Friday, August 08, 2008

Santa Monica Zazen, Cults & c.

I've made some changes on the page about the Saturday zazen things in Santa Monica. I've revised the starting time to 9:45 for instructions and 10 for the beginning of zazen. We've been doing it that way for a year or more. But I just never got around to changing the webpage. Also I added these lines:

On Saturdays I do my daily zazen practice at the Hill Street Center and I open the doors to allow others to join me. I am not trying to recruit followers or build up a large organization. This isn't like a church or even a typical Zen center. You're joining my personal practice. Be respectful and do not expect to be catered to. On days when I can't be at Hill Street I usually have someone there to open the door and continue the practice as I do.

I thought it was necessary to make this clear. I know it doesn't sound particularly inviting. But I don't really care. I'm as nice as I can possibly be when people arrive at these Saturday things. But I'm really not a very gregarious, sociable person by nature. I won't be mean to you. But don't expect me to be all huggy and sweet because that's not how I am.

I will not attend the sittings on August 9th or 16th since I'll be at the Great Sky Zen sesshin. I won't be there on the 30th either because I'll be attending the Maezumi Institute Young Buddhists Retreat (I'll be at the Hill St. Center on the 23rd, though). But someone will be at Hill Street Center on those days to open the doors and instruct new people on what they need to do. If you're inclined to do zazen with a group and you're in So Cal you should come to these sittings regardless of whether I'm there or not. I do not matter. I'm just some jerk who writes books and says boring stuff at the end of the sitting. Zazen is yours. I cannot help you with it at all.

Going to the Hare Krishna thing last week got me looking into the history of the organization. Chris Chapple lent me a book called Hare Krishna Transformed that goes into some of the scandals that have plagued the movement since the death of its founder in 1977. I also found this YouTube documentary on the subject. It's way too damn long and obviously the director has an agenda. But it's about as thorough as you'd ever want to get and contains some amazing footage of some of the stuff the narrator talks about actually happening.

I've always been very concerned with the matter of cults. There is a pattern to how new religious movements grow.

STEP 1: A charismatic leader, usually from a foreign country, starts the group.

STEP 2: He (or she, but I'll stick with he) names his successor.

STEP 3: He dies.

STEP 4: The successor gets accused of doing bad things.

STEP 5: The successor is ousted.

STEP 6: A committee is formed to carry on the "true teachings."

STEP 7: Everything becomes very corporate, stale and pretty much useless.

In the case of the Krishnas, it's pretty clear that Keith "Kirtanananda Swami" Ham actually did do some pretty heinous things. But jealousy and greed for power among those who feel they ought to have been the rightful successor is so strong that I'm not sure actual wrong doing is even required for step 4.

Anyway, if you're lucky maybe something gets preserved and passed on in this process. But I don't think the organization is ever really responsible for this except that maybe they act to preserve the records of what happened. Like the Soto-shu preserving Dogen's writings even though they really didn't look at them for the first 600 years or so of their existence.

I think the rewriting and editing done to Hardcore Zen gives people the mistaken impression I want to start a movement of some kind. I really don't. I'm not interested at all in promoting myself as a Zen teacher or enlarging my group. I do not want to have any followers. Not a single one.

On the other hand, I don't mind promoting myself as a writer, and I write mainly about Zen. So I understand why there's some confusion. But here I am, once again trying to clear that up. I'll be trying to clear that up till I die, I think. But that's fine.

In any case, I'm thinking hard about all this and how it applies to this nebulous something that may or may not exist but has been given the provisional designation "Dogen Sangha." It may be simpler than I think it is. Because in a very real sense there is a nebulous something which may or may not exist but has been given the provisional designation "Brad Warner" and I deal with that all the time.

If I manage to reach some conclusion, I'll let you know.


1 – 200 of 254   Newer›   Newest»
one said...

1 !!!

Anonymous said...

Your take is very refreshing. I don't want to be a follower. I enjoy reading your books and I find them especially helpful when my enthusiasm for sitting wanes. The books motivate me to continue getting on the cushion.

I have been a member of a 12 step group for 20 years - kind of hard when I don't believe in a God that answers prayers! (The fellowship is great though). Anyway, I am amazed at the number of people who need a 'sponsor' that will tell them what to do and when to do it. In fact these sponsors who are dictatorial often have the most followers, er, sponsees! It seems many people don't want to think or figure things out for themselves.

oxeye said...

Brad, Thanks for all you do. You are a special nebulous something.

Colinski said...


Anonymous said...

Thanks for your continued refinement and clarification.
I too think the bottom line is daily practice and for those of us not living in a monastery or temple that means home practice.
I like your straightforward and simple position you take with regard to zazen.

Jules said...

Oh, you're right, that is a sleestak. For a minute I thought is was a hollywood starlet wearing those bug-eyed sunglasses that are so popular these days.

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8 said...

jawohl, herr comandant!

John said...

yoga action squad, episode 2

ninja love said...

make me puke.

Anonymous said...

Interesting post, Brad. There are some that say Zen is a "cult":

Anonymous said...

BRAD said:
"I think the rewriting and editing done to Hardcore Zen gives people the mistaken impression I want to start a movement of some kind."

Are you talking about your publisher's editing of the "Hardcore Zen" book, or the comments on this blog?

Just trying to clarify your position.

- Phil

John said...

Hi Phil,

Since I don't think Brad reads these comments anymore you might want to ask him directly via email. But on Saturdays he has mentioned that he had an editor that pushed for a lot of changes in Hardcore Zen, the book. One change I think I remember is that there was a chapter on vegetarianism that the editor wanted to cut, and was ultimately successful in doing so.

re: this post I'm not sure which sections in the book he's referring to and I haven't read it in a while, so I couldn't guess.

Anonymous said...

Thank you John.

- Phil

Yudo said...

I've always been very concerned with the matter of cults. There is a pattern to how new religious movements grow.

STEP 1: A charismatic leader, usually from a foreign country, starts the group.

STEP 2: He (or she, but I'll stick with he) names his successor.

STEP 3: He dies.

STEP 4: The successor gets accused of doing bad things.

STEP 5: The successor is ousted.

STEP 6: A committee is formed to carry on the "true teachings."

STEP 7: Everything becomes very corporate, stale and pretty much useless.

With Deshimaru's AZI, steps 4 and 5 were skipped. But in the end, just the same.

michael bardan said...

what's the name of the game on weequend:z?

free style z@z3n, beyotch!

i too am very concerned with cults. the primordial one, you ask?


as defined by the judeoxtian book of knowledge.

fuck you, even as a kid i loved arabian nights and after i read heinlein's "time enough for love" i understood finally:

EVERYTHING IS CONDITIONED ON THIS PLANET, INCLUDING THE GODDAM "NUCLEUS OF EVERYTHING" oh yeah the family, because there aren't enough of us born to fucked up parents that instantaneously sets us back like 8 kalpas or so...

anyhoo, ummmm, okay...

/clappers 0n


michael bardan said...

/clappers 0ff

dr. john, shitfock, yourPod rock:z! erm, or is it myPod now that i'm talking over it?

should be called all over john's to be honest. don't you love those fuckers that start their shpiel by saying to be honest with you?

to be blatantly lying to you, i have no idea why you keep insisting brad does or does not do certain things. even if he says he ain't reading here, you know the fucker is perverted enough to lock himself in the bathroom (where wifi is always free if you place your lappy on the toilet seat) with these comment:z!

nondiscriminatively speaking i'd like to say that brad's closet isn't foola skeleton:z like the rest of us non transmitted folk, it probably only contains an inflatable godzilla, anatomically correct in every aspect, just in case his wife is tired of his partying with the suicide chicks and puts him on a sex diet for a couple weeks.

yup, don't be surprised if that's how it flow:z!

for youse folksters who are still trying to solve the bardan equazhions of lazy ass humAn:Z, let's not get bogged down in predictibilities and probabilities (which incidentally lie on the 5th dimension - once you fuckers transcend the 4th of "space," ie time, don't think you're done).

nothing of your own, alanis said it on track 7 or jagged little pill methinks, you choke, you learn, you laugh, you learn, you regulate, you learn, you defecate, you learn, you kensho, you learn, you satori, you let it go.

mw@h - probabilistically korrekt in effect, your:z trooly,

(0,1) ps: remember when in doubt, take the 5th! the 4th only binds your ass herenow ;)

Lauren said...

There seems to be a whole lot between the lines here. I really dislike unspoken elephants.

I don't know the lingo...

Nishijima sensei passed something (nebulous) on to Brad that gets to be titled Dogen Sangha [more like 'said "Ha!"' than sang it].

There is concern this NT (nebulous thing) might get caught in the steps laid out in the post, but none the less, here it is and here we are.

From my own experience HZ did not seem like a call to a movement. Just an autobiography that I enjoyed. It opened a window for me though I don't know what that window faces really yet.

I covet association with this NT (this coveting is probably not so good, but "whoops, there it is"). I enjoy Dogen's writing and this is in his shadow. I really dig Sawaki's writing and this is in his shadow. I dig Nishijima's writing and this is also in his shadow. And of course Brad's in the line up too.

Not much point to this it seems...just expressing.

Anonymous said...


No elephants.

1. Ven. Odo Warner Successor of Gudo Nishijima and head of Dogen Sangha International. Odo also has published a few books, is married and plays in a punk band.

2. Brad, he's just this guy y'know!

3. Brad Warner, Author, Zen Priest and guitarist.

4. Brad, married, no children.

5. Brad Warner, Godzilla worshipper.

6. Zen Master Brad Warner, head of the legendary Zen Suicide Girl's Cult - Hari Krishna meeets Godzilla.

Any of the above could describe Brad. Which one is closest to the real Brad Warner?

Who chooses?

michael bardan said...

!!!! I DO !!!!

michael bardan said...

in other news, the wackness movie was, well, wack!

go see it after sitting.

Anonymous said...


SFZC today is a motherfucking useless poseur zen CULT.

Lauren said...

Godzilla worshiper. Now there's a sculpture I'd like to do if I could avoid a law suite. Godzilla on a zafu in half lotus - he's too inflexible now for full. Or maybe in one of those over-sized roshi chairs...

Better yet, do all that in plastic and install a zazen timer that can accomodate cone incense, so his mouth is smoking, while his eye slowly throb red. At the end of the session his bark/yell/roar is sounded and his back fins twinkle.

Install an articulated jaw and some additional memory for leading chants.

Gosh, this is so much more fun than discussing thinking & non-thinking.

Anonymous said...

watch any godzilla movie to see him practice kinhin and samu said...

is your google

because mine says "godzilla kinhin" is jerry springer!

let's try that again said...

my bad for forcing your ritalin'd ass to double click for nuttin' today!

migraine boy said...

got samu?

ninja poet said...

koan practice.

warner v bardan said...

ttttt-i-me outttttttt!

elbows said...

I would love to read the lost chapter on vegetarianism.

Anonymous said...

Brad has a lot of answers. Was Dogen a cult leader?
Is Brad awake? Does he know what he's really doing?

michael bardan said...

do you?

/clappers 0n


michael bardan said...

/clappers 0ff

go climb a rock!

Anonymous said...

michele bardin has B.O.

Mysterion said...


Welcome back.

You were away for a while.

Lauren said...

Way off topic (probably)... but I was just pondering away and got stuck on this.....

Is part of the Buddhist thesis that we are capable of things we should not be capable of?

Suffering, for example, seems to be part of the human condition. It is "drawing within the lines" of possibility in existence. Why, then, expound 4 noble truths on how to end it?

There are not 4 noble truths on how to end sneezing, or loving, singing. Isn't "suffering" just one more of the "natural" things we can go through as part of this now-ness?

Why try to explain how to stop that particular thing?

From a personal-practical point of view, yes I get it. I don't like "suffering" (whatever that really means).

Is this partly a problem with translation? Is the "suffering" that Buddha meant, some large, nebulous idea of "negative?" That is to say, is grief, sadness, shame, anger, rejection, disappointment, fear, loathing, etc... all "suffering."

If Buddhism is to accepting the is-ness of now, why remove suffering?

[a snake eating its own tail?]

Anonymous said...

As I understand it, translation does figure in to things here--what is translated as 'suffering,' has also been translated as 'unsatisfactoriness.'
Somewhat along the lines of a Christmas or birthday type of scenario in which you've received many things but are still not satisfied, or maybe you were satisfied, but only briefly.
This lack of satisfactoriness lies not so much in the object as much as it is a mental thing.

The 4 Noble Truths describe this 'illness,' names the cause, states that there is a cure and 'prescribes' the means to do so (the 8 fold path).

This word suffering is interesting to use.
There is suffering, just itself, such as physical illness, and then there is this 'unsatisfactoriness' on top of, in addition to the suffering: (this is where that clinging or pushing away stuff happens--the desire/aversion stuff and it is this clinging/desiring (wanting things to stay a certain way or go back to being a certain way, or become a certain way) same goes for the pushing away/aversion (wanting things not to be the way they are, but to be different,).

This wanting to change the channel on reality is what makes suffering feel all the more like suffering.

It is actually possible to suffer without suffering.

Thank you, Buddha! And gratitude to all teachers past, present and future.

Anonymous said...

michael barden:
I hope you enjoyed your rock climbing/snorkling whatever it was you did
you've been away from your computer for several hours and that means (I hope) you got to be a nature's child in the beautiful out of doors.

Moon Face Buddha said...

It may be that a 'cult' appeals to those who seek absolute Truth.

As Saint Bob is reported to have once said... "Only the madman is absolutely sure."

To what extent is a 'cult' aware of its own duplicity? Does the 'cult' leader need to buy into his/her own bs? Or is it a function of Orwellian DoubleThink?

Saint Bob may have said the following in an interview with High Times... "Following Korzybski, I put things in probabilities, not absolutes... My only originality lies in applying this zetetic attitude outside the hardest of the hard sciences, physics, to softer sciences and then to non-sciences like politics, ideology, jury verdicts and, of course, conspiracy theory."

NellaLou said...

To accept all forms of suffering as a necessary reality is to give into a kind of quietist nihilism. Even fatalism. Que sera sera sort of thinking.

Much suffering is artificially created by belief in the necessity to follow the manipulations of one's surroundings. That would be society, clique, cult, Religion with a big R, etc.

Can someone be truly content with life if they are constantly stimulated by these forces and provoked to respond? Can they be happy then?

It is as if people have no center. One wobbles from disaster to disaster, however one might define disaster (anything from locking their keys in the car to an airplane crash)without balance or the ability to manage the situation that is life. And people end up taking paxil by the bucketful just to try to maintain some kind of equilibrium.

Ideally, and Buddhists always seem to cling to a certain idealistic sense even if most won't admit it, life doesn't have to be like that. I think that is the point of addressing suffering in Buddhism. If suffering cannot be eradicated then at least it can be managed in a different way or just managed in general.

michael bardan said...

consolation prize (let's wallow in validating against lower form:z):

ah, bullshit, why would i want to escape suffering (read: i'm scared shitless of suffering, i realize i prolly don't gots what it takes to free myself from this goddam hell, i'm so scared, but i'd like to talk my little scared ego up, so) it's normal to suffer just like laffin, oh yeah, suffering, it's why i came here for...

oh, even if there's a way to escape suffering, nobody's done it yet, check out people everywhere who CLAIM they don't suffer, but I (my fucking little EGO) know they suffer foh shizzle mah bizzle (and so I-ego-concept) will continue to suffer "stoically, no less" while patting myself on the back that no one else has gone beyond it either.


chickenshits left and right, intellectualizing in HELL about "what is is best" let's not fight it, because we're lazy as all fuck.

day in, day out you do it, but NO, 5 more minutes of sitting, that we can't be bothered with...

!!!! YAZA, ASSHOLE !!!!

michael bardan said...

ps: thank you for your "concern," higher form, i have iPhone 3G, i can enjoy the nature and youse assholes with no differentiation between the not two!

Dan said...

elbows said...
I would love to read the lost chapter on vegetarianism.

You can find it on t'internet. google brad warner vegetarian or something similar. It was published by a vegetarian website a while a go.

michele bardin said...

it would make some sense, but sadly, no.

/clappers 0n

ringydingydingyringring (adhd jikijitsu)

Smoggyrob said...


I met you at HSC two Saturdays ago (8/1/8), but lost your contact info. Please email me at


michele bardin said...

/clappers 0ff

(B)uddha (O)rigination

learn to spell my name asshole, it's the least amount of concentration/practice to help your navel gazing you can possibly amass during action (1o,ooo more effective than while sitted on a stupid cushion) without effort.

it's a workday, now go make it fun.

Michael Bardan said...

(to me)


(to me)



Micahel Bardan said...

OH YEAH! And [insert pop culture reference]!!!!

Have you even seen clearely how full of shit you are?!?!!?!?

WHat would [insert drug reference] out of his ass!!

When you can learn to [ insert spiritual reference]

validating against higher and lower WALMART!!!

(to me)

Anonymous said...

I like teh 8 fold ?!?!!?!?

qbitty said...

let's write this for lauren or whoever that dude was in the mode of saying, well, if true you're so beyond everything, how come you ain't sending me all your money, whatchu need it for?

i need to keep it, so i don't fuck you up even worse than you already have managed to fuck you up yourself.

let's write this for anony who thinks i'm here to self-flatulate against my ego.

if i stayed away forever from this blog henceforth, would that actually prove anything to any1?

would it cause even 1 more asshole to sit their asses down along with me every 5 AM morning, at least once a week, if they can't daily?

let's balance the equation a bit: realize i'm full of shit and this ain't my blog and ain't my rules, so step the fuck away from this vehicle V realize youse guys are full of shit and can't even own up to your stupid retarded sense of humor with a name, because if that suicide girl would know you're the anony pussywhip being all wise and shit like that, YOU'D NEVER GET LAID AGAIN!!!!!!!!

is that enough wal*mart validation for 1 day for you, blowhole????????

jim sinai said...

barden, You are right. It wouldn't prove shit.. Besides you cannot stay away from here due to your disorder. You cannot. You will return in one form or another until the crisis.

But I have an idea. start your own fucking blog.


But then again why bother? No one will read it, and you have a captive audience here.

BTW, Do see any irony in calling other people blowholes?

Jinzang said...

I would love to read the lost chapter on vegetarianism.

It was posted on E-Sangha, scroll down a bit to read it.

michael bardan said...

which disorder is that?

blogoholic addicktion to calling others blowhole:z?

because like if i met you in real life, i wouldn't dare, because my dick is shorter than yours?

why, mt. sinai, i bow to your eternal wisdom, thanks for pointing out all my shortcomings and inability to see the immensity of my maniacal ego.

ps: care to recommend a medication track for me, shithole?

immortal bookie said...

where's that guy with the 2o2 DC phone number who was taking bets on when bardan's train will crash?

let's up the stake:z and percentages, shall we?

jordan hoffman said...

Jesse Helms’ Greatest Hits
Jordan | No News Is Good News | Friday, July 4th, 2008

According to Wikipedia:


Helms was particularly vitriolic when speaking of blacks, gays and lesbians, blaming them for “the proliferation of AIDS,” and stating that he disliked using the word “gay” to refer to them since, “…there’s nothing gay about them.”
Helms opposed the Martin Luther King Day bill in 1983 on grounds that King had two associates with communist ties, Stanley Levison and Jack O’Dell; as well, he voiced disapproval of King’s alleged philandering.
Of civil rights protests Helms stated in 1963 that “The Negro cannot count forever on the kind of restraint that’s thus far left him free to clog the streets, disrupt traffic, and interfere with other men’s rights.”[6] (WRAL-TV commentary, 1963) He also wrote, “Crime rates and irresponsibility among Negroes are a fact of life which must be faced.” (New York Times, 2/8/81)
Helms’ referred to the University of North Carolina (UNC) as the “University of Negroes and Communists.” (Charleston Gazette, 9/15/95)[7]
Helms once deeply offended a black colleague, Democratic Senator Carol Moseley-Braun of Illinois, by singing part of “Dixie” on a Capitol elevator.
Soon after the Senate vote on the Confederate flag insignia, Sen. Jesse Helms (R.-N.C.) ran into Mosely-Braun in a Capitol elevator. Helms turned to his friend, Sen. Orrin Hatch (R.-Utah), and said, “Watch me make her cry. I’m going to make her cry. I’m going to sing ‘Dixie’ until she cries.” He then proceeded to sing the song about “the good life” during slavery to Mosely-Braun (Gannett News Service, 9/2/93; Time, 8/16/93).[7]
While working on the 1950 campaign of Republican Willis Smith against Democrat Frank Porter Graham, Helms helped create an ad that read “White people, wake up before it is too late. Do you want Negroes working beside you, your wife and your daughters, in your mills and factories? Frank Graham favors mingling of the races.” Another ad featured photographs Helms himself had doctored to illustrate the allegation that Graham’s wife had danced with a black man. (FAIR 9/1/01, The News and Observer 8/26/01)
Helms was an ardent supporter of the late Chile dictator Augusto Pinochet.[8]
When Roberta Achtenberg was appointed Assistant Secretary of the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development in 1993 by President Bill Clinton, Helms attempted to block her confirmation, stating that he refused to vote for her “because she’s a damn lesbian.”
After a protest during his 1986 visit to Mexico, Helms opined: “All Latins are volatile people. Hence, I was not surprised at the volatile reaction.” [1]
In 1994 Helms spoke out against metal industrial singer Marilyn Manson. Manson responded by painting an anti-gay slur on his chest during a show in Winston-Salem, in a sarcastic and critical display against Helms’s social viewpoints.
Hendrik Hertzberg of The New Yorker noted in his memoirs that Helms had “the ‘humorous habit’” of calling all black people “Fred”.
Helms used race issues in many elections; for instance, in 1990, he ran the famous “Hands” television ad in a tough re-election race. The ad has become legendary in Southern political circles as the most direct appeal to white backlash in modern American politics. The ad played upon white voters’ ideas that affirmative action might lead to a job going to a less-qualified candidate (”Gantt supports Ted Kennedy’s racial quota law, that makes the color of your skin more important than your qualifications.”) (watch the ad).
Helms opposed an amendment offering war reparations to Japanese-Americans who had been interned during World War II; he proposed an amendment stipulating that no reparations would be made unless the Japanese government compensated the families of Americans killed at Pearl Harbor.
In 1994, Helms created a sensation when, on the anniversary of John F. Kennedy’s assassination, he told broadcasters Rowland Evans, Jr., and Robert Novak that Clinton was “not up” to the tasks of being commander-in-chief and suggested that Clinton had “better not show up around here [Fort Bragg] without a bodyguard.”[9]
Helms was a strong supporter of drug prohibition, and opposed former Massachusetts Governor Bill Weld’s nomination as Ambassador to Mexico because Weld supported medical marijuana.[2] Helms proposed several bills as part of the war on drugs.[10]
Helms once claimed that “The New York Times and Washington Post are both infested with homosexuals themselves. Just about every person down there is a homosexual or lesbian.”[11]

heart:z of men said...

Hey Suge what I tell you nigga when I come out of jail what was I gonna do
I was gonna start diggin' into these niggas‘ chests right?
Watch this, hey Quik let me see them binoculars, nigga
The binoculars

Ha ha ha ha, yeah nigga time to ride
Grab your bulletproof vest nigga
cause its gonna be a long one
Now me and Quik gonna show you niggas what it's like on this side
The real side
Now on this ride there's gonna be some real muthafuckas
and there's gonna be some pussies
Now the real niggas gonna be the ones with money and bitches
The pussies are gonna be the niggas on the floor bleedin'
Now everybody keep your eyes on the prize cause the ride get tricky
See you got some niggas on your side
That say they're your friends
But in real life they your enemies

And then you got some mutha-fuckas that say they your enemies
But in real life they eyes is on your money
See the enemies will say they true
But in real life those niggas will be the snitches
Its a dirty game y'all
Y'all got to be careful about who you fuck with and who you don't fuck with
Cause the shit get wild y'all
Keep your mind on your riches, Baby
Keep your mind on your riches

9-1-1 its an emergency cowards tried to murder me
From hood to the 'burbs, everyone of you niggas heard of me
Shit, I'm legendary niggas scary and paralyzed
Nothing more I despise than a liar
cowards die

My mama told me When I was to see
Just a vicious mutha fucker why these devils let me free
I proceed to make them shiver
when I deliver
Criminal lyrics
from a world wide mob figure
Thug niggas from everywhere Mr. Makaveli
Niggas is waiting for some thug shit, thats what they tell me
So many rumors but I'm the infinite, Immortal, Outlaw
Switching up on you ordinary bitches
like a south paw you get left
And every breath I breathe untill the moment I'm deceased
Will be another moment ballin' as a 'G' (just like y'all are ballin' as Earth)
I rip the crowd, then I start again
Eternally I live in sin
until the moment that they let me breathe again
The heart:z of men


The Heartz of Men

My lyrical verse with so much pain
that to some niggas it hurts
My guns bust
And if you ain't one of us
it gets worse
Bitch niggas get their eyes swoll
in fly mode
I'm a homicidal outlaw
and five-o, get your lights on, the fight’s on
tonights gonna be a fuckin' fight
so we might roll
My own homies say I'm heartless
But I'm a 'G' to this 'til the day I'm gone that's regardless
Drive-by, niggas bow down
thought I'd rot in jail, paid bail, well niggas out now
Throw up your hands if you thugged out
First nigga act up
first nigga gettin' drugged out
I can be a villian if ya let me
I'll Muthafuck ya
if ya do upset me
tell the cops to come and get me
rip the crowd like a phone number
Then start again, don't have no muthafuckin' friends nigga
Look inside the heartz of men


In The Heartz of Men
In The Heartz of Men

To all my niggas engaged in making money in the fifty states
Keep your mind on your chips and fuck a punk bitch
No longer living in fear
my pistol close in hand
Convinced this is my year
like I'm the chosen man
Give me my money and label me as a don
If niggas is having problems
smoke'em, fire and bomb
I died and came back,
I hustle with these lyrics as if it's a game of crack
Thuggin' is in my spirit
I'm lost and not knowing
scarred up
but still flowing
energized and still going
Uhh, can it be fate
that makes a sick muthafucka break
On these jealous ass coward cuz they evil and fake
What will it take ?
Give me that bass line
I'm feeling bombed
Deathrow baby, don't be alarmed
The homie Quik gave a nigga a beat and let me start again
cause I've been sent
The heart:z of men

the last psychiatrist ft. craig fergusson said...

August 8, 2008
Craig Ferguson, The Jonas Brothers, and Katy Perry

This is what 46 year old Scottish late night TV host Craig Ferguson said Tuesday night:

The Jonas Brothers... I'm sure they're fine young kids, and their music's not for me, it's for young people, I understand that, but my point is-- they're kind of too clean. With the purity rings, symbolizing that you're saving yourself for marriage. Now, I'm thinking-- what kind of a rock star is this? What kind of a rock star is this?...

It makes me a little uncomfortable, it's a little sinister to me, when the teenage rebellion is controlled and sanitized by a big corporation. There has to be some rebellion, or else it's not rock and roll.

Ferguson was in a Scottish punk band, was a drug addict, almost suicided and is now clean-- and strong enough to make nightly jokes about using drugs and still not relapse. Rock and roll cred established.

What's he saying? He defines rock and roll as rebellion; now, and now laments is a genre.

You might say that actually, the Jonas Brothers are rebellion because they are rebelling against the established credo of rock and roll (sex, drugs, etc), but that's a ruse as well, they aren't the ones rebelling; they were selected by an industry that is trying to change it's image.

To illustrate this, take a look at the other promise ring wearer, Katy Perry, whose song, "I Kissed A Girl" has disturbed me for a long time, disturbed me because it is so not disturbing.

In case you don't have kids or contracted rubella as a fetus, here's the chorus:

I kissed the girl and I liked it

The taste of her cherry chapstick
I kissed a girl just to try it

Hope my boyfriend don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it

That's as raunchy as it gets. Anyone who lived through the bicurious 90s knows that this kind of "kissing the girl" is about boys. It's about being sexy for boys, even if the boy doesn't know you did it, you still feel you are even more attractive to them. But this is by no means cutting edge material.

I will grant you that the song is technically, and artistically, more brilliant than anything by Coldplay. Ok, you got me there.

Yet the song is everywhere, not just pop song everywhere, but everywhere everywhere. Here are three news media outlets that have no business writing about music, writing about her. And always the topic is sexuality, as if she's opening (or closing) doors or something.

I had a huge argument with a friend about that song. My position was that such a benign song-- this is old news-- has a popularity that cannot be explained by the seemingly relevant topic of kissing a girl, there must be something else to it. Why would the music industry choose to push this specific song, so much?

His position was that it was MTV et al, targeting the older people, the ex-MTV generation-- e.g. me-- trying to entice them back with songs that play on their (unfulfilled) fantasies. "Why else would they be in lingerie? Young guys don't care about lingerie, unless it's a thong. They're programming to the older crowd."

Maybe, but why this song? Why not a million other more risque songs?

So here is this not at all provocative video, completely old news to anyone 21-45, yet it is everywhere. Go ahead and watch it, tell me why. No nudity. She's pretty, but come on, she's no Taylor Swift. Song is catchy, but again...

I call your attention to the last five seconds of the video. In the final scene, she wakes up next to her sleeping boyfriend. Ooohh-- is he going to find out how naughty she is? Will he be jealous or turned on? Is it fantasy or real?

Here's the thing. Her boyfriend in the video is black.

If that realization doesn't have any impact on you at all, you are my point. You may be so progressive that you don't even notice race, but I can assure you race is still a gigantic issue, for both races.

We have a scenario where two maybe-sort-of taboos are present in a video, but one is highlighted as a real taboo, and the other as completely and utterly ordinary, meriting no comment or explanation. I'm pretty sure depending where you live in America, you'll either agree or disagree with her hierarchy.

In all the Katy Perry discussions, blogs, and articles, no one noticed the race issue, no one thought to mention it, nothing. What they went all Manchurian Candidate about was that she kissed a girl.

"Well, maybe that's what she believes." She doesn't have anything to do with it. She didn't make a video, then go Jet Li the MTV program director's office door, slap him in the face with the reel, and say, "This is f-ing awesome, play this!" "oh-oh-oh right away Mrs. Perry! Right away!"

The video was directed, manufactured. The guy in her bed isn't random, they selected an actor. It wasn't accidental he was black, they picked him because he was black. Indeed, he's DJ Skeet Skeet, a friend of her real life black rapper/boyfriend Travis McCoy. Nothing here is random; even her name, Katy Perry, was selected because her real name, Katy Hudson, risked confusing her with Kate Hudson. She changed her name to differentiate herself from someone else. They are constructing an image, they are telling you a story.

So what's happening here is that MTV isn't saying, "wow, this is so shockingly sexy, she kissed a girl." MTV is actually resetting the culture, it is telling you, telling a generation of kids, that kissing a girl is shocking and sexy.

"But it isn't shocking, you can't simply declare that it is. Much more shocking porn is everywhere." Actually, that's the genius of this. Reconstruct adolescent sexuality to the old days of maybe you catch a glimpse of a worn and melted Playboy down by the creek. Online porn saturates, overloads, it stops becoming arousing and starts getting frustrating, "where the hell is the exact pic I need to get off?"

MTV can't compete with that. Music can't compete with that. In your face, up yours, all that. Those vibes are now elsewhere.

So it's recreating a niche by recreating a culture. Clean, sober, and hip-hop light.

So that when you turn the amp up just a little, it catches everyone's attention. "Holy crap! She kissed a girl!"

I'm not sure if I should be appalled that sexuality has been commandeered by MTV et al, or I should just be relieved they're pushing popcorn not penetration.

Back to the Craig Ferguson. The music industry has to make good boys cool because there's a glut of bad boys everywhere else, and MTV and the music industry can't compete. Sex is no longer cool. What's cool now? Status. Narcissism. Rich is the new porn.

But poor Craig Ferguson. He makes the point that rock and roll is supposed to be about rebellion-- theoretically getting a big inaudible cheer from the teenagers-- "this guy may be old, but at least he gets it!" But he doesn't. That cheer came from his viewers-- who have an average age of 50. He's talking to a bunch of old guys, people who still think Smoke on The Water meant something.

Yawn. said...

Yawn. Dude, your victimhood fetish is so overdone.

if you want to prove that you're not just whining for attention, then say something insightful and/or original about zen.

all Latins are volatile people. said...

yes, but not us, homie, not us tibetans, we are all mellow and can't stand you who lacking compassion need to be made so by injection.

y'all need to either be turned to sitting stones, unable to speak when talked to, but it would be even nicer if you would maintain your productivity, so you can make us nice vehicles, such as mercedes.

michael bardan said...

victimhood is overdone.

zazen is not.


how could i possibly say something "insightful" to you, lowlife?

you cannot deal with 2 days of rain in a row, califragilistically so is your ability to READ TO YOURSELF a bunch of random text which you then attribute to some DUDE.

go watch the big lebowski if you want koan practice purveyed to you by a dude.

either that or stick a fly up your yawning mouth after you pull it out of your ass.


you need to transcend BOTH these dualities AT ONCE:

knowledge/ignorance (prajna)
love/hate (caritas)


twinkle, twinkle, little star, how i wonder what you are

isn't it a bit bizarre

while there's one right here on earth

all you do is speak of birth?

wow, that was very gay.

& silly fusilly.

Romang said...

Michael Barden where do you come from? You need a smack.

michael bardan said...

I" ll smack you good sweetie.

Jules said...

You guys are weak

the real real michael bardan said...


michael bardan's little cinch wife said...

i don't give a sheet
y'all come from the same

mata hari said...

at last, across kalpa:z i find you, my love...

michael bardan is... said...

martin luther king, jr.

rick moses said...

you call the guy boring and lame and he just posts more often. maybe you should try ignoring him. that will take a little discipline..

better forget that plan.

rick moses said...

I care. I really don't. No, I really do. No .......

rick moses said...

It would be wrong not to care. So I care. I don't care. No, I do. I care and I don't care.. shit!

Anonymous said...

...i see buddhas...

Anonymous said...


michael bardan said...

i see a comments section of an unpopular blog.

michael bardan said...

Maybe it's just me that unpopular. I do care.

michael bardan said...

where's harry when one needs him, he could explain it better using the 4 corners of a round chevalier table.

pizda hut, here i cum!

dis the white coat and c said...

Actor and comedian Bernie Mac dies at age 50
Recommend (3) | Comments (4) | Email | Share Share Facebook

AP Aug 09, 2008, By F.N. D'ALESSIO Associated Press Writer

Bernie Mac, the Emmy and Golden Globe nominated actor and comedian who worked his way to Hollywood success from an impoverished upbringing on Chicago's South Side, died Saturday at age 50.

"Actor/comedian Bernie Mac passed away this morning from complications due to pneumonia in a Chicago area hospital," his publicist, Danica Smith, said in a statement from Los Angeles.

She said no other details were available and asked that his family's privacy be respected.

The comedian suffered from sarcoidosis, an inflammatory lung disease that produces tiny lumps of cells in the body's organs, but had said the condition went into remission in 2005. He recently was hospitalized and treated for pneumonia, which his publicist said was not related to the disease.

Recently, Mac's brand of comedy caught him flack when he was heckled during a surprise appearance at a July fundraiser for Democratic presidential candidate and fellow Chicagoan Barack Obama.

Toward the end of a 10-minute standup routine, Mac joked about menopause, sexual infidelity and promiscuity, and used occasional crude language. The performance earned him a rebuke from Obama's campaign.

But despite controversy or difficulties, in his words, Mac was always a performer.

"Wherever I am, I have to play," he said in 2002. "I have to put on a good show."

Mac started his comedy career at age 8, with a standup performance at a church dinner. In 1977, at age 20, he took that act to comedy clubs in Chicago.

His film career started with a small role as a club doorman in the Damon Wayans movie "Mo' Money" in 1992. Mac went on to star in the "Ocean's Eleven" franchise with Brad Pitt and George Clooney and his turn with Ashton Kutcher in 2005's "Guess Who?" _ a remake of the Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn 1967 classic "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?" _ topped the box office.

Mac also had starring roles in "Bad Santa," "Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle" and "Transformers."

The comedian drew critical and popular acclaim with his Fox television series "The Bernie Mac Show," which aired more than 100 episodes from 2001 to 2006.

The series about a man's adventures raising his sister's three children, won a Peabody Award in 2002. At the time, judges wrote they chose the sitcom for transcending "race and class while lifting viewers with laughter, compassion _ and cool."

The show garnered Golden Globe and Emmy nominations for Mac. He also was nominated for a Grammy award for best comedy album in 2001 along with his "The Original Kings of Comedy" co-stars, Steve Harvey, D.L. Hughley and Cedric The Entertainer.

In 2007, Mac told David Letterman on CBS' "Late Show" that he planned to retire soon.

"I'm going to still do my producing, my films, but I want to enjoy my life a little bit," Mac told Letterman. "I missed a lot of things, you know. I was a street performer for two years. I went into clubs in 1977."

Mac was born Bernard Jeffrey McCullough on Oct. 5, 1957, in Chicago. He grew up on the city's South Side, living with his mother and grandparents. His grandfather was the deacon of a Baptist church.

In his 2004 memoir, "Maybe You Never Cry Again," Mac wrote about having a poor childhood _ eating bologna for dinner _ and a strict, no-nonsense upbringing.

Mac's mother died of cancer when he was 16. In his book, Mac said she was a support for him and told him he would surprise everyone when he grew up.

"Woman believed in me," he wrote. "She believed in me long before I believed."


Associated Press writer Carla Johnson also contributed to this report.

Recommend (3) | Comments (4) | Email | Share Share Facebook

qbitty said...

i shitcha not dawg, sometimes you jes gots to laff.

obama, osama, who gives a rat's coin ass i-ching my booka change anymo, this movie is burnin' up in its track:z!

Jinzang said...

care to recommend a medication track for me?


Romang said...

Whatcha gonna do. Whatcha gonna do when you they come for you

Chairman Blade said...

now jinz thinks he is a doctor..

mikey said...

Finish, Work, Improve.
Finish, Work, Improve.
Finish, Work, Improve.
Finish, Work, Improve.
Finish, Work, Improve.

Anonymous said...

Micahel Boring:

"I care"

It doesn't show. Just page after page of verbal vomit.

michael bardan said...

/clappers 0n

bell, bell, bell, bell.

Micahel Bardan said...


NONE of you CAn Even hOPE TO SEE
that I sit ZAzen!

I sIT zazen!!!! EVERYDAY! YEAH!!! DO YOU??! NOOOOO Listen to MEEEE!!!

I sit zazen. Yes. Asses.

How could I possibly say anything of value when I’m too busy SITTING ZAZEN!! YEEEAAH

If I went away I couldn’t teach you anything about how much I know MORE THAN YOU!

michael bardan said...

/clappers 0ff

1 time @6AM.kinhin (while this dude stopped by the water cooler for a chit-chat), i ran outside the zendo and walked on green dewey grass under hundred year old trees instead of carpet.

the stars said: look up!

i did.

& never looked back since.

anyway, i give a shit!

stramonium said...

"If I went away I couldn’t teach you anything about how much I know MORE THAN YOU!"

michael, I'm sure you think your thoughts are worth sharing but maybe you just want that.. maybe your red dye #2 thoughts are just staining things and are not very helpful. why should i value your thoughts when i don't place much value on my own?

Ananda said...

Once, while the Lord was staying near Kosambi in the Ghostia Park, Venerable Udayin, surrounded by a great gathering of laymen, sat teaching the Dhamma. Now, Ananda saw this, so he went to the Lord and told him, and the Lord said: "Truly, Ananda, it is not easy to teach Dhamma to others. In teaching Dhamma to others, establish well five things, and then teach. What five? Teach Dhamma to others thinking: "I will speak Dhamma in a gradual way; I will speak with the goal in mind; I will speak with kindliness; I will not speak as a means of gain; I will speak neither to my own harm, nor to the harm of others.' For truly, Ananda, it is not easy to teach Dhamma to others. So, in teaching Dhamma to others, establish well these five things."

michael bardan said...

dope, when you speak while doped on stramonium what will happen to you is that you won't be able to discern whether it's me or micahell you speak to.

see if you had any kind of insight, it wouldn't really matter what stupid anony handle i use and you'd know when you need to speak to me and you'd speak to me instead of speaking to hungry ghosts.

where were we, ananda, go fuck yourself and your teaching, i'm here only to tell braddy-chan to fuck off as well, because none of you have gotten the 6th sense of NOT TEACHING AT ALL when you clearly understand there is nothing to teach.

anyballyhoo, we're here to have fun and answer questions, so when you feel like asking me why the fuck did i not cryogenically freeze that stupid flower and poke your right eye out with the stem for grinning back at me instead of bringing me a vase filled with water, you stupid left brained monkey, THEN maybe maybe you'd understand how hard it is to speak to you assholes at all.

Anonymous said...

"THEN maybe maybe you'd understand how hard it is to speak to you assholes at all."

HAR! So you have decided it doesn't matter if you're friendly or not. It doesn't matter if you are logical or not, It doesn't matter f you are consistent or not. Are you like one of those German Nihilists from The Big Lebowski? Tell me brother Michael, What matters to you?

Winston Churchill said...

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

qbitty said...

i see because like if we can't find something to matter in common, then we can't wave together?

i am not looking for comfort in
so don't waste your breath,

michael bardan said...

I AM your teacher.



michael bardan said...

you feel that by calling me brother somehow you're friendly?

i haven't seen the big L, sissy.

still tryin' to box my ass in schroedinger's cat, eh?

yup, another nihilist, done, next.

did i not tell you already the answer is in the 1st page of the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy?

bother not to figure out the universe, for the moment you do, it'll change into something else.

one of these days when you'll do less figuring out and more sitting, perchance you'll make me laugh rather than constantly feel like puking.

your:z trooly,
cartman's grrlfriend.

michael bardan said...




Anonymous said...

barden, when you're right, you are right.. with man-boobs like yours, I should have called you SISTER. :)

that smiley was another attempt to fool you.

Anonymous said...

hey btw, have you been out to black's beach to harass any nudists lately?

michael bardan said...

no, i pass time at the cove one day harassing the seals, the next harassing the kids harassing the seal:z!

once a year i play white shark, but it's been difficult to snatch both the child and the seal it tries to taunt.

michael bardan said...

oh like i was tryin' to fool you i meant great whale, not killer emperor.

chilly willy

michael bardan said...

This morning I wiped my own ass. How kewl is that.

yoz guyz are just too stoopid to do dat.

I is 1 which is soo much cooler dan yoz.

Nunna yoz wipes yer ass as well as I doz.

I iz faaaar beta dan u guz.

I iz da bestest

Anonymous said...

100 !!!

michael bardan said...

actually, i'm too poor to buy charmin, so what i do is print out the hardcorezen comments on recycled paper, ruffle it up, then wipe my ass.

try it, you too may understand how ridiculous it gets to be all up in arms about zen blogging.

or voting.

for that matter.

Anonymous said...

Brad Warner is the Buddha of our age.

Metta, Kozlowski.

Anonymous said...

101 !


Anonymous said...

"actually, i'm too poor to buy charmin"


Anonymous said...

whatever z0tl.. mom and dad hooked you up. i can't even relate to someone in your tax bracket.

Johnny Butt-fuck-A-lot said...

Mikey Barden is actually an 11 year-old girl whom super-imposes her Lesbian will onto all Occidental males. God bless his/hers hermaphodital succubus on his/her lack of understanding of Dogen's will.

Mikey Borden,
Does your Mother KNOW you are using her blog/interface?

anony-muthafuckin-mouseO))) said...

your MOM is the b/Buddha of our age, byitch.


anony-afro-mouseO))) ya heard?

p.s. i was enlightenin yo momma last night as i was fuckin her up the ass...right before i fucked her in the face!


(i know, real mature, huh?)

Anonymous said...


Dan said...

"try it, you too may understand how ridiculous it gets to be all up in arms about zen blogging."

Says the man who writes about 40% of the comments on this blog...

micahel bardan said...

some asshole has been impersonating me in these comment:z

what are you anony-prickzz scared of?

how much of a complete LOSER do you have to be to try to copy the one and only?

seriously though,/ enough of this patronizing boolshyat

when I SAT z@z3n last night: eye chu-hua-hua!

does a complete asshole have buddhanature?

I'll let you anonyfucks decide

here's the equazhion of conservation of consciousness recurrently applied to my ass:

1xqBittyCat + 8xz0tl + 1mB) = 1 Oak Tree in the Garden + 8971230947 ants up your ass.

there is no future and no past (except as constructs of memory lanes in your brain) AND, more importantly, there is no present either.

// clapper:z off

Jules said...

What's the frequency kenneth?

michael bardan said...

/clappers 0n

dull, dull, dull, dull!

"some asshole has been impersonating me in these comment:z "

Aw gee!

"does a complete asshole have buddhanature?"

Does a complete Buddha have asshole nature?

michael bardan said...

zazen is gay, still it gets done.

/clappers 0n

bell:z (x4 - even better than threesome, because we're less gay in rinzai than you weak in pussy soto)

and finally, the kyosaku soto handy FROM THE BACK, because some soto bitch asshole that thinks it's all gay needs one stuck deep up his ass, then we'll talk whose gayer.

of course in rinzai, we'll fucking jab it up your teeth!


michael bardan said...

To the asshole impersonator above me,

YOU can TRY but you will never be as good as the original ORIGINATOR OF Z0TL and you know it!

i say this a 2nd time, politely.

stay the FUCK away from ME.

your precepts are not above the Law.

i, lowering myself to spacetime, on the other hand, AM law.




you understand nothing.

michael bardan said...

"stay the FUCK away from ME."

I'm not near you.

"you understand nothing."


michael bardan said...

hmmm indeed.



brad warner said...

/clappers 0ff

michael bardan said...

I'm really getting tired and fed up with all this. STOP trying to be ME. Imitation is not flattery.

michael bardan said...

EYE am the REAL Michael Bardan dickweed.
You have NOOOOO idea do you?

YOU are all ghosts


// clappers off

michael bardan said...

i couldn't hear those, because you commented them out...

@echo off

buddha pest said...

"Forgot About Dre"
(feat. Eminem)

[Dr Dre]
Ya'll know me still the same ol' G
But I been low key
Hated on by most these niggas
Wit no cheese, no deals and no G's, no wheels and no keys
No boats, no snowmobiles and no ski's
Mad at me cause
I can finally afford to provide my family wit groceries
Got a crib wit a studio and it's all full of tracks
To add to the wall full of plaques
Hangin up in the office in back of my house like trophies
But ya'll think I'm gonna let my dough freeze
Ho Please
You better bow down on both knees
Who you think taught you to smoke trees
Who you think brought you the o' G's
Eazy-E's Ice Cube's and D.O.C's and Snoop D O double G's
And a group that said muthafuck the police
Gave you a tape full of dope beats
To bump when stroll through in your hood
And when your album sales wasn't doin too good
Who's the doc that he told you to go see
Ya'll better listen up closely
All you niggas that said that I turned pop
Or the Firm flop
ya'll are the reason Dre ain't been getting no sleep
So fuck ya'll all of ya'll
If ya'll don't like me blow me
Ya'll are gonna keep fuckin around wit me
And turn me back to the old me

[chorus x2 - Eminem]

Nowadays everybody wanna talk like they got something to say
But nothin comes out when they move they lips
Just a buncha gibberish
And muthafuckas act like they forgot about Dre

So what do you say to somebody you hate
Or anybody tryna bring trouble your way
Wanna resolve things in a bloodier way
Just study your tape of NWA.
One day I was walkin by
Wit a walkmen on
When I caught a guy givin me an awkward eye
And strangled him off in the parkin lot wit his Karl Kani
I don't give a fuck if it's dark or not
I'm harder than me tryna park a Dodge
But I'm drunk as fuck
Right next to a humungous truck in a two car garage
Hoppin out wit two broken legs tryna walk it off
Fuck you too bitch call the cops
I'ma kill you and them loud ass muthafuckin barkin dogs
And when the cops came through
Me and Dre stood next to a burnt down house
Wit a can full of gas and a hand full of matches
And still weren't found out
From here on out it's the Chronic 2
Startin today and tomorrows the new
And I'm still loco enough
To choke you to death wit a Charleston chew
[Record scratch]
Slim shady hotter then a set of twin babies
In a Mercedes Benz wit the windows up
And the temp goes up to the mid 80's
Callin men ladies
Sorry Doc but I been crazy
There is no way that you can save me
It's ok go with him Hailey

[chorus x2]

[Dr Dre]
If it was up to me
You muthafuckas would stop comin up to me
Wit your hands out lookin up to me
Like you want somethin free
When my last cd was out you wasn't bumpin me
But now that I got this little company
Everybody wanna come to me like it was some disease
But you won't get a crumb from me
Cause I'm from the streets of Compton
I told em all
All them little gangstas
Who you think helped mold 'em all
Now you wanna run around and talk about guns
Like I ain't got none
What you think I sold 'em all
Cause I stay well off
Now all I get is hate mail all day sayin Dre fell off
What cause I been in the lab wit a pen and a pad
Tryna get this damn label off
I ain't havin that
This is the millenium of Aftermath
It ain't gonna be nothin after that
So give me one more platinum plaque and fuck rap
You can have it back
So where's all the mad rappers at
It's like a jungle in this habitat
But all you savage cats
Knew that I was strapped wit gats
When you were cuddled wit cabbage patch

[Chorus x3]

dr E said...


i wipe my ass with your theory!

qbitty said...

johnny has a shotgun,
he ain't even strong enough to cock one,
but he can hit 'em clapper:z!

i'm so fukken impressed...

r0manians are asshole:z said...

A U.S. concern
Those freed from Soviet tyranny will take hope or despair in West's response to Russian invasion

By Jim Rosapepe and Sheilah Kast

August 12, 2008

However it turns out, the current fighting between Russia and Georgia - the first major military offensive by Russia outside its borders since the invasion of Afghanistan in 1979 - is likely to have long-term consequences for the United States . Georgia 's independence and democracy deserve U.S. support in this crisis, and we should make that position clear.

When we were in Romania a decade ago, Romanians would regularly tell us that the United States was naive about Russia . Then, Russia 's economy was weak and its politics much more democratic and open than they are today. In fact, 10 years ago this month, low oil prices ($10 a barrel!) and chaotic management led Russia to default on its debt. The next year, under President Boris N. Yeltsin, Russia helped bring a peaceful end to the war in Kosovo.

But Romanians would tell us: Wait till Russia is back. When its economy rebounds and its political leadership regains self-confidence, watch out. This week, our Romanian friends are thinking, though they are too diplomatic to say it: We told you so.

Georgia 's fight with Russia is not about religion - most of the people in both nations have been Christian Orthodox for centuries. Nor is it really about land, despite the rhetoric on South Ossetia and Abkhazia, two regions of Georgia dominated by ethnic minorities. The land isn't that valuable, few Russians live there.

For Georgians, their fight with Russia is similar to America 's fight with Great Britain more than two centuries ago. They want to govern themselves, independent of Russia . Georgia is a democracy; it fears the domination of Russia , which under Vladimir V. Putin is clearly much less democratic.

It is precisely Georgian democracy and independence that Russian nationalists see as a threat. By declaring independence from Russia when the Soviet Union collapsed in 1991, Georgia transformed itself from Russia 's favorite source of good wine into a potential risk. By 2003, Georgia's "Rose revolution" brought to power a young, Columbia University-trained president, Mikhail Saakashvili, who quickly became the Energizer Bunny of Western values on Russia's border.

More dangerously, from the point of view of hard-liners in the Kremlin, Georgia 's move encouraged a similar "Orange revolution" in Russia 's much larger neighbor, Ukraine . And then Georgia campaigned hard to join NATO and the European Union.

Russian nationalists, who under Mr. Putin dominate the government, have two fears - one rational, the other not. If Georgia , a small country with a border and close historic ties with Russia , can maintain its democracy and ally with the United States and the European Union, pro-Western, democratic forces from Slovakia to Kyrgyzstan will be emboldened. And their domestic opponents, who pine for a Russia-dominated Eurasia , will be demoralized. This is the rational fear of the Putinists. The irrational fear is that if Georgia (and Ukraine ) join NATO and the EU, Russia will be less secure. The truth is that these institutions, creations of the post-World War II global order, brought Europe the longest period of peace and the greatest economic boom in its history.

What makes the current battle important to the United States is that many other countries will draw the same conclusions from the results as the Russians and Georgians do. Can Russia 's neighbors remain democratic? Can they ally with the United States ? Does their future lie with Western values?

This week, much of the world is watching the Olympics in China . But in Ukraine , people are watching Georgia too. So are the people of countries already in NATO, such as the Poles and Romanians. Are they really free of Russian domination? Or were the last two decades since the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989 just an interlude, like Georgia 's three years of independence between the fall of the Russian czar in 1918 and consolidation of Soviet Communism in 1921? Even in Western Europe and Asia, America 's friends and enemies are asking if authoritarian Russia has a bright future in world politics.

These attitudes matter to the U.S. In international relations as in investing, expectations of the future drive current decisions. For a while, the democratic model that America pioneered two centuries ago, and that countries from France to Taiwan solidified, had the momentum. We could see this in Romania in the 1990s. When NATO and EU membership became real prospects for their country, the democrats and Westernizers were emboldened and their opponents were demoralized. The results of this week's fighting in Georgia are likely to have similar consequences, but with more widespread repercussions. That's why the U.S. - and its NATO allies in Europe - needs to say clearly and publicly that we support Georgia 's right to democracy, to independence and to alliance with the West. President Bush's strong criticism yesterday of Russia's actions - and similar recent statements by Sen. John McCain and Sen. Barack Obama - are important first steps.

Whether or not the U.S. has the concrete tools, diplomatic or otherwise, to persuade Russia to reverse course now is not the only point. We were not able to reverse the Soviet Union's annexation of the Baltic countries in the late 1940s - but neither did we recognize them as legally part of the Soviet Union . Keeping hope alive for democrats around the world has been part of America 's role since 1776.

Jim Rosapepe, U.S. ambassador to Romania from 1998 to 2001 and chairman of the Maryland/Leningrad Sister State Committee from 1995 to 1997, is a Maryland state senator. Sheilah Kast, his wife, was an ABC News correspondent in Russia and Georgia during the 1991 collapse of the Soviet Union. She is host of "Maryland Morning" on WYPR-FM.

walker bush said...

420 yo i luvd phelp:z kick ass chest like blew chinamen outta water for shoe!

Michael Bardan said...

No Past, No Present, No Future = No Michael Bardan

How many Mchael Bardans are there?

michael bardan said...

incessantly you have to hear the bhagavad gita telling you, perchance then you will believe?

it's only you and i and the holy ghost.

now go to REAL NOOZ CHANNEL farky fark if you wish to investigate the infinite trifecta further than THIS!

ps: i heard the other dude chris isaac* or something died of pneumonia as well, just because he was in the same latest movie with bernie mac?

pps: where's the batman j0ker when you need him, eh?

*myth busters at, investigate for yourselve:z!


freaky turn of event:z said...


Anonymous said...

translation, anyone?

In a freakish turn of events, Isaac Hayes, who co-stars with Bernie Mac in the upcoming film Soul Men, was found dead Sunday afternoon. The 65-year-old soul singer was collapsed near a treadmill when he was discovered by a family member, according to the AP:

Hayes was pronounced dead at Baptist East Hospital in Memphis an hour after he was found by a family member, the Shelby County Sheriff's Office said. The cause of death was not immediately known.
With his muscular build, shiny head and sunglasses, Hayes cut a striking figure at a time when most of his contemporaries were sporting Afros. His music, which came to be known as urban-contemporary, paved the way for disco as well as romantic crooners like Barry White.

Younger readers will remember Isaac Hayes as the voice of Chef on South Park. I always hoped one day he'd write me a kickass theme song. Something where I'm a street-wise detective who has sex with strippers while cleaning up the streets in my tank. But, alas, it wasn't meant to be. Rest in Peace, Isaac Hayes. You were one bad motha.

chef said...

the fuck? can't even trust treadmill:z?

hairy harry said...

shit! it's the dogen royalty zangha at it again!

qbitty said...

it's okay man, they have jordan to put 'em to sleep with the new "on consignment" flute.

Anonymous said...

beat poet wannabe loser

Anonymous said...

want me to post your lat/long, anony-device user?

Anonymous said...

since we're always in fucking 'test mode' here at we gots IT, but you ain't got shit?

iGoogle said...

10-4 sergey-san 10-4

let the olympix begin already, pretty puhleeeeeeee:z?

via fark (for lazy-ass out of ritalin kid:z) said...

this debate professor finally comprehends the obvious: the quickest way to win a debate is to show 'em your ass

bookmark said...


valiant youboober:z said...

see this is like youse popular zen guys, when shit hits the fan, you'll be all in the fucking bath tub, taking bubble bath:z!


v is not for vendetta said...

it's for fucking hardcore zen.

Anonymous said...

most boring reading on hz since it started. mb is why. every effect has a cause.

romang said...

I trying to look between the words on this comments section.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

boring on.

Lou said...

Janwillem Van De Wetering said:

"That's a haemorrhoid: they are caused by meditation...Nearly all the monks suffer from haemorrhoids..."

We're not really comparing dicks anymore but assholes!

At least that puts some gender equality into this little boys club.

michael bardan said...

All of my harmful actions,
born from beginningless greed, hate, and delusion,
through body, speech, and mind,
I now fully avow.

Anonymous said...

well do you punk?

michael bardan said...

i'm afraid. you say that you love me but you might be lying.


jules said...

I love you

Smoggyrob said...

Hi everyone:

Don't forget Plan B:

STEP 1: A charismatic leader from a foreign country starts the group.

STEP 2: He names his successor, who doesn't organize the group.

STEP 3: He dies.

STEP 4: The successor dies.

STEP 5: There is no step 5.


Romang said...

I see a lot of contradickions here

michael bardan said...

/clappers Off


L33t speek is kewl. Therefore I iz kewl.
Can I haz cheebuger?

What do you mean I iz cheezburger?

Freindz anyone? I iz lonley in zaz3n, only haz computor.

michael bardan said...


I can haz blog too? Pleeze?

michael bardan said...

//Clapperz 0n

Those that can do.
Those that can't comment on blogger
Yours truly included

Sound of one hand typing??

We are all assholes.
We are all Michael Bardan.

qbitty said...

/clapper:z on each side of yo deaf ears and whoever let the dawgs out


michael bardan said...

all I ever wanted was for braddy -chan to pay attention to me/

it's so sad that he hasn't.

just in case you don't get it, even a sequoia learned to treat your pile of shit like it's pearl:z, even a fruit fly, unlike the chicken launching to get the lugie (booger pile) is smarter/wittier than you, wood pile!


I'm leaving.

When a 37 year old man is talking 1337 to get through to the kids you know something isn't right.

Any other Michael Bardans that post after this are fakes. Just so you know, Rich.

//clapper:z off

Anonymous said...

/clapper:z on

When you're facing a certain death, all this riff-raffing is blown away like quarks in a ten-thousand miles per hour wind.

Our day will come.

/clappers:z off

Anonymous said...

Our day will come
If we just wait awhile
No tears for us
Think love and wear a smile
Our dreams have magic because we'll always be
In love this way

Our day will come.

Anonymous said...

(ah... you heard it!)

Rich said...

"I'm leaving.

When a 37 year old man is talking 1337 to get through to the kids you know something isn't right."

Just let it go. Its the attachment that causes all the problems. Come and go as you please.

the talking itself makes the one into the many (subjects and objects - the many forms). breathing in, breathing out, that's IT. Thinking is OK but just let it go. don't make anything.

michael bardan said...

/clapper:z 0ff

u so retard dope, mzcubed went into wharma.blogspot 87012384710 kalpa:z ago, but your ritalin went out the moment you "copied" the profile.

it's a sad day tho, as you say, but it's a good one too, because it seems prime to start working on the maude koan...

so if you wanna be me be me
& if you wanna be you be you
coz there's a billion thing:z to do
and so it goes...

dude, the day i need a fruitfly to glorify my goddam name, i hang up the zazen hat and go hunt whales with the eskimo:z!

qbitty said...

they is acshooly thinkin' there's a coming and going.

even in a blog, there isn't, let alone everything, the universe, & life [herenow] in this spacetime context.

is it humpday yet? feels like TGIF.

qbitty said...

who stole my dog house & the clappers within it?

michael bardan said...

next time i come z@z3n my 37.8 year old ass with youse santa monican:z you beyotch in colored clown martial arts youthness best book a fucking racquetball court, so i can mop the floor with your 18 year old iGen me me me ass and better invite your fucking girlfriend too, so after you lose, i can take her for a ride with that small, shriveled dick of mine, see if she ever stops laughing at you afterward:z!

yoko said...

Brad won't bother moderating this near dead blog. He'll just kill it. Or maybe he just won't allow comments. That would work too. Good riddance to festering garbage.

Rich said...

This might be the only place in the Universe where peolple can say what they think. STOP reacting to it. Keep Not Moving Mind.

Anonymous said...

Zen blogs don't die. They're not really alive in the first place...

qbitty said...

oh, and you are?

wanted said...


Anonymous said...

common rich.. wtf is so valuable about an ignorant person spewing out fear and hatred? especially a humorless half-smart man-boy without anything to sensible to say.
this is the only place in the Universe where people can say what they think? give me a break..

michael bardan said...

oh, you can use wtf self-made humorous asshole?

i bet you're sitted high up on a dharma chair, giving teisho left and right, expounding the holiness of your transmission.

fucker, it is bodhidharma who told you, sorry, you ain't got it, holy man!

i spew fear up your zafu is what i do, because you can't even stomach a bunch of text, let me see you in sanzen, asshole, i'll let you ask me to show you mu in the goddam ocean, then i'll shove your face down your glass of water until it makes waves you asshole!

then you will ask me again about your goddam mu dog.

you spineless bitch, mocking animals in sanzen like if you can do a woot woot you can prove you rode owl ass?

you stupid retarded teacher.

wtf is ignorant about this message, bro?

bring on your goddam bowl and mantle or whatever the fuck you call your piece of shit garment by which you think you're entitled to preach your liberated version of hell!

bring it on, bitch, you let me know the zendo long/lat and i'll drive my fucking g35 in it so you can administer that hakuin beating you think i deserve!

bring IT!

punk foo badness said...

& he says you don't have a sense of humor...

chef sensei said...

now, now kid:z, settle down on your crossed blessed legs like you mean it, take that hate chi, wrap it down and right around your knees and back into your hara (this is where full lotus would help), but even if you shoot some of it sideways, it ain't all that bad & even when you're sitted in a chair and it all goes back to momma earth via thick carpet and 2 floors of air, the good ole G(ravity) always wins.

it wins against einstein's light (please don't equate love bullshit with this 1) and it wins against your pile of SHIT.



is what you are in this iteration.

as such, remember to get your daily dose of photonic beam upgrade (so that the sun can reprogram your ass correctly every morning), then remember to bow down to the green realm which lets you eat it (as salad) with much more grace than YOU, SHIT PILE, can do anything, including not reading a bunch of text when it really bothers you.

class, for next braddy-chan post, please someone bring jod da'ath's teisho, because we'll do humAn weakness study yet again.

tomorrow never is, because right now isn't either.

thus, bring the goddam teisho to class and wait for Neo to come back in a movie about The Day The Exrth (v.5.8) Stood Still, because Hollywood is still so fucking out of ideas that i ponder moving to Bollywood over NetFlix instead.


michael bardan said...


what is that man a giant iguana getting out of a pink lotus?

you ARE funny, one of these days i'll remember to make you laff yo ass off like gretzky and tiger wood:z put together on a snowboard.

of course, in exchange, you'll have to like develop me some real estate in fucking r0mania where i heard the boom is huger than trump's heyday in new york.

keep the light on for me, like you're motel 6, okay?


Rich said...

"common rich.. wtf is so valuable about an ignorant person spewing out fear and hatred?"

There is no value. And what is so valuable about people spewing out love and peace when they do not realize their true nature moment to moment?

Take all the words of this blog and all the words of Buddha and put it all down and learn in practice moment to moment your true nature.

Anonymous said...

mikey killer bee.. heh, and to think i called you humorless. you are a funny boy.

Anonymous said...

Good work, friend. Hats off... truly.

Harry said...

Brad (or whoever),

re. cults.

I must admit I get a little nervous when people repeatedly tell me what they are not going to do to me.

There's an old music business saying that goes something like:

'if someone tells you that they're not going to rip you off three times then RUN: they're going to rip you off'

When you don't rip us off I think we'll just get the real message.



Tourette's Zendrome said...

Zenny tit wank!

Michael Bardan said...

Click to see me!

Thing 1 said...

Click to see me

georgia on my mind said...

how about scroll down for some real pix, zennie:z?

Anonymous said...

sorry, i guess the whole world is interested in watching that carnage, for like 5.8 minutes, before letterman or conan the barbarian comes on?

Anonymous said...



Anonymous said...


One ball swings surrounded by self-pity. Is bardan your heir?

Anonymous said...

I have no hair! Merely appreciating effort.

Anonymous said...


"I have no hair! Merely appreciating effort."

That's a bald statement but you've lost me. Are you confusing me with someone else?

Anonymous said...

No sir, just a note of appreciation from a reader, also shaking off ptsd.

michael bardan said...

/free style z@z3n

no whistle, bell:z!

Anonymous said...

The internet's absolute favourite.

Anonymous said...


sorry, I thought you might have been someone else. Anoymice are well, anonymous.

anyone who types lower case is michael bardan said...

weeee, in other nooz, mikey ehtsch has an imaginary blog friend thanking him for his leading edge ptsd research and sudden curing techniques.

michael bardan said...

you beat me to the clap!


michael bardan said...

a fruitfly by any other name would smell as sweet. you're not fooling anyone fake michael.

quit NOW

michael bardan said...

Nu trage, Dom Semaca!

Sunt eu, Lascarica!

Anonymous said...

auzi ba frate astia nu e om
sa fiu a dreacu daca nu
imi leg lama de lantzu balizei
la 8 picioare sub nivelu' marii negre.

hai cetatea deva!

bebe said...


bula said...

imi bag pula in trotineta
da nici mustele astea nu se mai fut la mine-n farfurie!

Anonymous said...

fut, fute, futat?


qbitty said...

see if that proulx fuck has enough r0manian under his belt to translate the dog(en)ma!

alternatively, there's always someone at microsoft. or google.

take your pick.

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