Friday, January 18, 2008


As some folks already pointed out, I got an article in the latest ish of Shambhala Sun. It's the March, 2008 issue. You'll recognize it because it's the issue of Shambhala Sun with the Dalai Lama on the cover. Oh wait, the Dalai Lama is on the cover of every issue of Shambhala Sun. So it's the Buddhist mag that has the picture of the Dalai Lama on the cover. No, that won't work, they all have the Dalia Lama on the cover of every single issue. OK. It's the mag on the stands at your local new age book store with the Dalai Lama on the cover. No, that won't do either....

Just look on page 32 or 33 of every mag with the Dalai Lama on it and see if there's an article by me there with a picture of the Dalai Lama accompanying it.

Actually, it's a picture of Nansen slicing up a kitty cat. I guess they ran out of photos of Mr. Lama. Or they didn't have one of him knifing a kitten.

I got a few upcoming gigs. So those of you who write me saying it's distasteful that I plug my speaking gigs and retreats here, please avert your eyes:

February 29 - March 2 Retreat at the Atlanta Soto Zen Center. I don't have contact info yet. So just check the webpage & see who it says to contact for info.

April 25 - 27 Retreat at Southern Dharma Retreat Center in North Carolina. Again, I don't have contact info, so check the website.

May 4th 0DFX gig at Kent State University (May 4th, 1970 was the day four students were shot by the National Guard at Kent State, the event immortalized in Neil Young's song "Ohio")

The annual Dogen Sangha Zen Retreat will be held in Shizuoka, Japan in early September and I'm planning to be there as well.

39 comments: said...

Michael Tauin (sp?)Elliston is dharma heir to Zengaku Soyu Matsuoka Roshi (who just had us call him simply 'sensei' Please say hello from me, a distant lineage relative, as it were. I really have always liked Matsuoka Roshi's translation of the Great Heart of Wisdom Sutra best of all the ones I've encountered so far.

dood said...

most shameless plug:

wherever you go - there you are

take care,

Blake said...

Sometimes they have Thich Nhat Hanh on the cover but only when Mr. Lama is nowhere to be found.

And only so long at Mr. Hanh wears a funny hat.

Jinzang said...

Hey, Tibetans are the funny hat champs. And nobody messes with the Green Lama ("fights for the four freedoms") or was that the four noble truths? Four of something or other,

And you can't be a real Buddhist punk unless you dress the part in Buddhist Punk (tm) clothing.

ass head said...

Brad! Come to SLC and lead a retreat at Kanzeon!!!

theV said...

way cool. any retreats planned for NJ...the lovely armpit of america?

rat said...

i like cheese

Colorless white teacher learns endlessly said...

Since you'll be in the south, stop by the temple in New Orleans!

Anonymous said...

They don't all have the Dalai Lama on the cover, sometimes they have yuppies chillin' out in cool yoga outfits on the cover . . . like in the last two editions of Tricylce.

Anonymous said...

There is nothing more Buddhist than paying $120 for a T-shirt.

That is just silly . . .

mysteriondan said...

jinzang.. go easy on the ho ho's.. brad, go easy on the ho's. that is all my wisdom for this week.

Elvis_be_king said...

Speakin' o' suthurn, say hi to Elvis.

tracedcow said...

So, which issue has DL on the cover?

LaserJack said...

@gregor: "There is nothing more Buddhist than paying $120 for a T-shirt."

There is nothing more Buddhist than criticizing people for materialism and assuming attachment if someone owns any property.

Then again, criticizing someone for criticizing someone is... well, I think you get the point. :-)

@Jinzang: Your profile picture (fat naked man) is not YOU as I can tell by your web site. So is it just ridiculing about obese people? I am just curious.


dan said...

Jesus Jinzang you've really let yourself go over the christmas period.

Ohio is one of my favourite Neil Young songs. I didn't realise it was about what happened at the Uni. Shows how much attention I was paying to the lyrics I guess.

dan said...

dam, mysteriondan beat me to it

Gerry Gomez said...


Thanks for posting the Elvis clip. That is SO awesome!


Gerry Gomez said...

Dan said:

"Ohio is one of my favourite Neil Young songs. I didn't realise it was about what happened at the Uni. Shows how much attention I was paying to the lyrics I guess."

Neil Young wrote and CSNY released the song within days of the Kent State killings. See:


Ian said...

Exclusive Video from the last Dogen Sangha Retreat!
Just thought everyone would like to see things behind the scenes.

Roman G. said...

Say "Hello" to Sensei Elliston for me, too. I had the honor of having my tokudo ceremony officiated by Sensei Elliston when I took the precepts in 2005 here in Wichita. (Southwind Sangha is an affiliate of ASZC. )

If you see a copy of Usagi Yojimbo #93 at ASZC, you'll see my "stamp" on the zen center's library. : )

Mysterion said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jinzang said...

Your profile picture (fat naked man) is not YOU as I can tell by your web site. So is it just ridiculing about obese people? I am just curious.

I just thought it was a funny picture. It's not my intention to ridicule anyone. Though I'm not anonymous, I didn't want to post my picture as an avatar.

Smoggyrob said...

Hi everyone:

Ian, that link was hilarious. I'm crying with laughter as I type this. I'm going to watch all of them.

And hang in there, Jinzang, don't sweat it. I get complaint emails from extremely skinny people all the time. Fuck 'em.


DaBeiSyin said...

congrats!!! media coverage is such an ego boost.. yay.
I love your book. I read a lot so far.

LaserJack said...

@jinzang: It's 2 clicks to your web-site :-) so MI5 unveiled your disguise.


Anonymous said...


I had contacted Atlanta Zen center to do a retreat for an article I'm writing at school. What a pleasant surprize to find that one of my favorite authors will be there at the same time!

Thank you!

Jinzang said...

Ohio is one of my favourite Neil Young songs. I didn't realise it was about what happened at the Uni.

Ah, youth.

Here's what happened. After being elected on a pledge to end the war, Nixon invaded Cambodia instead, trying to shut down Viet Cong bases. This lead to mass protests. At Kent State someone burnt down the ROTC building. The National Guard was called to the campus by the governor. During a spontaneous protest, the National Guard fired randomly into the crowd, killing four. This led to huge protests on college campuses across the country, closing down most colleges for the rest of the school year.

Fun times (not). The interesting part to me is how the victims were vilified as the worst sort of scum afterwards, in spite of being innocent of anything, just random people in the wrong place at the wrong time.

mysteriondan said...

jinzang sed: "just random people in the wrong place at the wrong time.

that is true of all of us including the ohio national guard.
a lot of the protesters were being ass-wipes.
the guard were just terrified youth themselves.
not monsters. they need to be forgiven.

Anonymous said...

For a Bud o'mine, please pass this resume along:

The following individual seeks an executive position. He will be available in January 2009, and may be willing to relocate.


1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20520


Law Enforcement:
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the
influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's
license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost"
and is not available.

I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a
drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the
Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.


I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business
in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find
any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my
stock. I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal
that took land using taxpayer money. With the help of my father and our
friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was
elected governor of Texas.


I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making
Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston
replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.

I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in
borrowed money.

I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American
history .

With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's
appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by
over 500,000 votes.


I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal

I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one
billion dollars per week.

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any
12-month period.

I set the all-time record for most home foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the
U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million
Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any
in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, had a
Chevron oil tanker named after her.

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.

I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most
corporate campaign donations.

My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends,
Kenneth Lay,
presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History,

My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to
assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.

I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against
investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent
investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent
investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history. I
presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to
intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.

I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded
government contracts.

I appointed more convicted criminals to my administration than any
President in U.S. history.

I created the Department of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy
in the history of the United States government.

I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.

I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations
remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. "prisoners of war"
detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election
inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).

I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any
President since the advent of television.

I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year
period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the
worst security failure in U.S. history.

I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after the World Trade
Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated
country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to
simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people),
shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of

I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked,
pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I
did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S.
citizens and the world community.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in
duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime.

In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking
Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.

I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans
(71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world
peace and security.

I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.

I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to


All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's
library, sealed and unavailable for public view.

All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my
bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for
public view.

All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President,
Attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

nancy said...

hi brad.. jordan asked a good question on mr. gudo's blog. His answer was not so clear to me. do you think you could translate it? many thanks..

Anonymous said...

Did LaserJack say MI5?

Anonymous said...

Kent State and Bush's resume?
What's the connection between
Richard Nixon and George Bush?

Why Cheney and Rumsfeld, of course!

Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.

Same as it ever was.

Yudo said...

Talk about funny hats!

Someday, Brad shall have to wear one like that, too...

icebucket said...

What's wrong with the good ole Dalai Lama?

A know a guy who wrote a book about him and he saw him several times. He is also a Zen student and he said given the fact what crazy public importance people see in him he appears to be quite nice. I've read both, quite "superficial" books by the DL and also serious Buddhist commentary.

Also, I recommend a fairly descent movie (even the director doesn't know what Buddhism is about) about his so-called holiness:

Shows both: His traditional position in Asia and his somewhat embarrassing cult following in Europe. It's in German, but fortunately the director/author talks only seldom. Nice cinematography, too.


Anonymous said...

Happy MLK Day!

Anonymous said...

Exactly one year before his assassination,
MLK made the mistake of giving this speech:

"Beyond Vietnam"

(Don't mess with
the military-industrial complex :(

Mysterion said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
alan said...

saw brad warner on the cover and read the shambhala article! good thoughts, about unrealistic buddhist role models in the media. anyone have any examples of good buddhist role models in books/movies, etc?

Anonymous said...

Hey Brad! Looking forward to seeing you in Atlanta. Say hi to me, I'll be the dude sitting on a cushion.