Monday, July 28, 2008

COMICON SCORE: Mr. NATURAL!

I'm back from the San Diego Comic Con. While there I scored a copy of the book Comix: A History of Comic Books in America by Les Daniels. It came out in 1971 and featured a lot of then-current underground comics. I had it when I was a kid and lost it long ago. One of my favorite things in the book was the Mr. Natural comic by Robert Crumb that I have scanned and put up today. Click on it and it will open up bigger.

This is one of the first of Crumb's Mr. Natural strips. Here he is clearly called "Mr. Natural the Zen Master." Later on his designation as a Zen Master was dropped. But it's pretty clear that Crumb was referencing Zen teachers with Mr. Natural. Since he lived in San Francisco at the time he started doing the strips, I've often suspected he may have attended some of Shunryu Suzuki's talks or perhaps even had some relationship with Suzuki, Katagiri, Kobun Chino or others from San Francisco Zen Center. I don't know for certain.

Crumb usually gets it right, though, with the dialog he puts in Mr. Natural's mouth. My first teacher, Tim McCarthy was a big fan and I almost consider Mr. Natural himself as an early Zen teacher. He's often far better than supposedly legitimate books written about the subject. In this little strip he sets a very good example.

I had fun at the con. Didn't do a whole lot of what you might call "business," though I did get one deal sorta happening. We'll see if that materializes. Of course, I'm talking about my film biz work, not Zen. I was surprised to see, though, that Deepak Chopra attended the con plugging some sort of "spirituality in the comics" thing. Ha! Maybe I can get him interested in the often talked about but never acted upon graphic novel adaptation of Hardcore Zen.

I saw lots of Jedi knights there. Those robes are so close to Zen robes it's funny. I shoulda worn mine. I'd've fit right in with all the other geeks. Of course, in most senses that matter Zen people are precisely like comic book/sci-fi geeks. They do exactly the same things. And when they get together they act exactly the same way — always trying to out-geek the other geeks.

The thing with sci-fi geeks is that at home they're usually the only guy who's an expert in, like, Klingon syntax or whatever. Then when they get together with a bunch of geeks, suddenly their uniqueness is threatened. The response is to try and recover that uniqueness by out-geeking the other geeks. Totally the same thing happens in Zen places. It's hilarious! At some Zen factories (Eiheiji, Sojiji and all the rest included) it's even institutionalized with stuff like color coded rakusus (bib thingies that Zen geeks wear) to show you at a glance who's higher on the scale of Zen geekdom.

One day when the Jedi knights get their stuff more together maybe they'll have retreat centers and all the rest too. The San Diego Convention Center will become a place of holy pilgrimage. Hey, stranger things have happened. Look at Scientology.

225 comments:

1 – 200 of 225   Newer›   Newest»
Roman G. said...

Jedi and zen priests are so similar is that zen priests were the inspiration for the Jedi. There are loads of examples to support this but the most obvious one was in the last movie: Yoda and Anakin Skywalker actually have a formal dokusan session.

Check out the book "The Dharma of Star Wars" for an in depth exploration of this.

Anonymous said...

Yoda was modeled after Suzuki-roshi. I know from first hand that Lucas' wife was attending Suzuki-roshi's lectures.

Small guy who speaks weird riddled English. Not so hard.

Anonymous said...

starwars geeks are great.. they are so funny. I love them.

jim haisin said...

any insights that R. Crumb had were due more to his LSD use than to any zen practice.

From a Time Mag Interview -

HUGHES: Did you at any time share that view that was so prevalent at Haight Ashbury and other "great centers of world learning" that dropping 250 mics was going to somehow or other induct you into a better world, which if everybody else dropped along with you would then turn out to be kind of utopia?

CRUMB: Yes I did believe that, I'm embarrassed to say. I remember preaching that to people.

HUGHES: It was a kind of self-congratulation in a way.

CRUMB: Well, no because all the hippies that took LSD felt that, in the beginning with some actual validity, that they had perceived a lot of things that were wrong with the direction that industrial civilizations was going. And this was all suddenly revealed very clearly. It got fogged over a bit with all the other crazy stuff that was going on but in the beginning when you took LSD you saw that there was something all wrong with this whole set-up here. "We've got to get back to the land. We gotta get back to nature. We gotta get rid of all this polluting chemical nonsense. We've got to stop this. It's unhealthy for the planet." It all became viscerally clear. It all became suddenly life threatening. All these cars coming at you.

HUGHES: Well it was life threatening..

CRUMB: But in a normal state you just kind of adapt to it. But [on LSD] it all just seemed totally insane.

Mysterion said...

"The San Diego Convention Center will become a place of holy pilgrimage."

Every recurring journey becomes a holy pilgrimage... the throne of the sacred dump, etc.

Every recurring breath becomes a holy pilgrimage until 'the breath returns unto god, who breathed it' to quote the actual meaning of Ecclesiastes, Chapter 12, verse 7. (Illiterate fools need not respond).

But as for comics revealing truth, I concur. Sometimes the truth is too painful to bear in direct communication - which is why the pop media is so utterly useless and devoid of any authentic information.

Young Lust took on North Korea LANG before the holy neoCONs appeared as brown stains on the rims of our toilets. Click on the pix to advanve thru the comix.

Mysterion said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
110 said...

The Katzenjammer Kids, turned 110 years old Dec 12, 2007. Created by Rudolph Dirks and appearing in William Randolph Hearst's New York Journal on December 12, 1897, the strip was among the very first. It also established the language and format of the comic strip and, therefore, the comic book.

Dirks left Hearst to work for Joe Pulitzer and his New York World, taking his characters with him. Hearst sued. Hearst owned the name "The Katzenjammer Kids."

Dirks renamed his feature 'The Captain and the Kids.'
source

Anonymous said...

stop fucking yourself

Gimmal said...

the scale of zen geekdom -- that is a refreshing view.

I see that I have taken some things too seriously. I notice, now, that it really does not carry the point, "This is worth more attention than a shallow notice would be." If it may be "useful" towards towards dramatic impetus, but if one is not acting on stage, then maybe dramatic impetus is less than it's cracked up to be.

Going to go read some Camus or something ....

Anonymous said...

Ralph Snart was pretty good.

michael bardan said...

What I want to know is when we're going to have the Choprah Venom Collection Institute with support from Stephen Irwin Foundation for Wild Sting Ray:Z!

Yet another fucking PCOM graduate who should just fucking go back to Bangalore and help the Indian Tech Support Industry provide better care for Dell.

Either that or just GO FUCK YOURSELF AND THE ELEPHANT YOU RODE ON INTO THIS COUNTRY and after that GO HELP THAT FUCKER shaymalanicalistical he ain't done a good movie since fucking I SEE DEAD PEOPLE and the goddam venus plant should eat his ass for the way he mangled THE HAPPENING.

It's called a ONE SHOT wonder, may you remain in your VILLAGE for the remaining of this Milennium.

qbitty said...

PSA: please see The Order of Myths.

in theaters now.

The Order of Myth:Z

Anonymous said...

Now that you have successfully co-opted Zen from this generation are you actually going to do anything about it?
Endless self-promotion, I mean come on now... Let's fucking do something interesting and expressive, let's be Zen in the face of the NWO. Let's fucking move into a totally in way of thinking...

Anya said...

Brad of course is well above the fray of the zen geek hierarchy. He is the only one who really gets it.

Odd & Ends said...

Hey Brad - ping... an idea.

You might land a weekly of bi-weekly gig at PRS in LA.

I think they would be open to a series of lectures by a 'certified' Zen Monk.

Just a thought... they have an 'established crowd' of followers

Anonymous said...

Plant you now one small seed
with sifted soil let it grow
but it's not the random weed
you select with care to sow

let your idea be just one
of harmony and gentle grace
worry not that lacking sun
stormy winds reduce to waste

that idea sheltered
in the tiny window
behind your eye

michael bardan said...

you stupid fucks, isn't he preaching enough w0rds as it is, now you want him to do more zen commentary?

hasn't he done enough on the soundtrack of Zen Noir movie?

dear people, especially those of you fruitfly enough that YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA what your sensei is doing.

!!!! GO FUCK YOUR SELVES !!!!

qbitty said...

*yaza* no clapper:z no bell:z

remember, curiosity killed the cat, but only if it was on its 9th life.

qbitty said...

/chanting period 0n|0ff

try saying Mu while Meowing at the same time replacing Ommmmmm with UmmmmmVvvvvvZzzzzzz.

do that until morning sitting which starts at 5 AM.

i trust someone is wise enough to ring the bell for me?

michael bardan said...

the sleepy hallows of our righteous godzilla suit:z dissolving gently in the current sound:

or, as jewel put it, she's from sandy eggo too, but sometimes claims alaska:

don't move
this mood is a painting
we'll never find the ending

ping,
pingg,
pinggg,
pinggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

DJ Voton said...

There is a huge geek factor in Zen: unsurprising, considering that both involve sitting on your ass for hours on end.

qbitty said...

/DRUNKEN KIN-HIN

be the pussywillow crossed with bamboo stick and walk yo ass in a slow elipsis.

you know what braddy-chan, i think you fucking have to go back to that guy who talked about bringing a foot from emptiness and ask him how the fuck do i put it in my mouth, SIR?

Anonymous said...

nazi buddhism
beatnik buddhism
hippie buddhism
punk buddhism
hiphop buddhism
shit buddhism

What is Buddhism? said...

"And what is stress? Birth is stressful, aging is stressful, death is stressful; sorrow, lamentation, pain, distress, & despair are stressful; not getting what one wants is stressful.2 In short, the five clinging-aggregates are stressful. This is called stress.

"What is the origination of stress? The craving that makes for further becoming — accompanied by passion & delight, relishing now here & now there — i.e., craving for sensuality, craving for becoming, craving for non-becoming. This is called the origination of stress.

"And what is the cessation of stress? The remainderless fading & cessation, renunciation, relinquishment, release, & letting go of that very craving. This is called the cessation of stress.

"And what is the way of practice leading to the cessation of stress? Just this very noble eightfold path: right view, right resolve, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, right concentration. This is called the way of practice leading to the cessation of stress.

michael bardan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Blake said...

Have you seen the list of people there?

Tori Amos (she has a comic book coming out??)
Deepak Chopra (that Buddha comic)
Dean Koontz
Method Man (peddling Right Guard?)
Myth Busters
Matt Groening

I heard that members of the American Library Association was there looking at Manga? I never thought of heading out there on business. Hmmm...

Obi Wan Kenobi said...

Brad sed:

"One day when the Jedi knights get their stuff more together maybe they'll have retreat centers and all the rest too."

"The family name of Skywalker is highly religious – shamanic: a walker of the sky. It links perfectly with the Jedi – an order of warrior knights, apparently based on the Knights Templar, in which both father Anakin and son Luke are being trained." source

INSIDER

Templars in brief.

The Dark Force.

The Jesuits are dark side sweethearts.

The Templars carry the force. hey are no different from the monks who fought with the brits (who only wanted to sell opium in China).

Anonymous said...

Brad, the "Jedi" knights DO have retreat centers.

Anonymous said...

hush my young one.

PhilBob-SquareHead said...

I'll take Charles Schulz and Peanuts any ol' day for philosophical wisdom.

Lucy/Rinzai-Snoopy/Soto

A cretin. said...

"Profound. It's two o'clock, Pilade's about to close, and we still haven't gotten to the lunatics."

"I'm getting there. A lunatic is easily recognized. He is a moron who doesn't know the ropes. The moron proves his thesis; he has a logic, however twisted it may be. The lunatic, on the other hand, doesn't concern himself at all with logic; he works by short circuits. For him, everything proves everything else. The lunatic is all idee fixe, and whatever he comes across confirms his lunacy. You can tell him by the liberties he takes with common sense, his flashes of inspiration, and by the fact that sooner or later he brings up the Templars."

-Eco, "Fouault's Pendulum," Harcourt 1989. (Translated from the Italian).

My humble contribution to Balbo's taxonomy: some lunatics are at least willing to admit it; others willingly believe in their own crap. (And are doomed to forever post poseur comments on other people's blogs.)

b.cretin said...

Anyone who uses the word poseur is just that. How many weeks did it take you to look up that quote?

e.cretin said...

lil' earthquake!

heads up from an aztec warrior said...

Bardan, one of these days Newhouse is going to figure this out and go looking at how much of his resources you're using on all this.

Our address is all over your domain info, and you really need to be careful about this racist kung fu master stuff you're posting!!!!! Do you really think the school's going to back you up when somebody calls you out on it???

Anonymous said...

wow.

Master DLR said...

check out me pipes !!!

Jordan said...

I just saw the news about the earthquake. Hope your all OK down there.

Rich said...

LSD and Zen were bed partners in the day of Haze Hashbury.

If you remember it, you weren't THERE.

Me, I don't remember. I might have been there. I might have been here. I might have been in the out group. I might have been out of the in group.

Anonymous said...

michael maybe you should edit posts. elephant thing maybe not popular w/unix guys

Anonymous said...

he who heh-hehs last has the best heh-heh!

Rich said...

Timothy Leary felt that everone should try LSD at least once, but I don't agree with that because some people need to approach the truth slowly and deliberately like Z0tl the Micheal Bardan and his alias.

Imperial Valley said...

Aztecs like as in San Diego State?

bardan, so you didn't notice that half the posters on this blog are in SoCal?

Anyway, you could always just say you didn't really mean all that stuff about kicking our asses if you ever saw us.

Cuz if you're in Imperial Valley, then you might end up seeing a couple people who read these.

Swami Hooyathinkya R said...

hey michael:
Oshin was an o.k. series...

yan can cook said...

Brad sed:

"Hey, stranger things have happened. Look at Scientology."

With all due respect Ven., I would rather not look. I might see THIS.

or worse... this

Anonymous said...

Thanks Brad.

I asked the Senior Dharma student about the robes and kasas and stuff - because it seems silly to me. He did not disagree - said it promoted together action. While I still go, sit, talk to the Zen Master, I do not participate in the rituals.

Your comments help!

mountaintop hippy said...

"Timothy Leary felt that everone should try LSD at least once, but I don't agree with that"

Me neither. Give it a real chance...should try it at least a dozen times. Look at poor brad, he tried it like 5 times and thinks he's an expert, drugs are bad, fry your brain, blah blah blah. It's like sitting zazen 5 times and proclaiming you understand all this zen stuff and dismiss it as b.s.

Yeah, once upon a time lsd and zen were bed partners. Acid is what originally led a bunch of us to practice zen back when brad was a pre-schooler. As acid became more scarce in the u.s. and what little was available became weaker, interest in zen began to subside as well. Now everyone's into Jesus instead.

michael bardan said...

so basically whatchu guys are saying is brad warner over here is forever unemployable in a serious job, because if you are a true zen practitioner (ie, never afraid of speaking instinctively, without concern of political corectness and other bullshit) then there's no way you can hold a real job other than shaved head in a monk begging for food?

you petty little socal assholes. what do my opinions on the internet have to do with my employer and/or my job performance?

ps: i'm a member of a union. just for that reason, that assholes like you exist. at least if you say shit like this, PUT YOUR REAL NAME DOWN YOU SLIMEBALL.

back me up? you bloody fool, if i'm ever forced to leave state i'll get a job making twice the money overnight.

yes, i'm THAT good, asshole & the reason i'm at state is so that young fucks like you can look up to someone.

otherwise it's all fool of cubicles with people who have dilbert drawings talking about "i need to check my brains at the door b4 i come into work."

anyway, i'm disappointed to no end that wanna-be zen folks, with STRAIGHT SPINE can come up with this type of low ballin'.

your aztec royalty can kiss my vampire ass, dope! get back on da chronic, you deluded frat boy.

michael bardan said...

let me reiterate this because it is important:

this thing we're trying to solve here, this Great Matter, has to do with life and death.

if you think somehow that you can do this while worrying about losing a job, then just hang up the hat (errr, robe) right now and call it quits and go build a bhodi at the local 24hrs fitness center or practice some yoga calistenix with a nice relaxing mantra.

THIS IS ZEN and the one i practice is RINZAI which calls for even MORE SHOOTING FROM THE HIP, SPLIT THE ARROW WITH ANOTHER ONE.

i give a shit about a job, man, any job, even if it were the president of like a country liek.

i am who i am and i know who i am, so fuck off, don't ever try to talk to me about a job and when i post and how.

just copy and paste (and out of context too please) and forward to newhouse or HR or wherever and see how far YOUR BLOODY KARMA carries you, fucking spineless fool:z!

michael bardan said...

and for the third time, measuring dicks with me ain't gonna work bro.

the guy to my right has a black belt with 8 dans in something, the guy to my left is a marine and as you can see in my profile, i have a dog tag too, whatchu gonna do rah-rah chuhuahua, give me a blue eye?

i am sick and tired of dealing with you little hormonal fucks.

GROW UP or get the hell out of zen and do something else for a while, this isn't a fucking sport.

qbitty said...

mew-mewwwwWWWWheeeheehihi

now what, virtuous zenhole:z?

*yaza* the bell is in yo head.

life goes on said...

do i looked bogged down in some kind of 8 days theory?

do i look like my biggest fear is that "of reincarnation?"

you want me to reconnect with you 4oo years back in zaire?

my name is shawn lennon and we are jurASSic 5.

represent, contact, 5oo,ooo years ago, los angeles, cali,

did we land yesterday or what?

8

gover8r said...

yAh, mAn,

I give a sh!t.

They took my Austrian citizenship away (read I shit on their Austrian citizenship, I am American and fixing Cali now), but you think I pay attention to gnats at State?

Fuck'em! They will work like me, man, FOR ONE DOLLAH, before they bow down to SLIMEBALL.

AnonAndOnAndOn said...

i am sick and tired of dealing with you little hormonal fucks.

Aw gee. Poor little z0tl can give it not take it. Mawbe the big bad zennists will leave him be and get out of his blog.

Hah-hahahah-HA-ha-HAH said...

FDNY

v

LAFD

you think?

there'll be a Pacific and an Atlantic UNITED under ONE TRUMP, before we fuck around wessssigh v eassssigh again!

there's G8 and pink floyd won't come to the States, because a monkey is trampling up and down our throat:z and you think i give a shit about your Imperial Valley, Man?

there will be an imperial trench is what's left here if indeed you weren't so stupid to sell your house at 80% discount, just because these motherfuckers are telling you on TV that the economy is collapsing.

NOTHING COLLAPSES, YOU FUCK!

it's the normal cycle down, throttle launch preparation going on before the election.

The States have never been healthier and better prepared to take the ooomph out of the EU/Japan conglomerate of import cars, but you fucker instead of buying a CHRYSLER SEBRING which is now the SAME QUALITY CAR as a M-BENZ and why, because I-a-COCK-a up their throats stole all their technology while the gnat:z thot up to buy US, what do you do, again?

You sell your House back to DeutscheBank (and that includes T-Mobile which is Deutsche Telekom) for NOTHING.

Feel free, I for one AM BUYING.

Both a brand new American Car AND a foreclosed Home.

Right here, UP A NEW HILL, across the Aztec Football Field.

michael bardan said...

this niggah is stoppin thei' tape!

pa-pa-pa...

THIS NIGGER IS STOPPIN' THEIR TAPE!

papa-pap-smear-your-throat for an infection, man, perchance you caught a bad cough in your central lung lately?

pap-pap-pap.

at a time when some SLIMEBALL says to me "anonymously straight up" that there indeed is "a doctor & a cinch" you come back to me for backup to my racist elephant "statement?"

here's another statement, repeated for the THIRD TIME:

!!!! stay the FUCK away from US !!!!

go find your liberation elsewhere. i for one am working on the part where i'm sitting in place and you are shitting your pants dancing all inside me and all outside me.

wanna jerk off in my mouth to test my understanding of your cement floor?

Dr. Mengele said...

let them be, at least their kids are plumpy.

dr. karadzic said...

yep, psychiatric genocide is only happening in former yugoslavia.

tom cruise said...

yeah, man, i'm a lunatic scientologist jumping up and down on oprah's couch.

and the armenian fuck who's leading the crusade against our kids at the VA is worthy of brooke shield:z post partum depression.

where art thou you TOXIC BRITNEY when 1 needs you?

MADONNA IS COMING TO SANDY EGGO.

I GIVE A FUCK. MAN. I GIVE A FLYING FUCK. ABOUT YOU. YOUR THICK DOOR CREW. I'M COMING FOR YOU, YOU FUCK. 1-on-1 AS ANY KID DESERVES WHEN IT COMES TO A LABEL YOU SLAM ON THEIR BACK FOR LIFE.

for each and every 1 of those kids you labeled for life, I AM COMING FOR YOU.

michael bardan said...

*holding a daisy*

AMEN

Dan said...

"GROW UP or get the hell out of zen and do something else for a while, this isn't a fucking sport."

Gudo Nishijima has always said that zazen is much closer to a sport than anything else. I think that's true.

qbitty said...

California love!

1-California...knows how to party
California...knows how to party
In the citaaay of L.A.
In the citaaay of good ol' Watts
In the citaaay, the city of Compton
We keep it rockin! We keep it rockin!

Verse One: Dr. Dre

Now let me welcome everybody to the wild, wild west
A state that's untouchable like Elliot Ness
The track hits ya eardrum like a slug to ya chest
Pack a vest for your Jimmy in the city of sex
We in that sunshine state with a bomb ass hemp beat
the state where ya never find a dance floor empty
And pimps be on a mission for them greens
lean mean money-makin-machines servin fiends
I been in the game for ten years makin rap tunes
ever since honeys was wearin sassoon
Now it's '95 and they clock me and watch me
Diamonds shinin lookin like I robbed Liberace
It's all good, from Diego to tha Bay
Your city is tha bomb if your city makin pay
Throw up a finger if ya feel the same way
Dre puttin it down for
Californ-i-a
(repeat 1)

2-Shake it shake it baby
Shake it shake it baby
Shake it shake it mama
Shake it Cali
Shake it shake it baby
Shake it shake it shake it shake it...

Verse Two: 2Pac

Out on bail fresh out of jail, California dreamin
Soon as I step on the scene, I'm hearin hoochies screamin
Fiendin for money and alcohol, the life of a Westside player
where cowards die, and the strong ball
Only in Cali where we riot not rally to live and die
In L.A. we wearin Chucks not Ballies (yeah, that's right)
Dressed in Locs and khaki suits and ride is what we do
Flossin but have caution we collide with other crews
Famous because we throw grands
Worldwide let 'em recognize from Long Beach to Rosecranz
Bumpin and grindin like a slow jam, it's Westside
so you know the Row won't bow down to no man
Say what you say, but give me that bomb beat from Dre
Let me serenade the streets of L.A.
From Oakland to Sac-town, the Bay Area and back down
Cali is where they put they mack down, give me love!
(rpt 1)

(dre) now make it shake...

(rpt 2)

Outro: Dre, 2Pac

uh, yeah, uh, longbeach in tha house, uh yeah
Oaktown, Oakland definately in tha house hahaha
Frisko, Frisko
(Tupac) hey, you know LA is up in this
Pasadina, where you at
yeah, Ingelwood, Ingelwood always up to no good
(Tupac) even Hollywood tryin to get a piece baby
Sacramento, sacramento where ya at? yeah

Throw it up y'all, throw it up, Throw it up
Let's show these fools how we do this on that west side
Cause you and I know it's tha best side

yeah, That's riight
west coast, west coast
uh, California Love
California Love

Anonymous said...

you know what i think, danny-ji, that those people who point out the dickness of others, like you did when you screamed at tim da'ath for daring to analyze the 3 weeknesses of the human species from a place where he just could no longer identify with the race, i think that has NO PLACE in the mind of someone who practices any kind of sport.

for as long as you give a shit what that stupid fuck gudo nishijima is telling you and you can't open 2 goddam eyes of your own and LOOK, you are a stupid dead fish in japan's radioaktive water:z!

mihail eminescu said...

si la nunta mea, a cazut o stea.

george carlin said...

/chanting period 0n

dharani for earth.

qbitty said...

/zazen clappers 0n

ding,
dong,
dang,
bang!

Dan said...

you know what i think, danny-ji, that those people who point out the dickness of others, like you did when you screamed at tim da'ath for daring to analyze the 3 weeknesses of the human species from a place where he just could no longer identify with the race, i think that has NO PLACE in the mind of someone who practices any kind of sport.


for as long as you give a shit what that stupid fuck gudo nishijima is telling you and you can't open 2 goddam eyes of your own and LOOK, you are a stupid dead fish in japan's radioaktive water:z!"

I think you may have me confused with someone else. theres more than one dan posting on this blog. Who's Tim d'aath anyway?

why is gudo nishijima a stupid fuck?
if you disagree that zazen is similar to a sport what would you classify it as?

qbitty said...

/shaolin snake kinhin bell

while you don't understand one voice expresses all our voices, let's bring an empty foot into my mouth and you go practice the reading of previous posts while we troll around sleep walking.

Dan said...

qbitty is zotl and michael bardan right?

in which case:

why is gudo nishijima a stupid fuck?
if you disagree that zazen is similar to a sport what would you classify it as?


To go back to the original post, I didnt know that the 'jedis' actually had a proper church type set up. I wonder if they have meetings anywhere in london. Does anyone know?

I'm writing an article about cults for a magazine and I'm planning to spend some time hanging out with some cults. the weirder the better. can anyone reccommend any cults that they have experienced in one way or another that have branches in the london area?

thanks

Anonymous said...

"if you disagree that zazen is similar to a sport what would you classify it as?"

hmmm...

you know how everything your see is seen in front of your eyeballs? everything. zen is like your eyeballs.

oh forgive me huang po :-(

The Who said...

i don't need to fight
To prove I'm right.

Anonymous said...

I write 100% of this blog AND the comment:z section as well.

Barry said...

I write the songs that make the whole world sing.

michael bardan said...

when i say gudo is a stupid fuck it is no different than when i say michael bardan is a racist pig who needs to get lynched for what he writes here.

/w0rk practice

some1 please go back and find jod (tim) da'ath comment on the 3 weaknesses of the human species.

THAT is our RIDDLE for this virtual sesshin i am trying to run here.

& do i believe i am helping any1?

of course there was ONE commenter who said fuck you bradster sensei, i don't see value in a zendo to be run by you, i sit at home.

i happen to sit at home too.

thus i speak to the one who sits at home and is disgusted with the low/shallow quality of zen practice.

i am not out to insult you (because i cannot do that) unless you insult yourself.

again i say: sticks and stones can break my bones, but w0rds can only hurt me if i let them.

if you are serious about zazen, you cannot possibly put any weight whatsoever on w0rds.

however, you can put a lot of weight on the action behind w0rds.

sort of like: my integrity speaks for itself.

however here in blog world we want to speak to more than just you and because we aren't as skilled as the buddha who could speak one sentence and teach on 3 levels (for f-student, for c-student, for a-student), we must approximate and often we fail miserably.

thus forgive me, for i know not what i say most of the time, still if you murder me for saying it, that won't do jackshit to me (paradoxically), but it will saddle you with a shitload of hellish karma.

thus precept #1: i kill not.

precept #2: fuck you! you don't exist anyway, push my buttons (ie, lay a finger on me) and see what happen:z!

shaker baker said...

'Both a brand new American Car AND a foreclosed Home.'

Just living out the American dream, hey Mikey?

Ever find your Infiniti? now that is a quality ride.

Almost as nice as a BMW.

Anonymous said...

disgusted...

what is the source of that echo?
(cue floyd)

integrity...

no doubt! no doubt!

michael bardan said...

i paid it off so whoever steals it gets a better bang for their buck.

i live next to the trolley station and can ride the bike into work.

1 of these days i'll stop defending myself, yet i do it, because the young bucks need to believe and so they need "proof" of concept.

james.stratton.crawley said...

Illegal Meditations and Self-Investigations

You are illegal. You’re the scene of a crime called intelligence, called awareness, called humanity. It’s called all sorts of things, but I assure you it is illegal and there are some very powerful people who would rather you not be doing any of it.

Your entire life is not a coincidence. It is the scene of a crime. That crime is YOU WAKING UP. How did it happen?

You must investigate yourself.

One meditation exercise I described to a friend was to imagine you were not from here. That you had been sent here on a mission you couldn’t recall and that every single tiny thing you did had an effect on the outcome of that mission. As a matter of fact, your memories are more propaganda and imagination than relevant to tracing your path, so we must for the sake of this exercise proceed deeply into the Now, whether through normal breathing exercises, following our heart into the warmth of our lifeforce or other mindfulness techniques.

Once you are in the Now, and prepared to discount any thought-waves that might be memory oriented, you can begin our self-investigation. You can start from right where you are and as soon as you’ve finished reading. The person who has been living this life is no longer you, but henceforth referred to as ‘the Suspect’.

Look at the things around you. Who is this person, this Suspect, you’ve just arrived into? Are there immediate things about the Suspect’s body that you notice, small habitual movements or marks that indicate that some form of past may be relevant to the present situation. Don’t go to the place the marks or habits came from and create a story about it. You must bring them into the present moment with you and keep them here with you rather than let your mind trail off into its cause-and-effect storytelling.

There are clues in the books lying around, even the ones the Suspect has bought but hasn’t read. There are clues in the decorations of the house, or the place the Suspect works, in the clothes being worn. Do not move anything from the crime scene at this point and take notes if you absolutely must (be careful, the Suspect may occasionally return during this exercise and you will have to hide what you’ve been doing).

You are looking for traces of a life that has been going on without your express attention. It is not YOUR life, remember, it is a crime scene that you have just now arrived into. You have no obligations to its past or its future, only to the ’smoking gun’.

What is the crime? What is this person up to? What can you deduce about their motives and agenda. Remember that no matter how much you feel that you may in fact BE this person you’re investigating, you have no proof of that. For the sake of argument, and for this exercise, the notion that you ARE in fact the person you are investigating is sheer psychotic delusion. Memory is propaganda and misinformation ONLY. Remain detached and clinical and present.

Notice the assumptions you make about this person based on what you find and notice when you make your judgements. Remember that you need to gather evidence and build a case: innocent until proven guilty.

Can you find, in the environment, at the scene of the crime, any indications of the material that may have led this person to do the forbidden, insane act of actually attempting to awaken? It is bold defiance to attempt to break conditioning and thus waste hundreds of millions of dollars that has been spent in order to assure that similar people do not wake up, do not question, do not think deeply about life? Find the clues.

Perhaps most of all there are clues in the relationships the Suspect is engaged in. You are permitted to disguise yourself as the Suspect: you have a magical advantage right now in that you currently look the same (though others may be keen and notice you are behaving oddly, so beware… that is, be aware.) See what you can find out about who this criminal has been talking to recently. You will find various sorts of Influences, it is recommended that you examine how these people impact you with their presence. Which ones have been dutifully dragging ‘you’ down, numbing ‘your’ consciousness and doing what they can to be poisonous?

Especially, watch out for people who are offering new doors or ‘gateways’ to further thought-crime. You will recognize these people because they offer exciting possibilities into the unknown and are often fairly chaotic Influences in the life of the Suspect. They may have recently provided the Suspect with grandiose shifts in self-definition and identity. They may have freed energy up for the Suspect so that they have more time and resources to pursue freedom.

Such Influences may suggest that the Suspect begins to act pragmatically. They may encourage the Suspect to explore new thought, engage in physical activities, eat healthy and may in extreme cases enable the Suspect to think critically and solve problems creatively.

Make note of what these Influences introduce into the Suspect’s lives because this evidence is vital to our understanding of the methods in which terrorist grassroots organizations are attempting to level the playing field. Any awareness increasing evidence should be collected and removed from the Suspect’s environment.

Enjoy your meditations.

Anonymous said...

very nice writing!

I used to stare into a mirror until I was convinced I was the reflection.

Way to represent, Bardan! said...

Bardan, I know Jessica Rentto well enough to know that she'll have some questions for Newhouse, especially in light of your recent posts.

I also know for a fact that Valerie Carter's getting a lot of questions about network security given what's going on in SF. You might want to get your personal stuff off the network and update that GoDaddy info.

Lastly, if you're really in CSUEU, then you should already know that your local won't waste its time or our dues defending you for posting racist comments at work. Go talk to Flahan and Young before you make promises on their behalf.

Call it karma, or sticks and stones or buttons or whatever, but take your own advice and consider about the consequences of your actions.

Dan said...

"you know how everything your see is seen in front of your eyeballs? everything. zen is like your eyeballs."

ok. (assuming michael b wrote that). Surely it's possible to think of zazen like that without having to disagree that it is like a sport no?

"when i say gudo is a stupid fuck it is no different than when i say michael bardan is a racist pig who needs to get lynched for what he writes here."

ok but why do you think Gudo Nishijima is a stupid fuck? What has he done or said that caused you to think that?

Mike H said...

z0tl,barden,wtf:

What you call Zen practice seems seriously fucked up.

You've learnt a few words, maybe had a few flashes of insight but beyond that you are running on vapour.

If you are as serious as you want people to believe you are then stop jerking off on someone elses blog and go find a Zen teacher.

Maybe Brad can teach you about zen, maybe some other guy can.

Either way whatever you are doing doesn't seem to be doing you much good.

Sitting at home is fine for some people and not for others. It's fine for beginners and it's fine for adepts but people in-between can run into instability issues without someone to watch their back.

OBTW Zen and work do mix very well together. Blogging and work, not so much.

Mike.

shaker baker said...

Looking back, I can see that I was pretty much a complete asshole. Sometimes I think I didn't know what was going on at all. I had deep flaws which made me deeply inconsiderate of others. It wasn't my intention, that I know, but I was unwilling and unable to see my flaws too.

Dan said...

Michael/Zotl,

Judging by your writing style I think you would enjoy my friend's travel writing here.

You might like it anyway.

Mysterion said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
michael bardan said...

you throw names at me?

good luck investigating where and who wrote the posts.

ps: monday tuesday i stayed at home sick with bronchitis.

pps: i practice with mitra bishop sensei at http://www.hvzc.org where they are presently running a 7 days sesshin.

ppps: my union representative is tim maides. giddy up, bro, i'm so scared i tremble in my undies.

Mysterion said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Dan,

The mind comparing zen to sport (or anything)...

the 'mind comparing' is also located in front of the eyeballs...

yes, I can see why it is interesting to make that comparison and if that mental activity motivates you to sit more and investigate your moment to moment experience, great!

not_mb

Anonymous said...

yes, the 'mind explaining' is too :-P

that's why I beg Huang Po's forgiveness.

Anonymous said...

mike_h...

your blog is back!
turn on anonymous comments!
c'mon!
pleeze?

Anonymous said...

your writing is the best thing I've read since proust!

michael bardan said...

more defense needed, SLIMEBALL?

my family owns 100+ acres of forested hills + river & mill.

you think i give a shit about a job?

you think i give a shit about a passport?

after this country did what it did to me, i can tell you 1 thing only:

!!!! SO HELP YOU GOD !!!!

!!!! LIKE YOU ARE HELPING YOUR CHILDREN !!!!

i earned this citizenship by actually putting my life on the line to escape communist r0mania.

and for what? man. for what?

to find out i now live in another mccarthy era and the days of charlie chaplin extradition.

I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO NO ONE & I TAKE THE 5TH FOR ANYTHING I MIGHT EVER BE ASKED HENCEFORTH.

Anonymous said...

"my family owns 100+ acres of forested hills + river & mill."

dude wtf!?

let's build a monastery!

Mysterion said...

my family owns an iron garbage can.

we can set it alight and BBQ road kill & roots after the Bush Economy is finished with us.

does anybody "own" anything?

at best we are temporary custodians of the land we 'believe' we own. the land is the legacy our children's children will 'believe' they inherited from us. if we leave it much worse for wear and abuse this resource with chemical poisons then it is only our children's children we are poisoning.

the question becomes: "How much do you detest children?"

think on this.

Anonymous said...

mysterion caps the verse, as always.

as for building monastery? my head has already completed construction.

i'm thankful still for as long as i can prostrate under a showerhead that provides hot vernal fall:z for me!

all i can do is vote for CHANGE.

but how can you possibly vote for CHANGE when CHANGE is all there is and ever was and ever will be?

THIS IS CHANGE AS WELL.

Anonymous said...

it doesn't matter whether you're in 318 or not, Mr. B. It doesn't matter whether you tell the truth here. Everything will be sorted out. (By HR and audit, apparently; karma works in mysterious ways.)

I'm truly sorry that awful things have happened to you.

But surely there are those who have suffered far more than you and I. Each of us suffers, and each of us decides whether to use this suffering as an excuse.

You may have jeopardized your livelihood with pride and hate, and now you're begging for conflict so that you can remain the victim. As long as you can blame, you can hide.

Does this practice take you closer to reality, or father from it?

Do you even know any more whether you're telling the truth?

I'll hang up and listen for your answer.

Anonymous said...

This blog comment section is a thought dumpster.

michael bardan said...

yes, it takes me Father from IT.

michael bardan said...

let me let you take a pick:

A. Michael Bardan v Kaiser Permanente

B. Michael Bardan v Kaiser/Eli Lilly/GSK

C. Michael Bardan v CSU

D. Michael Bardan v Your Ego

because i'm struggling really, really hard to play D, but if you push and push and push, i will play ABC, just like dr. seuss.

Anonymous said...

"My friends!" cried the elephant.
"Tell me! Do tell!
Are you safe? Are you sound?
Are you whole? Are you well?"
Horton Hears a Who! (1954)

lemme outta this thing! said...

100 !!!

Rich said...

Whenever I feel anger for more than a few moments, I know I'm heading into the dream which contains everthing except Reality. I say to myself 'feel the anger, let it go' or some such self talk and then back to the present of don't know.

This blog is a place where people feel safe expressing their ideas, feelings and emotions. People who have personally identified themselves should not be threatened. The anonymice can threaten each other if they choose.

Thing 1 said...

Mysterion said

"I put up a blog for people who want their heads ripped off."

Another pun ruined by a typo....physician heal thy blog "Keep *of* the Gratis" indeed!

granny said...

the people who have personally identified themselves here are few indeed. Brad and Bardan come to mind. Most everyone else is anonymous with a nick.

Anonymous said...

What happened here? Can't we discuss the post and how we do these things in our own lives?

If you resort to name calling on a blog - what is the meaning of your life? Attachment to your perceptions and ideas? Hold on to them as long as you can! Identify with them to the end! Then where do they go?

Do you feel pride when you swear or write mean stuff on the internet? We all need something to make us feel better about ourselves.

My experience is years of zazen and I don't need something like being rude on a blog comments section to make me feel better.

Anonymous said...

'Do you feel pride when you swear or write mean stuff on the internet? We all need something to make us feel better about ourselves.

you do realize you are reading Brad warner's blog don't you?

michael bardan said...

i am everything except reality, who are you then is the question?

whenever i feel anger, i just sit there looking at it, knowing it too is Reality.

rich, back on the zafi, bro.

michael bardan said...

listen to the arrogance of that anonymous fuck:

!!!! EVERYTHING will be sorted out by HR & an audit !!!!

it is vileness like this that needs to be BANISHED from education.

ALTOGETHER

richard feynman said...

what do you care what other people think?

interpretation of epilogue:

kindergarten teachers need to make MORE MONEY, than elementary school, then on and on, and COLLEGE PROFESSORS NEED TO MAKE THE LEAST.

and why?

because we need physicists with HEART FOR KIDS to explain how we arrogantly think it all works to minds not yet brainwashed by our antiquated education systems, if we're to be saved from the tyranny of medical science that is turning our young into zombies, literally.

just because you can't keep up with your kids or you think they have a foul vocabulary, doesn't mean you can medicate them into silence.

for as long as this country still has a 1st amendment, FUCK YOU YOU COCKSUCKING SPINELESS SLIMEBALL OF A WHISTLEBLOWER.

YOU WHISTLEBLOW ON ME YOU CUNT?

WHISTLEBLOW ON THOSE WHO WASTE YOUR GOVERNMENT TAX DOLLARS BECAUSE I AM HERE TO MAKE SURE YOUR KIDS REGISTER IN TIME FOR THE FALL AND WITH THE LEAST AMOUNT OF WASTED DOLLARS INVESTED IN SOFTWARE PURCHASED TO STRIKE THE EGO OF IT MANAGER:Z!

318 YOU BITCH? 911 IS WHAT YOU NEED TO CALL IF YOU WANT TO REPORT ME.

salary ranges said...

when i say college profs need to make the least, i say the least a college professor makes should be DOUBLE that which a FUCKING DOCTOR YOUR COCKSUCKING WHITE COATS AND HYPOCRITICAL BASTARDS WITH GOD COMPLEXES UP YOUR MERCEDESES AND LAMBORGHINIS.

go to fucking r0mania bitch where a top notch heart surgeon makes less than $500 a month.

and here, some WHITE COATS WITH DICKS THE SIZE OF EMPIRE STATE are toating their DSM V at me?

BRING IT ON BITCH BRING IT ON YOU TOOK IT ALL AWAY FROM ME ONCE, WHAT'S ONCE MORE OR TWICE?

I HAVE ETERNITY TO PICK YOU ALL ONE BY ONE.

Mysterion said...

wait just a gosh-darned minute...

I taught classes in college and I didn't have an M.D., D.M.D., D.V.M., or J.D.

Yet my doctor, dentist, vet, and family attorney clearly were earning their salary (all self-employed, by the way) caring for me, the wife, the pets and the community. I am not saying that we, who bellied up to the academic feeding trough, were not earning our salary, it is just that we got health benefits, retirement benefits, and summers off - while the M.D., D.M.D., D.V.M., and J.D. did not.

Being in a union and receiving full benefits from the state takes a BIG edge off the anxiety factor.

Ga-sho-nuff
O-Cha-Ryu
A.A., A.B., M.S., Ph.D. and RU2?

Anonymous said...

I HAVE ETERNITY TO PICK YOU ALL ONE BY ONE.

How's that working out for you?

Anonymous said...

i'm ballin' as a gee and you?

Anonymous said...

and what i'm saying is that losers go into education because it pays too little.

i'm not really advocating for lowering doctor's salaries, i'm advocating for shooting the big pharma recurring revenue business model.

when they view you as a lifetime CONSUMER of a perishable DRUG, i mean it's clearly said in PLAIN LANGUAGE.

it means you're a DRUG ADDICT for LIFE, once you enter the healing system.

heal my ass, i am now officially a christian scientist and i'm walking my ass into an l.ron hubbard space ship tomorrow.

at least maybe john travolta can protect me from these slimeball:z!

anyway, i don't even know why i bother, i don't really give a shit, one way or another, lost in thought and lost in time like floyd or eternally lost in emptiness (which is same as lost in time, because form is space, neh?-)

so, really, bow down mofo, here on this earth the battle has been won.

EINSTEIN = GOD

as for me, i'm like ozzy osbourne, i'm just happy to be anywhere, including death row if you please.

aren't we all on death row here, btw, whether we see that or not?

L'Austin Myspace said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dan said...

"The mind comparing zen to sport (or anything)...

the 'mind comparing' is also located in front of the eyeballs...

yes, I can see why it is interesting to make that comparison and if that mental activity motivates you to sit more and investigate your moment to moment experience, great!

not_mb"

I think we mean different things. i'm just talking about the literal activity zazen and the 'rules' by which you engage with that activity, being similar to a sport.

When you say 'comparing zen to sport' you don't mean zazen do you? you mean something else right?

Sonny said...

"What I want to know is when we're going to have the Choprah Venom Collection Institute with support from Stephen Irwin Foundation for Wild Sting Ray:Z!

Yet another fucking PCOM graduate who should just fucking go back to Bangalore and help the Indian Tech Support Industry provide better care for Dell.

Michael Bardan said "Either that or just GO FUCK YOURSELF AND THE ELEPHANT YOU RODE ON INTO THIS COUNTRY and after that GO HELP THAT FUCKER shaymalanicalistical he ain't done a good movie since fucking I SEE DEAD PEOPLE and the goddam venus plant should eat his ass for the way he mangled THE HAPPENING.

It's called a ONE SHOT wonder, may you remain in your VILLAGE for the remaining of this Milennium."

Buddha sees buddha. Pig sees pig.

Anonymous said...

dan,
Yes

Rich said...

Mike B said:
"i am everything except reality, who are you then is the question?

whenever i feel anger, i just sit there looking at it, knowing it too is Reality.

rich, back on the zafi, bro."

more zafu
everything just enough for everyone
life and death not a thought
doing helping everyone
birds sing, flowers bloom.

Jinzang said...

Michael certainly takes the prize as unhinged yogi ululating to the sky.

Anonymous said...

Impeach.

w said...

jinz - mikey might ululate.. but he could be a great teacher if he gets his shit together. i only give him a 20% chance of not flaming out. if you want to place a bet, call my guy at (202) 456-1111

jundo said...

Not a bad post from Jundo Sensei this time

As to Ven. Brad Warner, mentioned here several times (and I have received a couple of PM over the last couple of days about him), well, I am just going to reprint here some parts of something I wrote awhile back. I don't try to hide this. ... I hope he and I can disagree while maintaining kindness and "Right Speech" about some criticisms I have of his way of doing things, namely, his interpretation of "Right Speech" ... :wink:

I would like to say that I have long been one of Brad's strongest defenders, and I still am. I know that may sound strange, but it is true. (Brad also, I am sure, would not care or want anyone to defend him ... but I get asked about Brad so often that I defend him, plus I truly mean what I say in his defense). In fact, I wrote the following just the other day to some other Buddhist clergy who are very critical of Brad. It also hints at why I feel I must criticize him so strongly about some things.

Over the last few years, I have grown more and more critical within the Sangha of some of his activities. In fact, I even went so far as to ask my teacher to declare my own Treeleaf Sangha as independent, because I was not happy with the situation (Nishijima Roshi granted me that last year). Brad and I have butted horns a few times. But, in order to explain that, I would actually like to defend him here a bit ...

-- Brad was always first and foremost, I think, in the mold of those fiery, wrathful Tibetan Dieties who turned their power against ignorance. He is as serious a Zazen teacher as you will encounter, and rarely if ever has turned his words or actions against people (he has been a critic of some other Buddhist teachers, and in the strongest terms ... but almost always for doctrinal reasons.). If you look closely at his fire, it is almost always directed at what he considers to be the fake, hypocritical, deceiving or harmful in the Buddhist world or in society, and his wrath is emitted in the cause of hard Zen practice. If you ever met him, he is gentle, soft spoken and kind ... very unlike his written persona. If you look at his writings very closely, he is using vitriol and ugly language against falsity and ignorance, not against people. (His most recent article was in no way in support of the lifestyle he described, if you read it closely).

-- As was noted by someone (I cannot find the quote right now), he speaks to a generation that is completely different from the generation of 'old codgers' and ex-hippies that are most current Zen teachers. I can see in my own Sangha that I have trouble relating to many folks in their 20's (and younger) or early 30's, and Brad succeeds. His first book attracted hundreds and hundreds of people to Soto practice who never would have started and so many of those folks have stuck with it and gone deeper (I have a bunch in my Sangha, and others probably do too). One of his recent projects has been to write for an online magazine aimed at the folks with the body piercings and tattoos ... Brad makes a darn good argument that folks like that need to hear about Buddhism, that Brad is one of the few teachers equipped to talk to people like that, that in order to do so he needs to speak their language. If you look closely at his writings, he is not approving the lifestyle (certainly, he is 100% anti drink and drugs), and is preaching Buddhism to folks it is hard to preach to. If you want to talk to folks, you have to go where they hang out.

That being said, I have been a strong critic of Brad very often. I think he sometimes forgets his real intent and falls into shock for shock's sake. I thinks he often overdoes it and comes across as petty and mean. In fact, this week, I publicly let loose on him with both barrels ... certainly I myself forgot "Right Speech" in the process, something I regret. I described the way he runs his website as resembling the "Jerry Springer" TV show or a circus... shock shock shock and dirty words wrapped in a fishwrap pseudo moral talk (at least, it comes across that way even if he is sincere). I am disgusted because I feel he has overstepped a line several times in recent years. The teaching has sometimes become secondary to his need to get the "F-word" in somewhere in his essays. Whatever his intent, it does not come across well.

Even if not one's real intent, it is just not proper to be spreading a message that it is okay to be a cursing and insulting, angry against people (even if he just comes across that way and is not like that inside) Buddhist. You cannot be an "insulting and angry against people Buddhist." Sorry. It is like being a doctor who advocates cigarette smoking, a peace activist who shoots anyone who disagrees with him. It does not compute.

On the Precepts, I agree with Rev. Nonin. and Anders. I could not have said it any other way myself. I do not manage my own Sangha in any other way, and we treat each other with kindness and dignity. The Buddhist concept of right speech is not just an "old tradition", but a darn good teaching. We take the Precepts as being at the heart of our Practice, hand in hand with Zazen.

Right speech is the first principle of ethical conduct in the eightfold path. Ethical conduct is viewed as a guideline ... which supports the other principles of the path. This aspect is not self-sufficient, however essential, because mental purification can only be achieved through the cultivation of ethical conduct. The importance of speech in the context of Buddhist ethics is obvious: words can break or save lives, make enemies or friends, start war or create peace. Buddha explained right speech as follows: ... not to use words maliciously against others,. to abstain from harsh words that offend or hurt others. ... , Positively phrased, this means to tell the truth, to speak friendly, warm, and gently and to talk only when necessary.


Fortunately, with me and Brad ... it is quite unlikely that we will mount armies against each other. :|


http://www.treeleaf.org/forum/viewtopic.php?p=13580#p13580

Anonymous said...

jundo, that is only because you don't have an army.

Anonymous said...

in case we forget, jundo also wrote this to Brad..

"I am going to go public, with every resource I have privately and on the internet to make you a laughingstock, to tell folks what I think of you, to embarrass you. I will speak out (you can fool others but you can't fool me ... you embarrassment to yourself, our teacher, all of us associated with this). It's not "edgeplay, man ... it's a 12 year old who giggles at the graffiti he drew on a bathroom wall. I will do what I can upon my return to Japan next month to stop the September Retreat at Tokei-in.

You are free to to turn your hanging out in nudie bars, getting "lap dance" from strippers into a profound "teaching" (there are fools born every minute who will buy it too. I think you are just a clown). But you are free to do it, and I am free to take the action I think is right.

You are a joke, and it is not a dirty one.

Gassho, Jundo"

Gassho indeed..

michael bardan said...

i have nuttin to teach except that for as long as you keep measuring your zendicks, you'll be more lost than even i am.

also, sitting won't get you anywhere. i was done with giving up the seeking before i started sitting and i now sit in order to keep my vehicle grounded.

at least braddy-chan is getting lap dances, what do you guys do in your shaved caves, eh, develop your riding soopapawar:z?

the rest of you, what are you even talking about man?

ALL MY COMMENTS ARE TO BRAD WARNER

the rest of you are text.

btw, LEGALLY SPEAKING, a comment section is responses to whoever writes the blog, so again, FUCK OFF, brad.

translation said...

"i have nuttin to teach except that for as long as you keep measuring your zendicks, you'll be more lost than even i am."

translation: Those things which originate in the mind of affirmation and negation are a place of illusion.

AnonAndOnAnd... said...

The Jundo post is another valid repost but it was not put here by Jundo.

Using an alternate Jundo account is a little trollish.

Jundo and Brad disagree. That's no big.

You get any two teachers together and they disagree.

I've had disagreements with both of them in both directions. Eventually the truth shows through.

It doesn't matter who is right or wrong. It matters that we all learn from each other.

Travellers on a common path.

michael bardan said...

where teh fuck have i evah disagreed with braddy=chan, dope?

in my very youth, b4 getting to hakuin by identification of wow slap my forehead this dude went crazy just like i did and so ce n'est pas true i have a shrinking brain, instead they shrink it for me in order to not finish what has begun in me... bah, i bore you, who cares, man?

not i.

i only say braddy-chan proceeds to throw stones in a glass house and so poor him looks ridiculously stupid. he's right in what he says, but he doesn't practice what he says, because he doesn't yet understand what he says.

anyway, i give a shit what you pinheads think of my views on life, the universe, and everything, which incidentally aren't 42, rather 58 (for now).

let's roll it bastardino:z!

/zazen clappers 0n

BANG,
BANGG,
BANGGG,
BANGGGG!

Anonymous said...

boooorrriiinnnggggggggggg

Rich said...

I and My is already a mistake.

Dan said...

"I and My is already a mistake."

I thought it was supposed to be a "useful fiction"?

jim haisin said...

Hi rich and dan.. I and my are not mistakes.
They are words that signify ideas. The idea of I or my are not mistakes either. When you believe that words are the ideas and visa-versa, (like when Rich said, 'I and my are mistakes') he was confusing his words with his ideas.

You have to become accustomed to z0tl-speak to make any sense out of him. Text messages are different than spoken messages. more and less room for misunderstanding.

michael bardan said...

the superfood that allows you to drop the starbux addicktion is:

green machine by nekkid juice.

it costs the same too, thus it won't help you drop your need to make money.

Anonymous said...

jundo, fuck 0ff, if you believe right speech = not using cuss w0rd:z, you wasted fingers even when you put bold around your retarded idiocies.

yapanese loser said...

you know how you guys talk, like when the japanese mafia went underground and tried that gaseous attack, they killed all of 13 people or so with it.

!!!! I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR ISLANDS !!!!

there's as much zen in hok'kaido as there is in my jacuzzi bubble jet.

you fucking moron:z!

Anonymous said...

dandelion & burdock root tea to flush out the sugar & caffeine hangover from your kidneys

Anonymous said...

don't disrespect jundo.. ignore him if you want but he don't deserve that shit.

lee iamacocka not a sukha said...

go buy a chrysler, you fuck, they give $2.99 gas guaranteed until the gas will be lower than that.

& how many more times must i say it's a mercedes under the hood?

Anonymous said...

are you little fuck trying to speak for jundo?

the day my game is disrespected when i look in someone's eye:z i will be cut by manjushri's sw0rd in pieces and someone will sip my brains through my eye sockets with a straw.

you presumptous fuck to imagine you can actually speak for jundo.

Rich said...

Jim said:
"Hi rich and dan.. I and my are not mistakes.
They are words that signify ideas. The idea of I or my are not mistakes either. When you believe that words are the ideas and visa-versa, (like when Rich said, 'I and my are mistakes') he was confusing his words with his ideas. "

If you are completely free of attachment to your conceptual thinking, then your words and thinking are wonderful. In any case don't get rid of words and thinking, you need them in your everyday life.

If you are thinking 'I understand this or that', I want this or that' you are already lost, have made a big mistake and need to get back to your practice.

Mysterion said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
点 said...

mysterionの老女はあなたの石の下で、這う

Mysterion said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mysterion said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dan said...

何を意味するか。

Jordan said...

このブログはいつになる"楽しい日本語のですか? "

こブいになる"し日すか said...

ロ楽グのい本のつはで語 !!!

Translate said...

What does this mean?

When this blog, "the Japanese fun?

"I saw Vu," the review said ... beth bynnag

Russia's leading music and the gaily NOTSU word!

Babelfish says:
What is meant?
As for this [burogu] " which becomes sometime; It is Japanese to be pleasant?
" It is dense, " which [bu] is and becomes; It does and day does or said…
[ro] easy [gu] it is, the book as for with language!!!

Was hoping for some gossip or something else nasty or something.
Shall we try Dutch:
Meer onzin
or back to the original
より多くのナンセンス

Anonymous said...

you know, we're all making history here. One day Brad will be associated with the chaos in the comments section of his blog. Pretty exciting stuff, huh?

Jinzang said...

you know, we're all making history here

Yeah, I'm looking forward to the varorium edition of my comments on this blog.

Jinzang said...

jinz - mikey might ululate.. but he could be a great teacher if he gets his shit together.

A great writer, maybe. But teacher, no. A great teacher is not moved by the eight worldly winds.

Jinzang said...

Now that I've trashed the precept on right speech (sorry, Jundo!) let me atone by posting something more positive. If you're looking for a good book to read, I recommend Instant Zen. Some of those Chinese monks were pretty sharp guys. And on the whole, I find the Chinese masters easier to understand than the Japanese. There's a lot of good stuff here and I've turned to it often for inspiration.

Mtroll said...

"I recommend Instant Zen. Some of those Chinese monks were pretty sharp guys. And on the whole, I find the Chinese masters easier to understand than the Japanese. There's a lot of good stuff here and I've turned to it often for inspiration."

Great book. I've read and reread it for years. I agree about the chinese masters. I'd also recommend Master Yunmen by Urs App and Swampland Flowers by Ta Hui. Master Dogen really disliked Ta Hui but I've found him to be especially insightful.

michael bardan said...

what i am "moved" by is mysterion's efforts to keep me out of ignorance.

*yaza*

(the bell and i are both in your head:z)

it is incredibly funny when imbeciles sitted on a cushion tell you that you're being moved and all in your head, even funnier when they can tell you how hysterical you are by 1 of the 8071823408761 winds to the power of THEIR ignorance, projected on a lower form.

dear "history makers" we here are sadly stuck on teisho point #2:

STOP VALIDATING AGAINST LOWER AND HIGHER FORM:Z!

PLEASE, I BEG YOU, so we can move to #1 and #3 finally.

anyone care to fish jod (tim) da'ath history making teisho and give history teisho on it?

i thought so...

yahoo said...

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SPACE.com
Solar Eclipse Friday to Fascinate Millions

Robert Roy Britt
Senior Science Writer
SPACE.com Thu Jul 31, 10:32 AM ET

A total eclipse of the sun Friday should fascinate millions of lucky skywatchers in Greenland, Siberia, Mongolia and China.
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If the weather cooperates, people along a narrow path who venture out and look up will see stars during the day as the sun is gradually devoured and ultimately blotted out by the moon.

Unlike ancient times, when eclipses were viewed as bad omens in many cultures, fewer people should be expecting doom this time around. Still, myths persist, especially in remote regions, so it's likely there will be some banging on pots and other creative tactics employed to drive the "evil spirits" away.

Billions of people along the path, including most of Europe and Asia, have a chance to see an interesting but much less foreboding partial eclipse. The northern half of Maine and the Canadian Maritime Provinces will be graced with a partial eclipse at sunrise.

Myth and mystery

Solar eclipses occur when the moon moves in front of the sun. This can happen only at the time of a new moon, when the moon is between Earth and the sun. When the three objects align perfectly an eclipse occurs.

Before there was a scientific explanation for eclipses, myth and mystery was pervasive.

Many cultures thought a demon or dragon was devouring the sun.

In ancient China, "any unusual phenomenon involving celestial bodies was noted for potential omens, either good or bad, that might befall the current Emperor," according to Sten Odenwald of the department of physics at Catholic University. An eclipse occurred in 2134 B.C., but was not predicted by Hsi and Ho, who were believed to have been two astrologers who served the Emperor Chung K'ang.

"By some accounts, the two astrologers were negligent in their duties and did not foretell the event for the Emperor," Odenwald writes in a historical article published by NASA. "They were summarily beheaded for their negligence of duty."

The ancient Chinese banged pots and drums to shoo the frightful sun-eating character away, according to the Exploratorium Science Center in San Francisco. In India, people would immerse themselves in water to help the sun fight the dragon.

Even nowadays many myths persist. In Egypt, as one example, children are often kept indoors with windows covered or shades drawn during an eclipse.

Prior to a total solar eclipse in 2006, one Indian paper advised pregnant women not to go outside during the eclipse to avoid having a blind baby or one with a cleft lip. Food cooked before the eclipse was to be thrown out afterward because it would be impure and those who are holding a knife or ax during the eclipse would cut themselves, the Hindustan Times added.

In Togo, authorities prior to the 2006 solar eclipse called on villagers to stay home. "Please, do not go out and keep your children indoors on solar eclipse day,'' Togo's minister for health said in a message broadcast on state television.

Risk of eye injury

Eclipses can indeed be dangerous.

Despite myths and rumors, a total solar eclipse is safe to watch during the darkness of totality, when no rays of the sun are passing to your eyes. The corona, or atmosphere of the sun, is often partly visible when the moon blocks out the main disk of the sun. Viewing the corona during totality also is safe.

However, looking directly at the sun, even during a partial eclipse, will damage your eyes unless you wear proper eye protection. It is extremely dangerous to eyesight to look directly at an eclipse at any stage expect during totality.

Glasses designed specifically for eclipse viewing are recommended, or a handful of indirect viewing methods can be used:

With masking tape, cover all but a 1/2-inch square of a small mirror. Project the sun onto a shaded wall. Or with a pencil, poke a small hole in a piece of paper. Let sunlight fall trough the hole onto a second sheet of white paper about a foot below.

Webcast planned

For those not fortunate enough to be in the eclipse's narrow path, a live webcast is planned.

NASA, in partnership with the Exploratorium and the University of California, Berkeley, will transmit live images on NASA TV. The coverage, originating in China and reliant on good weather, runs from 6 a.m. to 8:15 a.m. ET.

The period of total eclipse, or totality, will occur from 7:08 a.m. to 7:10 a.m. ET.

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mysterion said...

Webcast planned

For those not fortunate enough to be in the eclipse's narrow path, a live webcast is planned.

NASA, in partnership with the Exploratorium and the University of California, Berkeley, will transmit live images on NASA TV. The coverage, originating in China and reliant on good weather, runs from 6 a.m. to 8:15 a.m. ET.

The period of total eclipse, or totality, will occur from 7:08 a.m. to 7:10 a.m. ET.

nasa.tv said...

we're broadcasting it "live."

where?

here on exrth.

what time?

4:08AM PST

during /chanting period 0n

michael bardan said...

enough yaza for 1 day, fuckers, it is okay to not be moved by the 8 wind:z as long as you let mysterion move you.

*j0ker*

michael bardan said...

PAST IS ABSOLUTELY NO INDICATION OF FUTURE

YOU IGNORANT, IGNORANT, IGNORANT FUCK

nor does present exist (as you think it does) other than a concept (memory-habit) designed in order to hold those other concepts: past & future.

FUCK YOU AND YOUR EIGHT WINDS

you understand nothing.

qbitty said...

lissn up doggy dog, they're making history here.

baaaaaahahahahaaaaahahhaaahaha, talk about getting over your sorry selve:z!

not in this iteration, bro, not in this iteration.

hopelessly lost in their vanity, continuously projecting and seeking validation in lower and higher form:z!

it's hopeless here, that is how you know it's hell, yet they are continuously convincing themselves they are in some kind of antechamber of heaven.

golly me.

www.nasa.com said...

the webcast isn't here.

so is michael bardan and qbitty.

not sure about z0tl.

dr. evyl said...

i'm kidnapping this girl and asking for 1oo,ooo,ooo,ooo billion.

barona casino said...

we are now taking bets for 58% that 202 bookie is wrong at 20%. more like fi'ty-fitty.

qbitty said...

/free style z@z3n

/jikijitsu - the ecliptical sun

at 4:o8AM then, don't catch me without endarkening your acretion in humble prostrations towards the source of our earthly game:z being.

Ra-Ra, methinks I need a bigger box for youse Chu-Hua-Hua-Z!

Anonymous said...

jinz - mikey might ululate.. but he could be a great teacher if he gets his shit together.

'A great writer, maybe. But teacher, no. A great teacher is not moved by the eight worldly winds.'

shit do change. just no sign of him changing any habits yet. 'beyond becoming he has gone..' this implies change. be optimistic.

Anonymous said...

"And how is right view the forerunner? One discerns wrong speech as wrong speech, and right speech as right speech. And what is wrong speech? Lying, divisive tale-bearing, abusive speech, & idle chatter. This is wrong speech...

"One tries to abandon wrong speech & to enter into right speech: This is one's right effort. One is mindful to abandon wrong speech & to enter & remain in right speech: This is one's right mindfulness. Thus these three qualities — right view, right effort, & right mindfulness — run & circle around right speech."

Mysterion said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mysterion said...

Thing 1 said...

It (of = off) is fixed. The cat sings like a canary.

Thanks

O-cha-ryu

michael bardan said...

1 thing i can't comprehend is how on exrth you think someone of the new nexus 1st shooter adhd generation can possibly learn a thing from you?

Anonymous said...

personally, if i had to pick, i'd pick shitty teacher over grand writer.

because grand writing historically has been used to justify grand murder:z!

qbitty said...

even after they took out my ball:z i had more common sense than this bunch of stones held in the palm of a porno philosopher.

Anonymous said...

"1 thing i can't comprehend is how on exrth you think someone of the new nexus 1st shooter adhd generation can possibly learn a thing from you?"

this is so great michael.. you hit the hammer right on the head with the nail. you are just the opposite side of the same coin as mysterion. different generations and economic classes mixed in with ethnic sub-groups and white-boy wannabes, no one understanding what the other person is talking about. mysterion is vague and vaporous for a reason. he doesn't want to say the wrong thing. you on the other hand, seem like you don't really care about saying something inaccurate but do want to be understood. problem is you talk in a regional dialect that makes communication outside of your own group nearly impossible. how can anyone younger or older than you understand what you are working so hard on trying to say? the new nexus 1st shooter adhd generation? those guys are awesome but make up about .0034% of the world..

michael bardan said...

my anony friend?

who reads brad's blog, you foo?

the suicide girls.

show me 1 suicide girl who can't understand 1st shooter game:z and the adhd moniker and i will show you 8901723407 moronic sensei blowjobs who sit on cushions masturbating their egos into oblivion.

i pee on your zafu and i give a shit about your mala bead:z!

!!!! YOU AND YOUR FUCKING DHARMA ARE OBSOLETE !!!!

when i say that, i refer to the zen market niche that this blog caters to, you fucking retarded Saint!

Anonymous said...

michael, Ha! don't collect so many assumptions dickhead and you won't come off as such a know nothing. You spend a lot of time here pushing your ideas. if you are writing for yourself don't click that 'publish comment button'. But you do because I think you love us and just want to help us. how gay is that?

Anonymous said...

I sometimes really hate the old wacked out Zen master of the "classic" scriptures for that they became role models for psychotic immature internet nerds who rather riddle around with their bland random associations and assume that it would be some Zen teaching.

Hilarious.

Anonymous said...

i fully concur, thus you will never see me posting here again.

let's see if i can hold tight to that attachment to non-attachment delusion that's on the same plane with lemme show you how big my dick is.

it is exactly this big:

5.8"

did anyone see the eclipse?

Anonymous said...

yes, my dick caused it.

babbles said...

CNN is going to do a study on Buddhism; or rather it appears to specifically be Tibetan Buddhism. I doubt it will be necessarily educational, but it could be interesting.

Buddha's Warriors

Jinzang said...

shit do change ... be optimistic.

Sure, as long as he keeps practicing and listening to his teacher, there's every hope. But I bet he's a real terror in sanzen.

Anonymous said...

"I sometimes really hate the old wacked out Zen master of the "classic" scriptures for that they became role models for psychotic immature internet nerds who rather riddle around with their bland random associations and assume that it would be some Zen teaching"

I hate that old whacked out gotama dude cause he became a role model for people that try to follow all his silly teachings about 8 folded paths, precepts and philosophical sutra b.s. instead of just sitting, which is real buddhism.

mysteriondan said...

"i fully concur, thus you will never see me posting here again."

gosh.. Anonymous will never post here again. I will miss him/her.

qbitty said...

jinzang, you are a goddam foo & will remain 1 for as long as you've been.

lissn up, if you weren't a fruit fly, you'd KNOW i only descended upon this here sorry sangha when my teacher walked out of sanzen and had me baffled for like 5.8 second:z!

hey, when you're in sanzen with a tiger, you get the fuck out, that's all there is to do. unless you can do the dragon bit and/or shaolin praying mantis drill bit.

it is not my fault you mistake my confidence for arrogance.

it is not my fault you mistake my foul language for verbal abuse.

it is not my fault you are all little cowards invested with some kind of robe power, sitting high up a zafu, you fuck yourself [by the power invested in you] the same way the rest of us do, if not worse, because you teach others how to fuck themselves up professionally.

it is not my fault you ridicule me every day without seeing you ridicule yourself.

it is not my fault you suck your teacher's dick every day without seeing you fuck yourself.

my only fault [and weakness] is not turning my back on anyone, friend or foe.

michael bardan said...

lissn to the discriminative mind at w0rk, priding itself on wisdom:

just sitting is true buddhism.
just speaking is evil evil evil.

when tired, sleep, when thirsty, eat [or read, for that matter], when bored, sit.

y'all want to be infinite immortal outlaw:z but fuck me, the minute you need to do something that you aren't deluded you thought of doing, may i please watch colbert report, mommy, can you warm up the pf chang leftovers for me, i need to practice my pilate routine live here on oprah.

dear fucked up dividual, you are IN SUCH DEEP SHIT, you ain't seen nuttin yet until your life TRULY BECOMES A BREEZE, not a care in z-wxrld, everything flowing milk and honey and prozac and speed (aka wellbutrin) and maryjane laced with dmt for some truly "hardcore" trip:z!

buckle up, young bucks, the true ride is yet to come.

Anonymous said...

/free style z@z3n

the bell is in your head and i am hearing IT

cling,
clingg,
clinggg,
clingggg.

michael bardan said...

/clappers 0ff

let's do some hiking through some real w0od:z today, forget this computer jungle, when crazy, surf the net:z, when sane, trot the earth.

i'll be on stonewall peak at 4pm. if you meet me there, don't utter a w0rd about your fucking dharma, push me down the stair:z and laff when i get up at the bottom.

michael bardan said...

oh, sh!7, correction, i just realize it's saturday. perchance sunday, but make it earlier, like noon?

remembah, remembah,
teh 5th of novembah,
wanna make god laff,
go & plan ahead!

Thing 2 said...

Jordan Said...

このブログはいつになる"楽しい日本語のですか?

Kono buragu wa itsu ni naru [don't know that kanji-probably an adjective](shii) Nihongo no desu ka?

Something to the effect of, "When will this blog be (only?) in Japanese?"

Did I get it right?

Jordan said...

Thing 2,

That is an interesting translation.

You might be closer to what it is than my intent.

My Japanese is pretty bad.

My intent was to say "When did this blog become fun with Japanese [language]?"

Someone else said it better though, more nonsense.

I think Mr. Natural is pretty funny. And Brad's crack about the geekiness of the Zen community totally hit home with me. And admittedly I am certainly drawn to shiny things too. But I think the difference is that I feel the shiny things have their place in Buddhism.

I know that goes against the stream of common thought here, but for me if it had not been for the shiny things, I may have never been drawn to practice.

Take care,
Jordan

things you don't like said...

If it can include shiny things, can it also include dull and dirty, perhaps even irrelevant and offensive things?

Jordan said...

Things you don't like,
I think it will weather we accept it or not.

Take care,
Jordan

Anonymous said...

touché my friend!

as in music, so in life :-)

Thing 1 said...

Pearls are in oysters and rubies in mud. There is no shiny thing that was not pulled out except by people willing to slog the muck to find it (and recognizing its value in the context of the muck)

Even Buddha came (every Buddha comes) into this world covered in blood and mucus and departed a pile of rotting (or burning) flesh.

The shinny things are hidden in our own chaos of thought.

Sit. Stop stirring the pot. The mud will settle. Even an open latrine when calm, will reflect the moon.

[okay, some inconsistent metaphors and mixed tone, but what the heck.]

Thing 2 said...

What a wonderful aggregate you all are. You all must be here. There is no mistake, no wrong, no right. You all express the truth of the 10 directions.

It is indeed one bright pearl. From the shockers to the calmers. From the haters to the lovers. The middle of the road and the dazed and confused newbies.

All a voice in the chorus. Listen for the mysterious harmonies.

[and Sargent cynic says "kum by f-ing ya"....and all the children sing, "hey Bungalow Bill... fade out "]

thing3 said...

Sometimes I pile of shit is just a pile of shit with no pearl in it.

Harry said...

When all things are buddha-dharma then there is shit and there is pearls.

When the myriad things are without an abiding self then there is no shit and no pearls.

The buddha way is, basically, leaping clear of the many and the one; thus (in action) there are (effectively) shit and there are pearls.

And, as we all know, in attachment pearls get shitty, and in aversion shit happens.

(A possibly necessary misappropriation of Dogen Zenji's Genjo Koan by a internet faux Zen chancer).

Regards,

Harry.

Jinzang said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jinzang said...

don't utter a w0rd about your fucking dharma, push me down the stair:z and laff when i get up at the bottom.

And don't forget
when your elders forget
to say their prayers
take them by the legs
and throw them down the stairs
Siouxsie and the Banshees

Thing 3 said...

In a recent survey 100 piles of shit were examined. None contained rubies. One contained a small bird skeleton.

In a parallel survey 100 jewellry stores were examined. 98 of them contained rubies. None contained piles of shit. 6 contained ornmental Buddha statues.

michael bardan said...

yeah, thing 3, tell that about the shit pile to the fruit fly:z!

just in case you don't get it, even a sequoia learned to treat your pile of shit like it's pearl:z, even a fruit fly, unlike the chicken launching to get the lugie (booger pile) is smarter/wittier than you, wood pile!

stonewall@noon-ish, but meanwhile here's 1 ounce of *yaza* followed by more nappin' it large.

Anonymous said...

i'm losing the drift..

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