Tuesday, June 17, 2008

HELP

I am being held captive in a cell in San Quentin by my new boyfriend Bruno The Snake. I've managed to get access to one of the guard house computers through the exchange of certain "favors." Please, anyone, send help soon...**





** I'm kidding. OK? Please don't contact San Quentin on my behalf.

409 comments:

1 – 200 of 409   Newer›   Newest»
Roman G said...

Quick ! Someone send Brad a crate of Johnny Cash albums !

Anonymous said...

Did you meet Jarvis?

http://www.freejarvis.org/

Anonymous said...

Be careful Brad.. In his former life, Bruno was known as Anonymous Troll the Snake.

Morti said...

Sorry, i don't understand what you want to tell us with this post but nice to hear you have a boyfriend ;-)

leoboiko said...

what, brad likes boys?! omg I’m getting in the line, he’s so hot.

Jinzang said...

I wish people wouldn't joke about jail rape. It's a real problem, and until people stop laughing about it, it's never going to get taken seriously.

Mysterion said...

Brad is married to a dutiful obedient Japanese wife named Yuka. She must have the patience of Job, or the job of Patience.

and she doesn't buy into the HYPE

Blake said...

I'll send you a carton of smokes. They are like cash in prison.

Wait... is San Quentin smoke-free?

Vlad the Dragon said...

Is that post continuity I detect? Brad, you really are slipping... Truly...

< / sarcasm >

mysteriondan said...

jinzang, Your logic is impeccable. If we could only stop people from laughing at their problems, it would follow. They wouldn't have any problems..

Jinzang said...

I didn't say that the problem would end IF people stopped laughing about it. I said it won't end UNTIL people stop laughing about it. In other words, it's a necessary condition, but not a sufficient condition.

So where's the error in my logic?

Anonymous said...

what ends in samsara?

Anonymous said...

According to Human Rights Watch, at least 140,000 inmates are raped each year, and there is a significant variation in the rates of prison rape by race. Stop Prisoner Rape, Inc. statistics indicate that there are more men raped in U.S. prisons than non-incarcerated women similarly assaulted. They estimate that young men are five times more likely to be attacked; and that the prison rape victims are ten times more likely to contract a deadly disease.

http://www.spr.org/

Stop Prisoner Rape seeks to end sexual violence committed against men, women, and youth in all forms of detention.

"The horrors experienced by many young inmates, particularly those who are convicted of nonviolent offenses, border on the unimaginable. Prison rape not only threatens the lives of those who fall prey to their aggressors, but it is potentially devastating to the human spirit. Shame, depression, and a shattering loss of self-esteem accompany the perpetual terror the victim thereafter must endure."

U.S. Supreme Court Justice Harry A. Blackmun, Farmer v. Brennan

Why is Prison Rape seen a funny? What is funny about Rape, be it in or outside of Prison?

Brad, try and engage brain before typing this crap onto your blog.

Ian said...

Someone once said (I can never remember who the someone was, but it was an old Greek philosopher or something like that) that something isn't worth taking seriously if you can't also laugh at it.
To each their own though...

Brad said...

Who said Bruno The Snake raped me?

Mountaintop Rebel said...

Jinzang, I agree completely. I was going to type something like that myself. Rape isn't funny and the mainstream acceptance of "drop the soap" type humor is messed up beyond belief.

Brad, it's an implied thing, duh. C'mon, don't be disingenuous.

pete said...

try and make friends with he nearest morgan freeman look a like or if that fails bet bruno your safety you can eat fifty eggs

Anonymous said...

Looks like Brad's blogs alway end up in a hardcore gang bang that Brad gets most of the shaft. I think the problem is he drops the soap a lot. This blog is a lot like prison.

B.Rose said...

ha ha you're wickedly funny mr! Love your work! B xo

Anonymous said...

Other than Zen Temples worth seeing in the Bay Area:

1) Alameda (the old monk)
Buddhist Temple of Alameda
2325 Pacific Ave.
Alameda, CA 94501
Phone: (510) 522-5243
2) Fremont
3) my back yard...

Anonymous said...

This afternoon on the ride home a man jogging by jogged my memory bank of lovers. He reminded me so much of one....
and that got me to thinking of how imprisoned I felt...needing to make the great escape, from one love to another, hard fought freedom, expensive, buying this freedom over and over again, buying myself out of the slavery of relationships and how willingly and easily I would hand over all my hard won freedom for LOVE.
Of course, it wasn't them (well, maybe a smidge was them) it wasn't me either. Who the hell was that person on that long and bumpy ride?

Anonymous said...

This afternoon on the ride home a man jogging by jogged my memory bank of lovers. He reminded me so much of one....
and that got me to thinking of how imprisoned I felt...needing to make the great escape, from one love to another, hard fought freedom, expensive, buying this freedom over and over again, buying myself out of the slavery of relationships and how willingly and easily I would hand over all my hard won freedom for LOVE.
Of course, it wasn't them (well, maybe a smidge was them) it wasn't me either. Who the hell was that person on that long and bumpy ride?

Anonymous said...

I served time in prison decades ago. An acquaintance of mine was convicted and incarcerated the same day as I. Both of us were in for nonviolent drug offenses.

After a couple of months, one day my friend stayed inside from work detail because he wasn't feeling well. When the rest of us got back in I learned he'd been raped by a very large man who was serving life for murder.

Drugs saved my life or at least my virginity in prison. Luckily, I was stupid enough to continue to sell pot in jail. One of my best customers was a member of the Hell's angels motorcycle gang. Since I supplied him with pot he made sure this same rapist didn't get to me too. I was 17 and in adult prison. No, it's not funny and america's drug laws aren't funny either.

Anonymous said...

Don't drop the soap!!!!

Anonymous said...

There are angels....even in hell

Mysterion said...

@ 2:52 PM, Brad sed...
"Who said Bruno The Snake raped me?"

LOL - Perceptions...

"The habits of our senses have woven us into lies and deception of sensation..." source

The perception of music as a melody depends upon past, present, and future sounds. And yet true music is but one note - the ever present.

Perceptions fail us consistently.

Ga-Sho-Nuff Brad.
O-Cha-Ryu

Anonymous said...

Pile of shit has a thousand eyes!!!

mysteriondan said...

laughing about something does not change anything about a situation except the laughter, and as Brad has rightly pointed out, He blew Bruno because he wanted to not because he had to. This post was not about making fun of prison rape. It was about following your thinking down a rabbit hole. If anything was implied in the story, it was kidnapping, not rape. I guess Brad didn't admit to blowing Bruno either. I'm bad.

Steve said...

Wow. I'll bet Brad didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition...

I'd cue a Monty Python joke here, but I suppose that historical references to human rights abuses in the name of organized religion shouldn't be funny either.

Hayduke said...

What a bunch of retards.

Life goes on.

Anonymous said...

If I am ever sentenced to an American prison,
I will immediately commit suicide. But that's
just me -- no sense of humor when it comes to
bleeding from a ripped anus.

BTW, would Henry David Thoreau have
written "Civil Disobedience" if he
had been involuntarily fucked up the ass
during his stay in prison?

What about Martin Luther King?
Would he literally take it up
the butt for his principles?

Thanks to jinzang et al.
for saying what needed
to be said.

mysteriondan said...

Jinzang, Did someone say you made an error in your logic? I reviewed the log and couldn't find that. I just don't think laughter has anything to do with prison rape and for the record, I wish people could always be happy and live forever.

Anon, You might want to try something less extreme than suicide for dealing with a prison term. I wonder if all this prison rape talk is encouraged by our noble government? they wouldn't want to scare us, would they?

Anonymous said...

Brad's in San Quentin and I've got jury duty.
Synchronicity?

When we repeat our Bodhisattva Vows
and renew our Taking of the Precepts,
let us not forget...
The Four Boxes of Ordinary Citizenship:

1) the soap box

2) the ballot box

3) the jury box

4) the ammo box

anonymous said...
"No, it's not funny and america's drug laws aren't funny either."

Jury nullification is the nonviolent way of
telling oppressive government officials to
go fuck themselves.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of prisons, criminals, and justice,
these news tidbits might be of interest:

"The Prosecution of George W. Bush
for Murder"

by Vincent Bugliosi
(the attorney who prosecuted
Charles Manson).

Former Senator Mike Gravel
(of Pentagon Papers fame)
calls for Independent 9/11 Investigation
and Prosecution of President Bush
and Vice President Cheney.

Morti said...

This is the first time I wrote something in the comment section and followed the "discussion".
Now I can understand Brads problems with it.
There are really some people who always want to fight about !written! words. Three to five sentences in where they think they get the opinion and meaning of what the author wanted to tell and now can criticize from their point of view of absolute knowledge and without any humor or tolerance.
Believe me, I can tell you from my point of view of absolute knowledge that you are wrong. This is a way to make your life more complicate but not a way to make your life and the life of people you communicate with better.

Matt said...

Brad, you're officially a full-on meme of the pop lexicon: someone just dropped a goatse on your site.

wow. you really should be proud indeed.

in conclusion, this'll learn ya to make a joke eh?

getalife said...

Where is your problem, guys? Okay, some introduction for the comment newbies...


Brad's Brat Morale:

BAD

Alcohol
Meat
Other schools than his lineage
Dalai Llama

GOOD

Homophobia
Blog venting
Strip bars
One special kind of 80s Punk rock

Harry said...

Thanks guys for pointing out that Brad is a type of dangerous mental rapist. I never would have THOUGHT of that one.

Y'know, Mr. Director, there's a serious opening in the market for Brad voodoo dolls, and maybe Brad punch-bags. That way, for a small fee to defray 'administration costs', we could work out the ills of society through you more directly... or you could just SAVE US a lot of unnecessary time and effort and just hop up onto the cross there like a good chap.

Regards and unquestionable admiration,

Harry (Marketing dept.).

Anonymous said...

and Brad thought people avoided his zazen classes because they were boring.. never realizing it was rampant "Kempf's disease".

Anonymous said...

And Brad wonders why not many women are attracted to Zen! What kind of women want to spend their time with someone who expresses the mentality of a sniggering adolescent boy?

Mountaintop Rebel said...

Christ, it's pathetic the way some of you jerk offs just live to fellate Brad in the comments section. If he had joked about a woman getting raped, would it still be funny? No, of course not. And if another teacher had made a rape joke and Brad had called him on it, would you guys defend the other teacher? Yeah, I'm thinking no. Sorry, RAPE IS NOT FUCKING FUNNY and it's not just us being a bunch of humorless PC assholes, it's the fact that Brad said something shitty. I wasn't even going to make a big deal about it but then I saw you morons with your faux-zen logic about how you "just gotta laugh about it" or whatever. Hey, you're right, let's just make some racist jokes while we're at it, and some wife beating jokes, cos laughing at the victims of violence and cruelty is the lolzers.

I was saying last post that I was giving Brad props for working with prisoners, now I gotta wonder. By the way Brad, did you share your rapier wit with them? "Hey you guys get ass fucked when you're not sitting with me, isn't that hilarious?" Somehow I doubt it. And before anyone reflexively accuses me of trolling (since Troll=anyone who doesn't lavishly praise Odo-San), I've been pretty vocal on this issue for a while, as I've been involved in the prison reform movement for several years. I kinda thought, for a minute that maybe Brad was one of those people who saw prisoners as human beings. Silly me.

Hayduke said...

"I am being held captive in a cell in San Quentin by my new boyfriend Bruno The Snake. I've managed to get access to one of the guard house computers through the exchange of certain "favors." Please, anyone, send help soon..."


Just wanted to point out that Brad never said anything about being raped. :)

Mountaintop Rebel said...

Being held prisoner by my new boyfriend in San Q....Yeah, never mind, there's NO RAPE IMPLICIT in this joke. No sir.

Are you people retarded or just chronically intellectually dishonest?

Hayduke said...

Well- since I was a wee boy I've been aware of the idea that if you're bad then bad things will probably befall you. That and the fact that I possess some vague belief about karma or god or what comes around goes around has always kept me from doing the things that would land me in prison. What do you think people get sent to San Quentin for- cheating on their taxes? No- the place is full of murderers, rapists, and general shitheads who can't function anywhere close to within the confines of regular social norms. Do I wish them to be raped? No. I sympathize. Most criminals are what they are because of drug and alcohol problems, and I know quite a bit about that and would wish that trip through hell on no one.

Can I understand how most people immediately connect the image of prison with rape? Yeah- I can see that. Can I handle someone making an offhand joke about being raped in prison? Yep- pretty much.

You're just being a complete tool.

Mountaintop Rebel said...

A guy named after an anarchist advocate of civil disobediance and eco terrorism throwing me prison apologia. Yeah, you've got your head on straight.

Yeah, EVERYONE in SQ deserves to be there and deserves whatever happens to them while they're there. Karma means if your life sucks it's your fault, so starving kids in Laos need to just take the blame and shut up already, and the Chinese earthquake happened because China's government is mean to Tibet.

And if you think rape humor is funny, then sorry, I'm not the tool here. You're pathetic.

Hayduke said...

Was that the last word you had there? Curious. It must be hard living around you- never allowed to make an offhand joke without you demonstrating how far you've got that stick up your ass. Just because you have an opinion doesn't make it the right one.

Mountaintop Rebel said...

Yeah, you're right, there's nothing that's not potentially funny. All jokes are all cool all the time. I'm just uptight cos I can't appreciate a good rape joke

Hayduke said...

Wait- was that the last word you were having there?

Hayduke said...

He didn't make a rape joke, FYI. He said he had a boyfriend. Are boyfriend jokes verboten in the narrow little world you fantasize you have us all living in?

Anonymous said...

50 !!!

Jules said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mountaintop Rebel said...

Is anyone here actually trying to tell me that Brad's joke was not built pretty much entirely on the idea of men being sexually exploited in prison? Generally, if someone is being held prisoner by someone else who they have a sexual relationship with, it's rape. The joke is pretty obviously built on that assumption. Honestly, you all KNOW that too. Trying to claim it's innocent of implied rape humor is incredibly bizarre. I guess if you don't use the word rape, it's not about rape? Hmm. I guess if we tell racist jokes, as long as we don't say 'nigger' it ceases to be racist?

"Hey, I need to be rescued from my boyfriend who's keeping me prisoner. I managed to get the email out by sexually pleasuring a guard." That's essentially what Brad said. If it was altered slightly to be from the point of view of a woman in a trailer park (replace 'guard' with 'cop') we wouldn't even be having this discussion.

And Hayduke--oh man, trying to throw in a little jab to compare me to Nazis. Classy and classic. Yeah, I don't dig rape humor (implied or otherwise) which is really the defining characteristic of fascism.

Harry said...

We might just waste our lives away waiting for 'Real Zen' to come along, you know.

Regards,

Maux Faux.

Anonymous said...

HYSTERICAL from dictionary.com
1.of, pertaining to, or characterized by hysteria.
2.uncontrollably emotional.
3.irrational from fear, emotion, or an emotional shock.
4.causing hysteria.
5.suffering from or subject to hysteria.
6.causing unrestrained laughter; very funny: Oh, that joke is hysterical!

sammy said...

55!

mysteriondan said...

This is especially funny because Brad is going to come on all innocent and puzzled by the reaction he got to his joke even though he did have the prescience to warn us that he was only kidding and not to react stupidly.

pete said...

am I missing something
have lots of these people had their sense of humour surgically removed
I have no idea why Brad continues to blog to such a hostile bunch
isn't buddhism on some level about simplicity
it was a simple joke
simply laugh
or do something else
quite flaming the guy

pete said...

oh yeah and as a professional comedy writer
funniest things for material are death, religion and innuendo
the holy trinity of laughs
now if bruno had been a fundamentalist undertaker
even funnier
no offense intended to religious undertakers

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to point out that
prison rape is a form of torture
that is tolerated and regularly
joked about by Americans,
even though "cruel and unusual
punishment" (ie, torture) is
expressly forbidden by
the US Constitution.

Oh well, so much for
social contracts.

Anybody hear any good
Abu Ghraib jokes lately?

BTW, many prison rape victims
are nonviolent drug offenders.
Let your conscience be your guide.

siddy said...

60 !!!

PhilBob-SquareHead said...

To quote Larry the Cable Guy:

"Now that's just funny, I don't care who you are!"

EVERYTHING is fair game in comedy.

Comedy = tragedy + time

Morti said...

You are all idiots, including me.

Anonymous said...

So is Brad a comic or a Zen teacher? Or do we need to be mindful of the skillful means?

Anonymous said...

Why does Brad feel the need to talm about his work at SQ unless it is to stroke his own ego?

I'm not sure a person who cracks prison rape jokes is really the right person to be 'teaching' in a prison.

Anonymous said...

65!!!

Anonymous said...

Let other's karma get back to them from someone other than you - is one way to play it.

Deviak said...

Prison rape is appalling and so is joking about it, which is precisely what makes it so funny.
Humour that shouldn't be laughed at is humour that is suitable for "America's Funniest Home Videos" or "Family Circus".
The blog is called "Hardcore Zen", people. If you're that easily offended or prefer your religious pap to be G-rated, you've come to the wrong place

Harry said...

OK, Bozos.

Here's the facts: Last year over eighty people in the US were injured by falls due to stepping on bars of soap in communal showering areas.

I fully support those who rightly blast the making light of soap being dropped in such dangerous circumstances. Soap, and the insidious way it is used by soap-dropping criminals, is a great and ever-growing danger in our glorious Western Democracies.

Buddha says: "BE VIGILANT!"

Regards,

Harry.

Rich said...

"Of course, it wasn't them (well, maybe a smidge was them) it wasn't me either. Who the hell was that person on that long and bumpy ride?"

Right now, just do it.

"I served time in prison decades ago.........No, it's not funny and america's drug laws aren't funny either."

With experience there is no need for opinion. Thank you.

sevveny said...

70 !!!

Harry said...

I love you, Number Guy, or Gal.

H.

Mountaintop Rebel said...

Pete
Why couldn't Brad's slant-eyed wife come to the last SG party? I was beating and raping her! What, not funny?

Philbob
Oh wow, Larry the Cable Guy? Really?

deviak
Ohhh yep, you got me. Brad is just too hard core for me. Of all the middle aged yuppies in Santa Monica, he's one of the scariest. I'm sure that somehow his joke relates to his, um, not g-rated non-pap somehow. But yeah, there's no sacred cows with him (except Nishijima, of course) so he is just too much.

And basing humor in appalling circumstances only works when it recognizes appalling circumstances. Brad sounds like a typical frat boy "hey people get turned into sex slaves in jail lol". What, no Thai orphan jokes? It'd automatically be funny though. Of course, Brad and his other groupies already took pains to point out that he didn't make a rape joke, so you saying his rape joke is funny is a bit strange. Anything to defend the king, right?

I get the impression I'm talking to people who were lucky enough never to be on the receiving end of sexual assault, which is why they can be glib about it. I honestly hope you guys never find out how fucked up it is firsthand.

Harry said...

Yes, MT Rebel.

We (some of us) find it funny because it has never happened to us. If it had I'm sure we'd feel differently about it. But, it just hasn't happened to us. Maybe other bad, even terrible, things have happened to us which we don't laugh about. Its just the way these things go.

Regards,

Harry.

Anonymous said...

mtr - not me but my sister - truly sorry if you experienced that, really.

sevveny-faaa said...

75 !!!

Harry said...

That's a DAMN nice 75. Still luvvin' ya.

H.

Jinzang said...

There's an element of cruelty in a lot of humor: the pratfall or the pie in the face. When this humor is directed to the pompous or the powerful, I'll laugh along with you. But when it's directed at the powerless, that's another matter. And no group in America is more despised and powerless than prisoners. The kid arrested for selling pot who's cowering in the corner in the corner of a prison cell--if you can't feel compassion for him, who will you feel compassion for?

I think Brad's instincts are usually good and I give him credit for visiting San Quentin. But this society has a blind spot about prisoners and Brad got caught in it. It's okay to sometimes be wrong and the need to always be right is in many ways a worse sickness.

mysteriondan said...

Big of you to admit to being wrong in this case jinzang. Nothing is really funny after all. and if nothing is funny, everything is funny. So now Hitler becomes a staple of Jewish humour and blacks call each other nigger..

Anonymous said...

unsatisfying
always changing
not me

etty said...

80 !!!

can't count no hiyah :-(

Anonymous said...

Apparently, by Jinzang's photo identity, the adult obesity problem in America is funny.

Mnt. top rebel, you're really making me laugh now.

Anonymous said...

Da Punchline!

Mountaintop Rebel said...

Jinzang
Yes, pretty much agreed entirely. It's not even that Brad made the joke so much as the way he and the usual suspects will defend it with tortured logic no matter how messed up it is. Being wrong is one thing and we all do it; just being arbitrarily cruel, which is what I see here, is another matter. Shit, if Brad seemed capable of ever admitting he or Nishijima were ever wrong about anything ( I mean things now, not from 25 years ago) I'm sure 90% of my criticism would dry up. In this case, if he and his minions didn't seem intent on defending the stupid remark, I doubt I'd care.

I think it's cool Brad went to San Q; I think it's less cool that he seems to not have a very enlightened view of the people there (and before anyone starts with the 'no enlightenment' dogma, I'm using the word in the most mundane context possible). Laughing at something you yourself are a victim of is one thing, although most sexual assault victims (myself included) generally don't find it that funny, the same way there's a reason Chris Rock can say he hates niggers and loves black people and it means something quite a bit different than a white guy giving the same spiel.

I'm not going to get too far into my own experiences as a victim of sexual assult, since they're mainly irrelevant. My point isn't to play oppression Olympics, nor is it "I'm personally offended, therefore you should quit." The point is, in a society that trivializes and even celebrates rape, someone as smart as Brad should know better than to treat it like this, ESPECIALLY is he's going to work with these guys.

*Gets off soapbox, if only temporarily*

Anonymous said...

next topic!

Anonymous said...

it is so thoughtless of jinzang to use a picture of a vertically challenged person as his avatar. cruel in fact. his hypocrisy hurts me.

Anonymous said...

and mountaintop rebel, it is disgusting that you are making fun of our Appalachian brothers and sisters with that nickname. give that bigoted shit a rest.

Anonymous said...

honestly it's just not funny because it's an un-original concept. not to creative. but seriously for the angry people, maybe you should think of the perspective of the kind of people who say these things. some people use humor to hide fear. i've never been but the whole idea of going to prison is some scary shit. im sure if someone who made jokes about rape met someone who had it happen to them, they would really feel some compassion. talking loud doesn't automatically mean your a insensitive monster.

etty-et said...

88 !!!

can't hep'it :-P

etty-nahn said...

89 !!!

ninny said...

90 !!!

Anonymous said...

check out the PBF

Hayduke said...

It's mountaintop Rebel's ball and he's going home.

Look soon for Mountaintop rebel's "last word®" below this post. Unless he's too busy on many other internet venues attempting to "implement" his social mores on others (a societal act of rape if I ever experienced one!)

babbles said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
babbles said...

Wow. . . the silly over-reaction that has taken place is, well, quite silly.

It appears to be that Brad popped in on his own blog and dropped a quick quirky post which managed to turn into some sort of crazy irrelevant bitching and moaning.

It's interesting in that Brad never actually said he was being raped in prison, but rather he now has a boyfriend. In extrapolating that out people appear to assume that he is being pounded in the ass and/or is now a big supporter of prison rape. Apparently the lesson is don't you dare make any sort of veiled, or not so veiled, reference to a reasonably stated social joke - that shit will get your burned online.

To simplify: people need to pull the stick out of their ass and read the post for what it was, and nothing more.

Anonymous said...

who's bored? I am.

BORED

Anonymous said...

bbbbbbored

Anonymous said...

hayduke, how's your toilet survey coming along?

Hayduke said...

I gave it up. They kept cleaning them. What's the point, y'know?

Anonymous said...

I count on town halls and 5 star hotels for a good public crap myself.

Hayduke said...

Is the rude driver one still up? I can't recall. That shit takes time.

I'm more interested in deconstructing mountandrip rebel's post on another thread about his deep insight into what is and isn't punk. Too funny.

15 years ago? That would be around 1993? Too funny. Oh well- if you weren't there it's pretty much pointless to explain it.

Hayduke said...

Home Depot has some pretty user friendly shitters. Mornings are usually the best time. Lowes too. Big bathrooms in those joints.

Anonymous said...

Pointless fingers up the moon!

Hayduke said...

Hawaii has some real shit bathrooms.

Mountaintop Rebel said...

I definitively, for real, withdraw from Brad's blog. You won't be hearing from me here again. Promise this time. If anybody claiming to be me posts, it's bullshit. Best wishes all.

Hayduke said...

Internet goodbye posts are so cliched.

Anonymous said...

Not with a bang, but a whimper.

pete! said...

move on folks! nothing to see here but a bunch people with no sense of humour whipping a deceased equine quadraped
move on!

Anonymous said...

LMAO, gotta love the assertion that the use of a tasteless joke automatically means that Brad doesn't think prisoners are human. I'm sure every person who has made a racist joke was a card carrying member of the KKK.

immortalstrife said...

I'm sure every person who has made a racist joke was a card carrying member of the KKK.

Doesn't matter, same dumb people. Same people who don't understand.

I recall what Dave Chappelle didn't like about his show that the racists laughed about his "racist" jokes - even it was ridiculing racisms and anti-racism stereotypes.

BIG NEWS: What you do in public WILL be misunderstood. Avoid ambiguity.

Jinzang ridicules obese people, Brad ridicules transsexuals (yes, check the blog history, and it was someone he met PERSONALLY)... Almost as "funny" as the good ole caste system, you hardcore Buddhists.

The main visible difference in my personal life before and after Buddhist practice is:

Before -> I said bullshit and defended it.
Now -> I said bullshit and recognize that it is bullshit.

Buddhism is about being a better person, NOT being better than some other person.

Brad's lack of sense and low capability of anticipating people's reactions is quite obvious if you stay here for some months. Be gentle, he appears to be a cool guy anyway. Time to apologize and move on.

Anonymous said...

"Doesn't matter, same dumb people. Same people who don't understand."

No, actually, that's the point. It's NOT the same dumb people. It's NOT the same people who don't understand. This is not black and white, folks. Making a tasteless joke about rape doesn't make you some right wing nutjob that believes prisoners aren't human. That doesn't make the comment itself any more justified, but you can't automatically assume the person's intentions in saying what they did. Sometimes people are thoughtless and insensitive. We all make mistakes and have lapses in good judgment. But slipping up doesn't incriminate you as some horrible person. To reiterate, not everyone who makes a racist joke is a card carrying member of the KKK.

Alphonzen said...

Brad is very smart. He was able to prove what he has been saying for some time now. That, people are quick to jump to conclusions based on their ego based experiences without bothering with the truth.

There are several points to be made here;

1. People thought he was talking about prison rape. He was not.

2. People thought that he was an immature imbecile by writing it. Those people believe very strongly in their thoughts. Those people will never grasp zen.

Anonymous said...

Count yourselves lucky.

Anonymous said...

If any of you make a joke about rape
in my presence
I will do to you
EXACTLY what was done to me

the look on your face

now that will be funny

Anonymous said...

Peace of mind wished to anyone who reads this.

mountaintop rebel said...

"I definitively, for real, withdraw from Brad's blog. You won't be hearing from me here again. Promise this time. If anybody claiming to be me posts, it's bullshit. Best wishes all."

Bye Mountaintop rebel. I will really miss your comments here. You seemed to say a lot that was on my own mind. I'm surprised brad still allows dissenting comments here at all.

yudo said...

Sounds a bit like the argument of Umberto Eco's "The Name of the Rose", in which a blind monk murders all those who might reveal Aristotle's treatise on Comedy, because he believes that laughter is impious.

We tend to laugh at what we fear. Castration jokes are sure to make any male laugh, because the fear of castration is something very real. Making such a joke doesn't mean we DO encourage the castration of men, or does it?

Anonymous said...

mountaintop rebel - I want you to know that not everyone reading your posts wished you would be silent or go away. Some of us just don't prefer to add to the conversation. However, I am compelled to at least talk to you for a moment, even if I have to do it in a public forum.

While my reaction to Brad's "joke" was far different from yours (I thought it was funny, and the idea that he was talking about rape never entered my mind until it was suggested in the comments), your pain is evident and for that I would want to offer you comfort and understanding, not criticism and vitriol, no matter how clever the author of such disdainful attacks and easy dismissals.

Peace to you, mtr.

andronymous said...

virtually everything written by Brad will be misunderstood or objected to by somebody at some point.. As Brad pointed out in his "that's zentertainment" post,

"real communication is a very rare thing. Possibly one of the rarest things in this world. We talk and talk and talk at each other. We write mountains of words. it's so seldom anything really penetrates that when some random thing does get through it seems like a miracle."

staying balanced is getting along with a variety of people. being a little tolerant, not wanting your idea of perfect buddhism too much.

good luck out there in the real world MTR.

Rich said...

Let's applaud Mountaintop Rebel and hope he returns for an encore.

I liked the quote below. I think it's worth reading again.

"Before -> I said bullshit and defended it.
Now -> I said bullshit and recognize that it is bullshit.

Buddhism is about being a better person, NOT being better than some other person. "

Actions speak louder than words, so Brad's writing and this blog are a 1 or 2 on a Universal scale of 10. The off the chart reactions to it make me think about things in new ways so I guess that's why i keep reading it.

Anonymous said...

Forget implied jokes, what about those poor pigs ?

Anonymous said...

Oops, ahem, Pigs !

Anonymous said...

It's funny. I think Brad is in the 2nd day of a 5 day sit. Meanwhile, the comments swamp percolates and roils...

Anonymous said...

I had the same thought...he's in the middle of a multi-day sesshin...and the blog goes on

Moment by moment

All the hoop-la here...

I had to visit a father in prison once...it was a custody issue and he needed to be advised of a court date.
He was in what was called a 3 point hold or something like that--meaning that 3 of his 4 limbs needed to be anchored to something. I was just forty and had never been inside a jail or prison before. Every part of me wanted out of there.
It was like my body was a herd of wild horses all antsy and ready to bolt. I calmed myself down and kept up an appearance of things being 'normal.'
That my sitting here, in front of this shackled man was 'normal' and that my having all my things searched going in and out was 'normal.'
All I could do in this weird world was to be respectful of all of it: put papers needing his signature close to his untethered arm, because he could not reach with the restrained one, put my chair back neatly at the table.
To be outside with the wild air, the unbroken sun, was such a contrast.
A few years earlier I had worked with women in a half way house, coming out of prison. Most of them were working their first jobs--a lot of them hadn't even gone to school on a daily basis let alone show up at a workplace every day. I knew the newness of these 'freedoms' was chaffing and I knew they missed the confidence of a known (though hated) routine. It takes a while to develop a new one, to feel comfortable in a world with predictable events... The mind keeps wanting to count on things being a certain way. Whatever the circumstances which imprison us, real prisons or the 'of our own making' kind, mind is in the making. What to do? study the mind.
Zazen--'there are no words to praise it fully'
it is the simplest and most direct way, and there are no shortcuts--

And a few laughs, even at the crappy jokes is ok, too--even at the jokes that make you wince, even at the jokes that make you groan, even at the dud jokes tied forever to the weight of a bottomless blog

cowboy said...

If it looks like a duck and it walks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck, it JUST MIGHT BE a duck.

On the other ...

Anonymous said...

knock knock

"who's there?"

mr. owl

"mr. owl who?"

why are you speaking for mr. owl?

©2008

hayduked said...

I AM A MORON

Anonymous said...

Ah, love those homophobic prison bitch jokes.

Al Coleman said...

The fact that a 3 sentence post has drawn 128 replies is both impressive and pathetic. Brad is an excellent teacher and would be doing everyone a favor if he disabled the comments section.

Deviak said...

True, but the comments are even more entertaining than his posts

mountaintop rebel said...

"staying balanced is getting along with a variety of people. being a little tolerant, not wanting your idea of perfect buddhism too much."

Boy do I agree. You are directing this at everyone...including Brad, right? LOL!

Al,
Disable the comments section..hmmm. Why? So that no-one can disagree with the teacher's words of wisdom? Funny rule they have over on E-sangha. You can't criticize E-sangha. And you aren't allowed to disagree with the doctrine of literal rebirth. And you aren't allowed to promote certain banned sects they deem are not True Buddhism. When asked about this they'll reply that free-speech and notions of censorship have nothing to do with Buddhism. They're just modern western ideas.
It's Fair & Balanced...just like Fox News.

Rich said...

I appreciate Brad's little dharma intros but the comments make this blog worth reading. Sure, many of the comments are lame and stupid but it's worth the trip to read something that is a genuine expression of someone's true experience. I really like the comment from the attorney visiting his client in jail. If Brad wants to give this blog more direction he can butt in (ouch) whenever he chooses.

Al Coleman said...

The comments are not more entertaining than his post. I'm sticking up for Brad not because what I think he says is the be all end all, but because people get on here and say things that are purposefully cruel things about him. They can do so while being cowards and using anonymous names. If you don't like what he says don't read it(just like I could choose with regards to these worthless comments).

Blake said...

Is anyone working on Brad's website? If so, you need to set up a chat room. I think these types of discussions might be better in that format. It can easily be done with Java or mIRC. If you have any questions, let me know.

Anonymous said...

I definitively, for real, withdraw from Brad's blog. You won't be hearing from me here again. Promise this time. If anybody claiming to be me posts, it's bullshit. Best wishes all. - mountaintop rebel

LOL He stayed away almost six hours..

Avalokitesvara said...

Hi Everyone!

I came across Brad's HCZ book in the local public library, but have not read it yet. How are his books? Worth a read? Would anyone care to relate some of what they have found helpful?

Much Thanks
-A

manjusri said...

Dear Avalokitesvara,

you should know better about the Dharma, you don't need to be taught by punks.

Your ole chap,
Manjusri

Avvy said...

Oh Manny,

Of course you are right (you always are). But I really am curious to hear some reader reviews of HCZ before making the trek across town to grab a copy for myself. What do y'all say. Is it worth the walk?

Best
-A

ava said...

Anonymous Avalokitesvara said...
"Hi Everyone!"

Dear Avalokitesvara:

Not everyone is here. Only you are here, all alone. Just you, by yourself. The other postings are merely manifestations of Brahma.

Brad's books are manifestations of Brahma. Avalokitesvara put Hindu gods in place of the Bodhisattva, they are thus his puppets.

You wrote Brad's books, therefore there is no need for you to read them.

Avvy said...

Hi Ava,

Did you read HCZ? How was it?

Take Care,
Avvy

Mysterion said...

Read 3 reviews here...

Read more reviews here...

Better yet, don't contaminate your perceptions with expectations. Buy the book and read it.

carrottop rebel said...

"I'm sticking up for Brad not because what I think he says is the be all end all, but because people get on here and say things that are purposefully cruel things about him."

Yeah, I know what you mean. I hate when people are so cruel to Brad. I hate when they call him an asswipe, dickhead, buttbuddy, blockhead or useless piece of shit.

Oh wait...that wasn't what anyone said TO Brad, it's what Brad said to or about other people. And he was all brave about it too...used the internets and everything.

Anonymous said...

Zen!

HARDCORE!

Zen!

Zen!

ZEN!

ZZ_top said...

this is my Zen group on 33rd...

not a carrot top in the group - rebel, either

Rich said...

CarrotTop made me laugh. Are you the guy that was on TV?

for the guy who wanted the book review: Brad says you sit zazen for a half hour twice a day for the rest of your life.

Jinzang said...

How are his books?

I think most people will find them a pleasant and painless introduction to Soto Zen. Some people may be put off by his irreverence. He makes a few mistakes on technical issues. For example, he says metta is Sanskrit when it's Pali.

Muttonchop rebel said...

Dearest Avalokitesvara,
Please be advised that induction in the Brad Warner fanclub is not for the weak! Just read the 150 or so comments made in this comments section.

Avvy said...

Muttonchop,

No need to join a club! Just curious to hear about Brad's writing from folks who have read his books.

Thanks Rich & Jinzang,
Av

Mysterion said...

Resources for Learning Pali

(viz., the classical, literary language of Theravada Buddhism)

With special reference to problems of indigenous orthography and phonology

"All rights reserved,
all wrongs reserved",
by…Eisel Mazard

Everything related to Buddhism, even that which is remotely related to Buddhism, must be taken with utmost seriousness. Humor is strictly not allowed nor aligned with the eight-fold path.

97. The man who is without blind faith, who knows the Uncreated, who has severed all links, destroyed all causes (for karma, good and evil), and thrown out all desires — he, truly, is the most excellent of men.

(v. 97) In the Pali this verse presents a series of puns, and if the "underside" of each pun were to be translated, the verse would read thus: "The man who is faithless, ungrateful, a burglar, who destroys opportunities and eats vomit — he truly is the most excellent of men." source

It was a different time, puns were different then.

149 said...

149

GA said...

150

one-fitty-one said...

heyahs to my numma-homies:

151 !!!

Smoggyrob said...

Hi everyone:

My favorite joke of Brad's is his adding, "That's what she said!" when anyone around him says anything that could remotely be a double entendre. It's funnier the hundredth time you hear it than it is the first time.

Avalokitesvara, I'd highly recommend Hardcore Zen. I credit reading it as having had some positive effect on my life. HZ is a fast read and a good re-read. It's Buddhist message is powerful and direct, and entertainingly written. It's not wrong to sum up the message as: sit zazen for thirty minutes twice a day; but there is a little more to it than that. I look on the book as a vivid description of how coming to Buddhism was for Brad.

And to the Worldwide Numba' Crew, I think if the comments here hit 201 they'll roll over to a new comment page. I'm just saying.

Rob

153 said...

Right then, let's get to it!

153 !!!

Harry said...

154

marty said...

911 is a conspiracy, I tell ya' - a conspiracy.

geetar said...

156

George said...

157

cobie said...

158

trans_former said...

159

computer nerd said...

160

The wrong-eyed Jesus said...

189...Yeah!!! or...
451...Ohhh!!!

Jamie Lynn Spears had her baby!!!

Ginsang said...

Tibetan Buddhism rules!!!!

Anonymous said...

help!
I'm being held captive at a sesshin by a sangha that thinks I'm a zen teacher!
I've managed to find a laptop with internet and post this without having to break any precepts or any wind.

There's no one to save and no one to do any saving!

grisom said...

And to the Worldwide Numba' Crew, I think if the comments here hit 201 they'll roll over to a new comment page. I'm just saying.

Let's go for it! 164.

driver said...

165

U_Boat said...

166

Zen_group said...

167

huh? said...

168

jar-jar binks said...

170

wrad bwarner said...

169.5

sexual-mysterion said...

169.25

Kobutsu said...

I was beaten and raped when I was 18 in the DC Jail in 1968. It was shortly after that I began zen practice.

http://www.engaged-zen.org/SPRKoTestimony.pdf

Brad, dump the "shock-jock" mentality and get real. Your post is out of line and hurtful - you might try shutting your mouth and returning to solitary practice. What you are doing these days is not about clarity and compassion.

Ven. Kobutsu Malone-Osho

Brads lost son said...

See what happens when daddy goes away to sesshin?

Bruno the Snake said...

Brad is HOTT!!

carrottop rebel said...

Kobutsu Malone is an American Rinzai Zen Buddhist Priest of the Gempo-Soen-Eido lineage.

Whatever.
Rinzai is not Real Zen. All of Brad's fanboys know that. Yur just pist that Brad called Gempo bad names n stuff.

Kobutsu said...

Wrong Gempo kid.....

All-respect- to- you-zen said...

If rinzai is real zen, than why is Leonard Cohen still writing those depressing songs GODDAMMIT!

Anonymous said...

Kobutsu: with all due respect,
you tell Brad to 'get real'
Brad's adolescent humor (Bevis and Butthead variety) is just as real as anything else.
just as real as all serious with rakusu on

Maybe 'cause I worked at a group home with 7 kids for a year as one of the two 'live ins,' and stinky silly stupid kid humor was around me all the time, I just may have a streak of this stoopid stuff in me too.
I don't blog my dumb dumb humor, but people who rely on me, love me, or can't stand me, hate me all have to take me and my humor: we are all of one piece--my humor and I.

PhilBob-SquareHead said...

Kobutsu,
I'm deeply sorry for your ordeal in 1968.
My question for you is, with what respect did you decide you should be referred to as "VENERABLE"?

-Phil

fountain pen rebel said...

The comments reflect the Blog.

Brad calls people names.
Comment Folks call Brad names.

Maybe Brad, being the 'teacher' here, should step up and break the circle?

Kobutsu said...

"Venerable" is a convention equivalent to "Reverend" and denotes an ordained Buddhist Monk or Nun. There are a number of conventions and titles that vary within the traditions. I have had a lot of exposure in Malaysia where it is used extensively. Maha Ghosananda thought I should use it since I was over fifty and a senior priest. It is simply a descriptive, as is "Osho" which denotes rank and literally means "senior priest who administers the precepts". This is a formal aspect of Zen hierarchal structure that is not very well documented in the west.

PhilBob-SquareHead said...

Thank you Ven. Kobutsu for the explanation.

- Phil

Anonymous said...

A society can best be judged by
how it treats those on the bottom.

184 said...

184

wun-etty-fiyhv said...

185 !!!

Fly Me said...

186

mountaintop devil said...

"Brad calls people names.
Comment Folks call Brad names.

Maybe Brad, being the 'teacher' here,..."

Exactly. And isn't he doing a marvelous job? Aren't zen students supposed to surpass their teachers in accomplishment?
The comment section clearly shows that his students have truly grasped his dharma. True Real Certified Zen means calling people who disagree with you nasty names. Brad-san has taught us well,

Go MTD! said...

188

Anonymous said...

Speaking of name-calling, if you question
the official story, you will be called names,
but sometimes it takes a nut to start the
ball rolling:

Operation Inform the Troops

Of course, like the Soviet communists,
the first line of defense is to question
the dissenters' mental health.

bite me said...

nyah.. 200!

Bounty Hunter said...

191

your'e gay! said...

201

SZ said...

193

it is a conspiracy! said...

200!

Anonymous said...

almost there

Interstate said...

195

Anonymous said...

come on now

keishin.ni said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
199? said...

199?

200? said...

200?

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