes on our noggins. It was a way to live a life that wasn’t a piece of shit. It was a way to find happiness and stability in an unhappy and unstable world. That’s really all any of us are looking for, when it comes down to it. The stability of the Middle Way comes in our practice of zazen, which is the actual physical and mental practice of stability and happiness. A bit of zazen in the morning and a bit in the evening radiates throughout the rest of the day and night and makes everything better. That’s all there is to it.

Morality is an important part of finding real happiness because we are all interconnected. I can’t be happy if I make the people around me miserable under the mistaken impression that their misery is not intimately connected with mine. So if I don’t want to be miserable I need to behave morally toward everyone I encounter. In Buddhism behaving morally doesn't mean following some fixed code of conduct. It means being careful.

But another aspect of Buddhist morality is that you have to do your part. You’re not here just for yourself. You’re here for everyone and everything you encounter. Your role is to do and say the things that need to be done and said from your unique perspective. God is too far removed from the universe to see himself clearly without splitting himself into a bazillion eyes and ears that watch over all aspects of himself. Whatever perspective you have is the most valuable thing in the universe. You need to be fully yourself. At the same time, you need to completely forget any idea you have about yourself. Or, if you can’t forget it, at least ignore it, secure in the knowledge that whatever you think you are isn’t what you really are.


Don't really know why but that seemed to resonate this evening.

See you all tomorrow!

64 comments:

michael bardan said...

do i look like some religion or any1 can recruit me?

Anonymous said...

well said brad!!!!

offthemeatrack said...

that excerpt was great...very informative but simple and to the point.

Looking forward to the book.

James Dobson said...

Turn that frown upside, Michael Bardan!!1! Jesus loves you!
Try not being such a mierable, self-centered, blog-hogging cunt. You might like it! :)

cyclingdave said...

perhaps the most critical part of the dharma and well put.

thanks

Cocksucker Wu said...

I think I just did a bit of sex piss when I read that.

Can't wat for the new book. I know I shouldn't cling to ideas and all that but I really enjoy your books :)

Rich said...

Brad, your writing rings true and inspires. When you are ready, please record your dharma talks and link them from here or your website.

michael bardan said...

Dear Retarded Zen Student:

What possible use might your Teacher have of your Empty Praise?

Do you not see how your words of appreciation or derisiveness addressed Him are drops of rain on an Impermeable Rubber T-Rex suit?

Do you not understand when you post as an anonymous, lowly fuck, that when I reply to you and point out to you how vile your innards are that reply will haunt you into Eternity?

Must you be so Daft to actually provoke your Teacher and I at once?

Good luck to you and your quest of sparring Zen style.

mB) (by the way, if you wonder what that sig means, it means you can kiss little michael's Ass!-)

TeeHee, New Agey Suicide Girl, before you die, try and kiss IT too, it tastes like watermelon run over by Ant:Z!

sherlock blogholme:z said...

yo checkity check yaselves b4 you wreck yaselve:z

i did some investigation of my own and check it man, turns out z-dawg was writing sick propaganda since 2oo2, omg, and like if you go to archive.org it's liek hayzooz we can demonstrate that he's the antichrist.

lissn' up yo, here's my prediction, i predict not only as i predicted like about 1 month before i piled up all this "BLOG EVIDENCE" against his vile ass that not only can i make it to where he loses his job, but like check it, i can make it where neo in the upcoming "the earth stood still" will be like godzilla rubber suit compared to the vileness and like omg evilness against mother earth bless her tired soul, let's save the ocean:z!

anyway, here's my proof, it was very hard to get man, like i had to google and shit. bow down to my computer prowess, i mean i even know how to grep a computer log, i'm way smart and can type 2 words in a row at the interval of 10 minutes without misspelling the same way.

shit, here it is guys, here it is:

2003-06-05 - 8:03 p.m.

> human trait <

taken as a whole, i've
observed that the human
race cannot accept when
it cannot kill something.

if they cannot kill something,
that must mean their free will
is taken away. therefore, you
better allow people to kill you

rather sooner and definitely
or else they will make it a
top priority and will not rest
until this lil thinghie dies.

perhaps that is the only way
to unite this goddam shithole,
i challenge y'all to kill
homer simpson!!!! you can't?

fuckin losers! do not rest
until homey simpson is dead
with a conclusive autopsy
report that shows not only

how, but how long it took
and how feasible it was.
peoples of the planetooid
Earth, UNITE behind the

slaughtering of public enemy
numero uno, Homer J. Simpson,
because you're not just proving
you can kill Homer, no sirreee

bobby, you actually prove that
you kill the Jay and the DOT
as well. People of the Earth,
when you accomplish this task

satisfactorily, then and only
then will you be worthy of the
vogon yellow piss and you shall
rejoice in swallowing it raw

live & direct from the blue skies.
haha, relax, i'm just preparing
for the jay leno show tonite, i'm
thinking jay will use some of my

sicko material, you know, i do
possess speshial humor glands
with which i can enable Homer
(Simpson) evade your detection,

decompilation, and any other
form of unwanted flattery that
you wish to bestow upon his
legendary bear belly & ass too.

well, my friends, if you've labeled
me as the mike now, i do have to
give voice to the bad, the ugly
the opressed, the rich, the ones
you labeled whores & bitches and
when i keep saying labeled, it
means you never asked them if they
concurred, you never asked them if
they had a good reason against the
labeling, no, you fucking slapped
their faces, kicked their shins
labeled them and processed them,
serially and in bulk and always
"for their own benefit" and self
progress and shit, i gots to give
my mike to them i gots to let them
make me their keyboard and tell you,
tell you all that that's how it's
been and that's how it won't be
for long, because now i'm the mike
and i have to yell what everyone
feels like fuckin yellin thru my
ass, so i do what a keyboard does,
it doesn't bitch when you hit it
hard, it says thank you if you
keep slamming ESC and CTRLALTDEL
it does what keyboards do, they
don't give a fuck what your nasty
fingers do and how much slime they
leave behind on the keys, they just
keep thanking you for broadcasting
all your words to whoever wants to
read them, that's where the hate
comes from my friends, not from me,
but from those who you've been riding
for so long and they lived in fear
and constant terror, so now they
made me their mike and there you
have it, it's what they think of
your riding. so ride my mike and
my keyboard darlings, tell everyone
about your love for all that's life
and all that's pretty in z world.

i'm not hearing much and if i hear
i promise to tell all and btw, do
tell me, that's the quickest, for
i can't ride & i can't read minds.

i'm a crippled monkey, yes?
<<<

i'm telling you guys, straight from the google mouth, this guy is antichrist. he's 666in' our zen "practice" he's tryin' to destabilize the power grid with an iPhone at the beach.

EVERYBODY PANIC!

ps: he's a miserable fuck too, like one time, at band camp, his filthy rich wife dumped his ass, just like your filthy poor wife of your Teacher dumped His Holy Ass.

pps: that's why he's so miserable, man, because like in a previous life, he was liek, even like MORE MISERABLE, because shit man, you know like KARMA right and theory and shit, it says the MORE miserable, the MORE you like like you know MISERABLE, company and shit? right? okay well you see then it makes total sense, right my bitches, right? bow down, bitches, i figured out this assholy fucker man, i defended the Rubber Godzilla man, i'm his Rex now, i'll get to eat from his bowl once, wow, all i can say is like WOW.

anyway, anwyay, bitches don't keep me man, i gots to run to the sitting man, it starts at 10 AM bitch.

like sooooo early, man! shit i'm still drunk since yesterday's trip, right, bitch, remember the trance and the one night stand?

anyway, anyway, brad said GREAT WORDS TODAY, he's like shit, if you sit 5 min in the morning at 10 AM and then 5 in the evening, shit YOU CAN DRINK AND FUCK ALL YOU WANT.

that's ZEN.

ROCK!

ON!

qbitty said...

Dear Retarded Braddy-Chan Sangha:

Do you want to know why Brad isn't reading his comments section?

Because of the same level of SADNESS that Michael Bardan has when he understands the hopelessness of trying to teach you anything!

We give a shit about your imbecility, in life and everywhere else, truly,
Another Cat in the Wall

qbitty said...

another qbitty PSA - please read aloud to Ven. Brad Warner in Q/A after sitting today:

the difference between diabetes and mental illness.

when you get treated for diabetes, everyone's blood sugar levels go down or whatever they do and then you don't die. you can tell a person they're diabetic until you're blue in the face, year after year, their sugar levels won't go up (actually this one isn't quite true, it just depends HOW GOOD YOU ARE IN CONVINCING THEM), because you can drive a person sugar levels up by telling them diabetes is an impending disease they will succumb to shortly, anyway...

when you get treated for mental illness, everyone is different, but they all need to be medicated more, until they all agree it would be better to be dead, rather than continue living like medicated pigs in cages (see radiohead's fitter happier lyrix).

when they die, finally and almost always tragically, the news is always that the mental illness did its thing.

you want to know why michael bardan went "berserk" on the blog yesterday?

because your Teacher, in his Ultimate Wisdom, told you, dear Reader on the East Coast, with no one around you, practicing zazen in earnest, that if you have any sign of kundalini, you should turn yourself over to a Psychiatrist.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE ABOMINATION OF THIS STATEMENT?

okay, let's calm down then and call it IRRESPONSIBLE ASSHOLE BEHAVIOR.

Dear Ven. Braddy-Chan Retarded Bastard!

You have an audience with the most vulnerable crowd that practices zen.

Are you fucking stupid?

Have you completely lost your cookies?

Any MAKYO told about to the wrong person, and, my friend, your local Psychiatrist is the perfect example of the ULTIMATE WRONG PERSON to talk to when and if you need to talk about your zazen practice, is going to result in the person you talk to telling you:

You're going crazy!

Stop what you're doing now!

Go get a better job, son.

Go be productive and vote.

It's the U S of A, we're free already.

This is crazy talk to think there's more free than Born to be Free that The Boss sang about back whenever Springsteen fukken still made good songs.

You unbelievably RETARDED MASTER of bullshit!

Go back and modify your fucking article, go back and WRITE ANOTHER ONE to retract that stupid, imbecile statement and article if you know anything about zen.

DO IT TODAY AFTER HOPEFULLY SOMEONE READS YOU THIS COMMENT YOU STUPID SHIT-HEAD.

981723980472 books you write won't repair the bad karma you will incur if ONE you stupid fuck ONE of your students, unknowingly, takes their ass into a psychiatrist, the wrong one, because yes, there still are good ones too, like lawyers, probably as many!

IMBECILE MOTHERFUCKER VEN. BRAD WARNER MY ASS.

take the fucking $1.50 i left at your altar, hand it over to smoggyrob and tell him to flock you with it until it breaks!

you stupid cunt!

qbitty said...

$1.50 KEISAKU/KYOSAKU

i left it there as a sign of mercy for your ass when your karma will run over your fucking dharma, you'll beg for a mere beating.

THERE.

I made heavy of your stupid light teaching.

Did you like it?

qbitty said...

fucking dogma!

bitch.

you know not a single piece of shit dharma.

michael bardan said...

Dear Arrogant Master Jinzang:

You revel in telling people that Master Braddy-Chan does not read his comments.

Yet he just said:

"Let's see how many people comment about that one."

re: to his mighty original hobosexual joke.

So this guy only reads comments when it's about stroking his mountainous ego then, right?

Please, write a capping verse for us.

michael bardan said...

Dear Unfunny Master Proulx:

15 messages ago when all you could retort back was something about Louis de Funes who knows more about zen than your entire Nishijima school combined, I had closed that post by saying you do look as a Rinzai master who could beat the shit out of a student when all he does is daydream and, while at it, incur huge bad karma for himself.

I beg you, get on a fucking plane, come to Santa Monica, tie Rubber Pornozilla to a goddam tree and whip him 8 time:Z!

Then hand him the whip and let him do the same to you.

You're just as retarded, I bet, and how I know is this way:

You got transmitted before you fucking understood what that does, before you fucking could do anything with it to keep it in check either.

You got transmitted by a fucking Zen Kamikaze, I bet.

Anyway, whatever, I'm just mentally ill, so don't mind me.

Deviak said...

This comment section is consistently funnier than a press release from Westboro Baptist Church. Good times every time I check in
Thank you Michael Bardan! You crack me up

PhilBob-SquareHead said...

Warren Zevon, on his life to David Letterman:

"Enjoy every sandwich."

Anonymous said...

The need to speak, even if one has nothing to say, becomes more pressing when one has nothing to say, just as the will to live becomes more urgent when life has lost its meaning.

The only thing worse than being bored is being boring.

One day, we shall stand up and our backsides will remain attached to our seat:z.

JB

Rich said...

Mikey B,
It doesn't matter what you say, or Brad says or Rich says. You are listening to ghosts. Just put it all down.

If you let it go, you will have true freedom coming and going and to come here anytime and practice.

This is talking to self practice.

Anonymous said...

who could possibly be anywhere and why practice?

if I never utter another word that means I'm free?

you have no idea how to speak without speaking, but you have guts to post here to tell me it doesn't matter what we say?

the fucking hells you will burn into by IGNORING the Law (of karma) are more shall we say unspeakable than kensho.

I don't need to come and go freely, because there has never been a way for me to leave Home.

Do yourself a favor and stop acting like Daddy here.

Compassionately,
Holy Ghost

Rich said...

Dear Holy Ghost,
Daddy has left the building.
The return engagement will be announced.
Regards

Harry said...

If the Holy Ghost is wholly 'ghost' then how can he give that 'pain in the hole e-ghost' a whole ego sting?

That is just meant to be a bit of a laff; don't go getting the Encyclopedia Metaphisica down from the shelf or anything.

Regards,

H.

Anonymous said...

rich, there's a place for metaphor and there's a place for speaking within a defined context.

you can't tell the difference between the two.

go deeper.

John John said...

The neoCONs are doin' it (treating the small as if it had great value) with Caribou Barbie.

GOP mantra: Lechery, Hypocrisy, Pregnancy!

Mysterion said...

mel·low
Pronunciation: \ˈme-(ˌ)lō\
Etymology: Middle English melowe
Date: 15th century

2a: made gentle by age or experience
b: rich and full but free from garishness or stridency

Jinzang said...

So this guy only reads comments when it's about stroking his mountainous ego then, right?

I don't know what Brad does, only what he says. He seems like an honorable man, so I assume the two agree. If you have doubts, such doubts are best expressed to him and not me.

Please, write a capping verse for us

Brad's behavior or misbehavior is not a koan to be capped. In fact, it's not for you or me to worry about because he is not your teacher and he is not mine.

Anonymous said...

I stumbled across this blog for the first time just a couple weeks ago. I've been reading and enjoying it nearly daily since then.

I quickly learned, when I spot "michael bardan," to simply scroll quickly down, past his stunningly narcissistic, froth-mouthed, lookyme! lookyme! drivel to find more worthwhile comments from someone - anyone! - to enjoy.

You're a sad, sad man, mister bardan. Too bad I won't read your ranting reply to this. I promise you.

michael bardan said...

brad seems honorable

michael seems a maniac

yes, well, one day, mr. honorable jinzang, you will realize NOTHING is as it seems, not in this world, not in innumerable next.

you are correct about brad being not our teacher, he is nobody's teacher.

does that mean i'm supposed to suck up to him and watch him ruin his fucking life while blindly not seeing what it is he teaches and how someone with vested power of authority by virtue of conditioned label/symbol has responsibility hugely more than a fuckup like me who narcissistically spews hate day in day out on the introweb:z?

wow, look at the retard, he's quickly found the blog and already realized who's maniac and who's teacher.

impressive.

THIS IS A FUCKING ZEN BLOG YOU FUCKING IMBECILES. THIS ISN'T YOUR CORNER BLOG OR YOUR SUICIDE GIRL PORNO PLAYGROUND.

GET THE FUCK OUT BEFORE YOU SLIP IN THE BATHROOM AND CRACK YOUR SKULL OPEN "BY MISTAKE" AFTER READING ONE OF THESE NARCISSISTIC POST:Z!

Isaac said...

love, exciting and new
come aboard, we're expecting you

Anonymous said...

why do you keep saying things dont exist yet you are trying to save us from the same very concepts? what do you really want from this blog?

Anonymous said...

how many more friggin' times must i put up my mission statement?

i'm having a friendly convo with ven. brad warner whom one day i'll have star in one of my deluded movies.

then again, if he refuses, we can make it all manga waking life style and we'll impersonate him as pornozilla (zTM).

hey, can he get a character on the simpsons meanwhile? or at least family guy?

say braddy griffin would be like the new parrot addition to the family and all his lines would be from ole godzilla movie:z!

I AM PASSING TIME ON DEATH ROW ASSHOLE and i don't give a shit about TIME, at least that's my theory and I'm stickin' to it until you can figure out to drug me out of my mind again, make me catatonic for 8 million kalpas of yours and then, who knows, mebbe i'll finally forget about this blog and live and let live or something, meh.

Zach said...

It resonates for me this evening as well. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

michael bardan: he ain't heavy, he's my blogger

translation said...

the kid who put together this vid would be on fucking zyprexa in this Land of the Free of yours.

i wanna puke!

You can have a heart attack

While shitting!

It’s the first kind of thought

You can’t stomach!



You pass into non-being

While taking out the trash!

You work day by day,

Impervious to the obvious.



You can die while telling me I’m wrong,

Falling off a chair while trying to pass the bong!

Your life is worth a shit,

Tell me again while I grab onto my dick!



Life’s made of shit, yeah, not shining like it,

The shittiest way to die is while you wank it!

You can die balancing 7 plastic bags in your hand,

The trolley drags you under while you stand!



Yeah, you can think post-mortem: it didn’t mean shit!

You can die on stage while realistically faking dying

And the public laughs thinking you fainted from crying!

You can fall flat on your face while you bow and pray

And get up “fly-fly away”

Like the fukken penguin!



You can die when you win the lotto

Without getting the chance to leave behind a motto,

Leave us your digicam with that last airplane photo!



You drop with an elevator

Or drive your wreck into a tree

You get to domicile in 4 plastic bags and seven sacks

Your free days reduced to zero

You die in a joint while they fuck you in the ass!



You can die of boredom while counting your money,

Or die in the tent you pitch behind the palace, like the gypsy,

You avoid the forced last kiss and go with a knot in your throat,

SALUUUUUUUUT……..



{chorus}

Calculate in this life we suffer more than we win,

Oh, yeah, we suffer more while we sip on some gin!

The value of a human being’s life in the moment not knowing,

Better ask philosophers, we don’t spend our time thinking!

{x2}



You can die like a pig at the surgery station,

Or you can die like a chicken trying to cross at the bus station!

Being woman, you can die while doing fellatio,

Or you can die by doing everything right, in moderation!



Anyway, God will see you and fuck you over.



You can be a sculptor,

A welder,

A doctor,

Fuck it,

You can die trying to save another!



You can die trying to change a bulb and your bitch is laughing,

Or you can die trying to kill the wife that’s bitching!

You can die drugging,

Or dreaming,

Or drinking,

Or crying,

Or eating,

Or even laughing!



Facing a knife yelling:

What the fuck?



Or even worse, die on your birthday choking

On your cake,

Or you can die in the park while walking,

Your dog comes to smell you and pees on you for talking!



You can die in an accident while chased by a cop,

Or if you want to cut a chicken’s head,

But the axe cuts your balls off instead!



You can die while you fuck your neighbor,

Get it?

You can die of cold while trying to drown, or

You can die on a horse, like Maria Magdalena, shit!



Alone in your bedroom, whatever,

But you don’t die really,



I killed you!



{chorus x2}

Alphonzen said...

SWELL POST BRAD! Excellent stuff!

elizabeth rose said...

Swell the fuck up motherfucker, I will kill you with my verily small bones and Cleopatra hands, I swear to Ra!

MOTHERFUCKER!

You ever ask me about eating disorders, ADHD medicated mayhem, and autism masking genius retarded into drooling by treatment?

FATHERFUCKER!

Have a kid, teach him your fucked up zazen, have your child tell his teacher about a mini-kensho and see the FUCKING SYSTEM put them IN HELL for a goddam lifetime!

DO IT YOU BLOODY FUCKED UP ZEN MASTER!

DO IT, LIKE NIKE!

and i promise you on all chiliocosms and last 20 ksanas i will hold your hand through ALL JUDGMENT that very KID will take your fucking dharma through!

CAPICHE?

michael bardan said...

I'm holding a Rose, MOFO!

Are YOU smiling?

Smoggyrob said...

Hi everyone:

Here is a Wordle of the current comment section (with some boring words like "anonymous" removed).

Rob

michael bardan said...

wow, man, wow, like it says liek michael is free and bardan is mental!

i wonder if i can take that into "art class" in between liquid zyprexa shots and have them not medicate me into "silenzio" waka-waka.

widah is bettah, note to self:
get b0rn xtian scientist next round!

qbitty said...

another qbitty way?

whatevah teh fukken evah!

michael bardan said...

another hell:z bell:z in the wall:z

/bell
/belll
/bellll
/belllll

Anonymous said...

the biggest words are, fucking die shit know michael bardan.

I'm scared.

wei wu wei said...

/kinhin break

instead try wu style 2x8 short form,
now $10 DVD by master bruce frantzis

red line wordledotnetcredit said...

anyway man go know way stupid!

OR

MAN KNOW FUCK

you SHOULD be scared.

time is running out for you, DO something, don't just THINK about IT.

green just shit said...

we'll go for JUST SIT next round ;)

/bell [2nd hour]

Harry said...

My Little Pony.

Just a balancing contribution towards the next "Wordle" (...interesting idea).

Regards,

Harry.

Anonymous said...

Little Pony My
Pony Little My
Pony My Little
Little My Pony
Pony Pony Pony
Pony Pony My
Pony Pony Little

My Little Pony
My Little Pony
My Little Pony

Strawberry Shortcake establishes the buddhamudra.

Harry said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kramer v seinfeld said...

I had pony my granny had pony we all had fukken pony, but Osama and Obama nevah evah had a pony, only high horse.

Shit!

pornozenilla movie script said...

bradzilla: one time at bandcamp my friend gr..

miguelito bardanero (always yelling his amplified mchawking r2d2 combo like voice at volume 11): WTFUkkEnFUCk NOW U HAVE FRIENDS? LIER PANTS SQUARE BOB MY FIRE!

Thing 2 said...

I do not like this blog anymore. Too much rant and not enough learning. If a twenty five word limit could be imposed then we

Anonymous said...

u r a thing who gives a shit about your likes and dislikes?

not I.

did I impart enough 2 u under 25, asshole?

master obvious counter said...

24 !!!

Justin said...

LOL. That Wordle is a die shit fucking work of art!

My little pony...

...skinny and boney

Anonymous said...

quick someone, sign it as (c)-pr0nozenzazilla and sell it on eBay for enough to pay your teacher's rent for 8 kalpa:z!

dana said...

ala eu, ala eu...

open letter by wordle.net art said...

FUCKING Man bitchtalk Brad,

die live!

now tell bitches ass

Michael

honorable one,

let goddam Ghost

blog still!

infinite library of babylon said...

these guys have never heard of the zen of the short stories of Jorge Luis Borges, they need Ven. Braddy-Chan to show 'em on a blog.

fucking retarded ululating masters and dharma intellectualizers of the new UNCULTURED age.

augment your cerebrums, ignoramusASS!

me me mini-me iGen me said...

shut up assfuck, i can skateboard and like dream about having a wakeboard one day, fully paid off, and then my boomer daddy mebbe will make enough in his retirement to buy me a nautique to haul my ass back and forth between 2 wake:z and like eat dick, okay!

ur stoopid man and my Teacher has a dick so big that i can swallow it hole and i can still talk on his behalf and like SHOW YOU MAN!

i am showing you my MANHOOD right here, man, i'm a fucking shoboshitzazen MORAL OF FIBER.

cereal imbecile,
mB)

vegan emo 13 year old suicidal did i say emo? said...

insensitive bastards,

i'm going to tell my teacher tomorrow that she was right.

if we don't all turn vegan by the end of the week, the world will stop spinning.

polution, overpopulation, beauty fades, but dumb is forever!

the most common element in the universe is not stupidity, as einstein said, it is evil people on blog:z!

they cause PROBLEMS where there are none.

please let's all hold hands in love and light and use our big MIDDLE FINGER to point out the evil

let's do nothing about anything and just sit zazen, because that's going to solve all problems and keep evil bastards like michael bardan off the streets and in jail where they belong!

manifesto for peace, love, light and POSITIVITY.

positivity is: talking about negativity.

yours truly,
oprah winfuckwannabefree

cosigners: eckhart "never get angry" tolle, i wouldn't get angry either if i had $1 billion in the bank from stupid fucks who want their lives changed by the power of CHANGE.

wow, CHANGE NOW.

try that infinite combination of err well like CONSTANCY.

shit, vote OBAMA-08, he will help us implement CHANGE.

hahahahahahaha

fucking grizzly ass my teeth on your lazy buttock:z!

kung fu death grip & bodhidharma said...

The reason we don't come to sit with VeneReal Brad Warner is that I'm afraid the fucking Hill Street will collapse onto itself from my farting at his Dharma preaching.

Signed,
Han Solo and "Woman in Red" [dharma name] Ritchie Gere

Lorem said...

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Owen said...

Sharks attacking planes in a fish tank, what more could you want in a movie.

oh no not latin again said...

64 = 8x8
check m8